gyzym: (JUST THIS ONCE)
Erp, so. Know I've been posting less than usual, and I am really sorry about that! RL's been a little nuts, my bad, dudes, but I am trying! And in homage to this, here is a post full of funny things. And puppies. And a bunny inna hat.

So, to start, here is the most hilarious video ever:



And here's a bunch of other stuff! )
gyzym: (Default)
OKAY, TWO THINGS.

One: sdjkfhsdjkfhsdkjf YOU GUYS, [livejournal.com profile] robanybody wrote A MOTHERFUCKING GOOD OMENS AU OH MY FUCKING GOD. Danny's Aziraphale, Steve is Crowley, Steve's truck turns everything into Queen, and MY HEART IS GOING TO EXPLODE FROM GLEE. Seriously, I mean, look, [livejournal.com profile] robanybody, I would read the phone book if she wrote it, because it would inevitably manage to be hilarious and incredibly written and jdfsdfksdf. THIS IS NOT THE PHONE BOOK, IT IS A GOOD OMENS AU WRITTEN BY A GENIUS, GO, GO, GO, GO.

Two: so, YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED THAT I AM A LITTLE ~CHANGEABLE~ (whatever I can make Sherlock jokes if I want) when it comes to like. My layout and default icons and shit. IT'S BECAUSE I LIKE PRETTY THINGS, OKAY, and also because I cannot make icons myself because Photoshop is expensive, yo. So, last night I spent some of my insomnia hours browsing We ♥ It, and the lovely and amazing [livejournal.com profile] hermette agreed to make me a default icon all my ownnnnnnn!

AND THEN SHE MADE ME TWO, AND I CANNOT PICK WHICH ONE I LOVE THE MOST. So, they are below; look upon them and vote, please please please?





[Poll #1729154]
gyzym: (Rainbow balloons!)
Last night my subconscious, apparently in the mood to fuck with me, dropped me into a dream where I was Jason Bateman's mail order bride. NO, I DON'T KNOW EITHER. I do know it must have been hysterical, as for the first time in years I woke myself up laughing, but this is the only part I remember:

Me: Are you...are you making sexy faces at yourself in the mirror?
Jason Bateman No!
Me: You are, aren't you?
Jason Bateman: ...oh, god, I miss Arrested Development so much.
Me: As do we all, Jason. As do we all.


SO, THAT HAPPENED. In the tradition of what the actual fuck, this is another Funny Shit On The Internet Is Funny post. "But Jizz," you're probably thinking, "you just did one of these the other day!" To you I say: I DREAMED I WAS JASON BATEMAN'S MAIL ORDER BRIDE. YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID.



You guys know the drill by now. )
gyzym: (Leaf)
Three FIVE things:

1) TUMBLR. WHAT IS IT, HOW DOES IT WORK, WHAT DOES IT DO. Mine is here, and I assure you it will have changed in theme and title at least four times by the end of the week, because I am like that. I POSTED A PICTURE OF PRETTY RAIN, oh, god, social media, why, why, why, I hate you why. IF YOU GUYS ARE ON TUMBLR, TELL ME AND I WILL...FOLLOW...YOU? POORLY, PROBABLY. Oh god mostly I'm doing this so I can stop making 15 posts a day here, and/or because I like the word "tumblr" even though it frightens me.

2) Sometimes I get weird about things, you guys know this, IF I HAVE MISSED REPLYING TO A COMMENT IT'S NOT YOU, it's that I'm not getting half my notifs and Burro went back to college Sunday morning and I miss him more than is really acceptable and sometimes that kind of thing manifests itself strangely, in that I get randomly overwhelmed and then feel like an asshole when I try to catch up because HOW DID I DO THIS and blah blah because I'm a ~special snowflake~, or, to put it another way, flaky. SORRY. SORRY. I am shaking it off and am mostly back to normal now, but the last few days were kind of just missing my bro and what the hell random anxiety that I didn't recognize until it was mostly over, mixed in with a story idea that has eaten me aliiiiiive, which I desperately want to talk about but am afraid of scaring away, because, eep, pressure! What if people don't like the idea? What if people DO LIKE THE IDEA AND THEN I CAN'T WRITE IT? <---Behold, the anxiety train, it's still in the station. I will probably spend the next few days being my regular old self but compulsively APOLOGIZING FOR EVERYTHING, be warned. Feel free to just ignore that, MY APOLOGIES :D

3) Shit, I've forgotten the third thing. WAS IT THAT [livejournal.com profile] iam_space HAS LEFT ME WITH THE IDEA OF CALLING MY TUMBLR "RUMBLR IN MY TUMBLR" AND I AM HAVING TROUBLE RESISTING? OR THAT I'M ALSO CONSIDERING CALLING IT "RUMBLR STUMBLR TUMBLR" EVEN THOUGH [livejournal.com profile] wheres_walnut WILL LAUGH AT ME FOREVER? Probs.

