Feb. 27th, 2011

gyzym: (RAWR)
To the motherfucking dipshit asswipe who clipped my car in the parking lot tonight:

Thank you. No, really--the dent you left by my headlight adds a certain amount of je ne sais quoi to my ride, don't you think? And the scrapes of pale green paint were a really nice touch; they stand out beautifully against the blue, scream accident in bight neon letters better than any imitation could. You probably didn't leave a note out of shame, or fear of a higher premium, or an inability to take responsibility for your actions like the fucking adult you're supposed to be, but what's a little insurance information between friends, right? You've given me so much more than any kind of settlement could--here I thought I was just running to grab an egg roll and some General Tso's, and I got a reaffirming sense of violation and irritation and screaming rage instead.

I feel a little forward asking for a favor, considering all you've done for me tonight, but it's just a small thing, so I'm going to ask anyway. If you could kindly proceed to your nearest fire--whichever is most convenient for you, of course, I'm not picky, and I know how you like taking the easy way out--and then go ahead and die in it, I'd really appreciate it.

Cheers,
Jizz

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gyzym

July 2011

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