Mar. 19th, 2011

gyzym: (John Stewart facepalm)
Burro and my father on the topic of going down to the Q and watching March Madness basketball live and in person for twelve solid hours:

My Father: Too much basketball. Tooooo muchhhhh basketballllll.
Burro: All of my senses are tingling with basketball.
My Father: Touch, sight, taste--
Burro: Smell. I can smell the basketball.
My Father: All the other senses.
Me: You named them all except for hearing, guys.
Burro: Look, I have sixth and seventh senses I don't even know about, okay, and all of them are overwhelmed by basketball. My basketball sense had too much basketball.
My Father: I feel like I'm never going to say anything but basketball ever again.
Me: You seriously felt it necessary to spend your drive home telling me this? Right now? We're having breakfast together in like eight hours.
Burro: That is less time than we spent with the basketball. That's four hours less. Than basketball time.
Me: I told you guys it was crazy to spend the whole day down there.
My Father: Nobody knows the trouble we've seen.
Burro: Nobody knows the chicken wings we've eaten.
My Father: He meant our sorrow. Our chicken wing sorrow. Even the chicken wings tasted like basketball, oh god.
Burro: Hey, turn the radio up, I want to check the score on the Georgetown game.

ldfhsdjkfhsd;lflkfdfajslfjsdfj
gyzym: (Sunset girl)
Oh my god these people are out of their minds:

Me: Maybe we take Burrito to see Rango tomorrow?
Burro: No, we gotta be downtown for the tournament by 4.
Me: Wait, you're going downtown for more basketball? What?! What happened to 'all our senses are tingling with basketball'?
Burro: That was yesterday.
My Father: We're going to watch basketball on TV all day today, and then we're going to watch it live all day tomorrow.
Burro: That's just what we do.
My Father: Because we're MEN!
Burrito: ~Men men men, manly men men~


Also, further proof that we are the worst Jews of all:

My Father: Wait, so is it actually Purim today?
Me: I thought it was the 21st.
Burrito: That's the spring equinox.
Burro: My phone says it's today.
My Father: Oh. Well, uh, happy Purim!
Burrito: Happy Purim!
Me: Happy Purim!
Burro: Heh heh heh, we named one of the pledges Haman this year.

My mother skipped this morning, guys. I'm alone in a sea of crazy dudes. Send help!

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

gyzym: (I vote for porn)
Linked by [livejournal.com profile] hermette, who must have a direct line to the land of Beauty and Rainbows or something:



I HAVE NO WORDS, ONLY FLAILING AND HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG. I DON'T EVEN HAVE THE CAPACITY TO MAKE A DOWN UNDER JOKE IN RE: WHERE I'D LIKE THIS MAN TO BE, THAT IS HOW GONE I AM.

SERIOUSLY. SERIOUSLY.

HNNNNNNNNNNNNNG.

ETA: OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU GUYS, [livejournal.com profile] siriaeve, WHO IS A GOOD PERSON, HAS FOUND THE ENTIRE MOTHERFUCKING ARTICLE WHICH GOES WITH THIS PHOTO AND YOU GUYS

YOU GUYS

THIS CAST, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST )
gyzym: (RAWR)
Alright, look, I have started writing this post like three times in the last few weeks, because this keeps happening to me, and it has happened to me my entire life, and it makes me nuts. But just now I'm sitting here in the goddamn coffee shop writing ridiculous fic and enjoying the lovely photos of O'Lough and DDK and Scotty and commentficcing up and down and around the town and trying to figure out where I'm gonna take Burro & Burrito for dinner, looking out at the sunshine. It's a good fucking afternoon, and then some random stranger starts talking to me because that's my lot in life, because no one ever understands that people wearing headphones and staring at a screen probably aren't dying to hear you wax rhapsodic about lawn chemicals or whatever the fuck. But fine, he starts chatting with me and fine, I take my fucking headphones out and fine, because I was raised to be polite to people and you can't just ignore someone talking to you, and anyway I just have one of those faces or something and people constantly do this.

And he's talking, he's talking, he's talking, and Jesus fucking Christ shut up shut up shut up I am trying to get shit done here, and then out of nowhere he drops an antisemitic comment that I'm not going to repeat like it's nothing. And, seriously, I don't know what is in the water around here lately, if it's just that Mel Gibson and what's-his-face from fucking Dior are like, striking this into people's hearts all of a sudden or what, but this is like the fourth time this month I've had to hear this crap.

So I say, "Dude, I'm Jewish, please do not say that shit to me," and he blinks at me and says what they all say: "Oh, sorry, you don't look Jewish."

Cut for me RAGING MY FUCKING FACE OFF )

I'm going to go have dinner with my brothers now, and when I return I will be going back to my excellent afternoon--to wit, writing more, commentficcing more, squeeing more. My sincerest apologies for interrupting your flail, and you may, of course, feel free to ENTIRELY IGNORE THIS. It was just this or get arrested for assault, and I didn't think this bastard was worth going to jail for.

Also, I'm 5'1'' and on the tiny side, so I don't necessarily know how much physical damage I could have done.

Finally, I would hope most sincerely that it goes without saying that the Jewish experience I discuss herein is mine and mine alone. I would never, ever suggest that the way I understand and experience Judaism is the way everyone else does--is the way anyone else does, come to that. I am a firm believer (er, obviously) in the concept that your identity, on any level, is yours and yours alone to define, and so I would be completely appalled if somehow the takeaway from this was that I felt any other way. I am pretty sure I didn't send that message, because it's so far away from my worldview that I can't imagine I could have, but I recognize that words pounded out mid-fury aren't always the clearest, so I'm stating it explicitly just in case. Okay? Okay.

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