4) OH NO I REMEMBER THE THIRD THING IT IS THAT I DISCOVERED THE ULTIMATE FANGIRL TOOL AND IT IS THE FUCKING CAPS CONVERTER. Yeah, that's right. That conversation you had in a chat window in all caps with your BFF Jill or whoever, flailing about Steve and Danny and cocks? That you want to turn into fic but can't because, oh, fuck, you did the whole thing in caps? BOOM, BABY. NOT A PROBLEM ANYMORE.

5) Random fifth thing: did anyone on my flist go to University of Michigan? IF YOU DID, SING OUT--I PROMISE, DESPITE MY OHIO BLOOD AND MY LOVE FOR OSU, I WILL NOT HATE ON YOU FOR THIS. Um, much. Maybe a joke or two, but really I just need to ask you a million questions about U of M and their alumni program for no reason at all, lalalala no reason, ahem. Leave a comment or PM me with contact info if you're willing to deal with me, yeah? Be warned: if you do this, I will probably chat at you and/or send you rambling emails at odd hours of the night.

OKAY, ENOUGH NOW. HERE, HAVE SOME SCOTTY IN FLANNEL FOR NO REASON AT ALL, NOOOOOO REASON, THIS IS JUST TO MAKE UP FOR THE REST OF THIS RIDICULOUS POST:



Hnnnng, Scotty. Hnnnng.

ETA: ALSO JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ON A CRACKER DO THESE TUMBLRBOT EMAILS EVER GET LESS WEIRD
gyzym: (Turtle puppy!)
I've switched my layout and my default icon again--even though the icon on this post isn't the default one, gdi--because ~I'm so changeable~ or whatever. But I'm pretty damn sure I'll be sticking with this layout for awhile; I've coveted it forever, but have been looking for the right background image to tweak it with. I've got some more tweaks to do (like figuring out how to make that bar at the bottom green instead of black, and actually how to get rid of a lot of the black because it's too harsh with the lighter background, ffffff), but, yes. New layout! Hooray.

You guys should really all just probably expect that my journal's going to look different every time you come back to the main page, but I swear to god I'm going to try to commit to this one, ugh.

The icon thing is because I discovered that [livejournal.com profile] tulabula exists, and actually bought myself an icon package in my sudden crazy need to have them all. And also because, as much as I loved those shoes, there's only so long you can look at the same pair of shoes before it starts to drive you mad, you know? Especially if they're a pair of shoes that you made into your icon because you DESPERATELY WANT THEM and then you looked everywhere and couldn't find a pair that was close enough and looking at the icon was just a bitter bitter reminder of the shoes you could not have...*cough* I mean, I'm not crazy. Um.

Moving on, I am actually here now to tell you the bijillipede story I mentioned the other day, which I don't think I've told y'all yet, because I'm taking a break from writing before my brain oozes out my ears it is amusing.

SO: my family makes up names for things that:

a) no one else on the planet need a name for
b) other people do need a name for, but somehow are without one anyway, or
c) already have names attached to them, but INFERIOR NAMES THAT DO NOT DO SAID THING JUSTICE.


The bijillipede thing falls into category C; a bijillipede is, in actual fact, a bug. And, to be honest with you, I don't know the real name of the bug--people around here call them silverfish, but the internet is showing me photos of an insect I don't mean when I google that, so I'm not sure. I tried to search for a picture to identify it, and then made terrible horrified faces at my computer at the results and had to stop, because "grey wall climbing bug legs" does not actually yield you very pretty results.

Suffice to say: a bijillipede is a long skinny silver-grey bug that scuttles along walls. It is so named because it has a bajillion legs.

I HATE THESE LITTLE FUCKERS, YOU GUYS. I HATE THEM MORE THAN BEES, I HATE THEM MORE THAN SPIDERS, I HATE THEM MORE THAN ANYTHING. Nothing should have that many legs, nothing, it is terrible, it is wrong, it fills me with a deep and arcane terror, and the way they move...their little bodies just...oh god, I can't even think about it, aughhhhh.

I hate them, and I also didn't know they weren't...actually called bijillipedes...until I was, I swear to god, sixteen years old and at a house party with my friends. Here's how that went (names of characters are in relation to what these folks were to me at the time, not what they are now):

Bijillipede: *Scuttles along wall*
Me: *Shrieks* (look, okay, I am normally tough, I am, I really am, BUT THESE LITTLE BASTARDS FREAK ME OUT)
Boyfriend: What? What is it? Are you okay?
Me: It's a BIJILLIPEDE!!
Entire Party: ...Sorry, what?
Me: That, right there! Don't you see it! The bijillipede.
Best Friend: Oh, we see it, alright.
Boyfriend: What did you call it?
Me: A bijillipede! That's what they're called!
Best Friend: Noooo, no it's not.
Me: Come on, yes it is. You know, because they've got...a bajillion...legs...oh god, bijillipede isn't a real word, is it.
Boyfriend: *Helpless laughter*
Best Friend: *Helpless laughter*
Entire Party: *Laughter that probably could have been helped*
Bijillipede: *Exits stage left*


My parents maintain that this incident is my fault; Burro and I (he went through the same experience shortly thereafter) maintain that it is theirs. "You knew bijillipede wasn't a real thing!" my father said, when I told him. "....didn't you?"

No, no, I didn't. So teach your children well, you guys, lest they embarrass themselves at parties.
gyzym: (Tag!)
Right, so, iiiiiit's a bit of a blizzard up in Cleveland today, and I am mildly (read: very) snowed in. It's sad because I want coffee! But it's happy because I don't want to put on pants, so.

In between trying to do my job from my house, which would limit my ability to leave even if I *could* leave, I am working on fic and finding hilarious/delicious/etc things on the internet. So here, have some stuff:

1. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT WORKING AT A BOOKSTORE WAS LIKE (thanks, [livejournal.com profile] arineat, I would never have seen this without you and IT BRIGHTENED MY DAY):


Really I'm just trying to avoid getting work done )

OKAY, BACK TO WORK NOW. Hope you all are having fabulous days ♥
gyzym: (Journals)
This is totally a post about nothing except The Great Gatsby, and you should PROBABLY IGNORE IT.

1. Did you know that there is a Great Gatsby Game? Because I didn't until [livejournal.com profile] two_if_by_sea told me about it the other night, and I must tell you, my life is enriched. Apparently it was adapted for NES at some point and some guy has put it up online, and it is...oh my god, you guys, it is GLORIOUSLY RIDICULOUS. You have to fight the eyeglasses! You throw your hat at waiters and dancing girls! AHAHAHAHAHAHA FOREVER, ETC.

This part is me rambling around thoughts that may or may not have any merit )

4. SO READ THIS BOOK IF YOU HAVEN'T YET, GUYS, THAT IS MY POINT. There are problems with it and it's okay if you read it and hate it, but just...you know, just read it. It's this and East of Eden for me (yes, I know you all know that, yes, I know I insert East of Eden in everything, yes, shut up), and this morning I heard these two high school kids bitching that they weren't even gonna bother with the Cliff's notes, and it hurt me. It hurt me in my soul.

5. Have some Kate Beaton for your troubles! Goddamn, but I laughed at these this morning.


And two more )
gyzym: (Flowery neck)
THIS IS A POST RECCING VARIOUS THINGS THAT NEED RECCING, NATCH. (Sidenote: the other day my mother sent me a text with the word "natch" at the end, used correctly, and I was like, hey, where did you pick that up? "I made it up," she says. "It's an abbreviation for naturally!" WHAT EVEN.)

First and foremost, [livejournal.com profile] winterlive wrote Inception fic. It's called Get Lost, and it's 13K of Arthur genfic, and if you are one of those people who tends to read only within your pairing, I urge you--no, I implore you--to read this anyway. It is quite literally the best character study of Arthur I've ever encountered, and follows his journey across the country post-Inception as he ties up some loose ends and figures himself out. It's about growing up and going home again and not going home again and loss and strength and learning and who you end up being while you're not paying attention, and, oh, god, it's incredible. I just--you need to read this story, you guys. It's one of those that leaves you stunned and breathless at the end, that totally changes your viewpoint on the character while reinforcing it at the same time. SO. GOOD. Go forth and be amazed.

SECONDLY, [livejournal.com profile] angelgazing has made a post explaining what it is about Hawaii 5-0 that is so damnably addicting, because she's apparently not content with dragging just me into this fandom kicking and screaming. IT IS EXTREMELY COMPREHENSIVE AND VERY CONVINCING, but if anyone would like a quick and dirty summary of the show, my own is as follows:

-Steve's a ninja
-Danny's pissed
-THEY'RE SO MARRIED
-Jersey joke
-Hnnnnng Grace Park
-Hnnnnnng Daniel Dae Kim
-SERIOUSLY PLEASE JUST ADMIT THAT STEVE AND DANNY ARE MARRIED
-No understanding of or apparent concern about how laws actually work
-Jersey joke


I have had it confirmed by others that this is accurate. (Also over at [livejournal.com profile] angelgazing's journal is The Inception Anon Love Meme, which just fills me with warm fuzzies every time I look at it. ♥)

THIRDLY, [livejournal.com profile] emilianadarling, who is BEYOND AMAZING, did a podfic of my story Don't Feed Me, Seymour. For those of you keeping track at home, that was the one where Arthur is the worst cook ever--er, well, the one where Arthur is the worst cook ever that isn't part of domesticverse, I like that trope, okay??--and it is WAY, WAY, WAY BETTER as a podfic. [livejournal.com profile] emilianadarling's delivery is spot on and hilarious, and it's just awesome. I was grinning the whole way through in absolute joy and glee that anything I wrote could inspire something so fab. You guys should all check it out.

Finally, [livejournal.com profile] foxxcub's big bang is up, which, yes, I know that you know, and you probably think that I am biased because I beta read it, BUT WHATEVER. You still need to hightail it over to All the Rules to Break and read it at once. Serial killers and cops and the FBI and oh my god Arthur and Eames. The emotion is pitch perfect, the plot is a brilliant ride, do yourselves a favor and get over there post-haste.

OKAY, I'M OFF TO WORK ON THINGS that hopefully are not Hawaii 5-0 fic but probably will end up being Hawaii 5-0 fic anyway fml fml fml. I hope you all are having fantastic Thursdays :D
gyzym: (T.Hard w/ cig and skepticism)
First of all, MERRY/HAPPY, EVERYONE! Even for those of us for whom today is just a Saturday, albeit a Saturday when none of the stores are open :D

I was debating making a post about Chinese food and my family, but I have decided against it, largely because I had breakfast with my grandfather and my father and Burro&Burrito this morning, and it was literally SO MUCH LIKE AN EPISODE OF CURB THAT I HAD TO PINCH MYSELF. I can't even bear to relate it. There was arguing. And a few badly-landed penis jokes. And arguing. And a poor, hapless waiter who visibly regretted being employed at a Jewish deli. We tipped him heavily, but I doubt it eased the pain of having to listen to us very much.

Also also also someone wrote me an incredible Westing Game story for Yuletide!!! A Game of You, Theo/Turtle, and it's just excellent. EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER READ THE WESTING GAME SHOULD READ IT AT ONCE.

Now I am going to eat a piece of the amazing parve dobos tort the local Jewish bakery (ALSO OPEN CHRISTMAS DAY OH MY GOD BEST DISCOVERY OF MY LIFE) handily provided me this morning, and maybe take the plunge and watch the pilot of Hawaii 5-0, if I can find somewhere to...procure...it.

But first, a conversation about nothing at all that needs to be preserved for posterity anyway, even if it does make both me and Cathy sound more than a little bit like Pretentious Hipster Nerds....

Jonathan Frazen, Jonathan Safran Foer, and David Sedaris walk into a bar )
gyzym: (Sleepy!Arthur)
Well, obviously, when I was a small baby and too young to understand what was happening to me, someone leaned over and whispered "May you live in interesting times" in my ear, thus cursing me for all eternity. I say this because I have spent today:

1) In the crazy/awesome tie-dye sweatpants I rediscovered yesterday after three years of looking for them and
2) Watching Outbreak for the 7,000th time, because
3) I have food poisoning.

YES, THAT'S RIGHT, HAPPY THANKSGIVING. YOU GET A TAINTED TURKEY AND YOU GET A TAINTED TURKEY AND YOU GET A TAINTED TURKEY! Things I am never eating again: turkey. What the actual shit.

On the plus side, I updated my Ao3 page in between bouts of whining and making small noises of glee about Outbreak being on TNT (I love end of the world shit, okay, I love it, I don't know why, I loved The Day After Tomorrow and I loved 28 Days Later and I even loved 2012, which is a testament to how willing I am to love absolute shit so long as it's about the world ending. I also loved Stephen King's The Stand, extremely enjoyable book, but I read it for the first time on vacation during the peak of the swine flu business and my boyfriend at the time developed a respiratory infection and called me hacking, and I spent three days going OH MY GOD CAPTAIN TRIPPS WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE and drinking as much as I could get my hands on. But, um, I digress).

So, point being, all my Inception fic--all of it, oh my god you guys, I have written so much Inception fic what the hell--is up on Ao3 now. I have not gone through and done all of my White Collar or Sherlock Holmes stuff yet, and I haven't linked each individual Inception story to it's Ao3 page, because frankly I got bored and Outbreak ended. But! I did go through and provide individual links on my LJ master post, and I now also have Ao3 main page, so there's that. I'll be going through and archiving the Holmes & WC stuff too at some point in the near future, and probably doing links within each fic...uh...eventually.

HOORAY ORGANIZATION. Now I think I'm going to watch Psych, because my desire to cuddle Shawn is very large, and I'm not yet able to focus enough to write. Another hour or so should do it! AND THEN I WILL PRODUCE FIC FOR YOUR GUYS. YES.
gyzym: (Default)
DEAR COBB,

It is your fault that when listening to the Ani Difranco song Slide, which is in fact kind of a hurty song and not at all hilarious, I end up in wild hysterics. Why? Oh, because of the line "when I look at you I squint/you are that beautiful."

JESUS CHRIST I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'VE RUINED ALL SQUINTS FOR ME,
J

-

Arthur, darling,

Look I know you love Eames and everything and that's great, but if you could stop getting all soppy and stupid and just, um, behave for long enough for me to write out this stupid fucking story that would be so super fab. I will write you some porn next, I promise.

Cheers,
J

-

EAMES,

NOT THAT IT ISN'T PLEASANT BUT SERIOUSLY STOP TRYING TO HIJACK EVERY IDEA I HAVE AND INFUSE IT WITH GETTING DRUNK AND PUTTING YOUR HANDS ON ARTHUR'S ASS.

I AM TRYING TO WRITE,
J

-

Dearest friendlist,

Leave me Inception prompts or something? I can't promise I'll fill them because I am like notoriously bad at that kind of thing but rrrrrgh I am very stuck and I FEEL LIKE WRITING BUT IT IS NOT COMING OUT RIGHT and I am having structural issues with these stupid fucking Arthur & Eames meet each other's families fics and THIS CAMPING AU NEEDS A PLOT and the film thing is so fucked that I don't even and dfjdsfsdkfhdsjkfhksd.

*Whimper*,
J
gyzym: (jesus christ eames why you gotta be so f)
I filled a hilarious kinkmeme prompt out of a need to take a break and write some crack. 900 words of ridiculousness later, I don't even know if I should post this to the comms [livejournal.com profile] angelgazing used her damned "I wrote the Inception team as Care Bears" argument and made me cross-post this. I just. I do not even. Wut.

Title: Shit Arthur Says
Rating: PG (possibly PG-13 for language)
Pairing: Arthur/Eames
Summary: Written for this prompt: Eames has a secret twitter called, "Shit Arthur Says." Well, secret to Arthur, that is.

Shit Arthur Says )
gyzym: (Default)
The people have voted and whatnot and the first part of TA!Holmes: The Sequel (not the actual title) will go up tonight after I eat something. But first, uh. First a weird little not-quite-poem thing!

Cleveland from the Corner of 79th and Shakedown Street )
gyzym: (Sunglasses!Holmes)
Okay, this is, at this point, just shameless procrastination. I AM COMING BACK IN A SECOND BIG BANG THING, BUT I'VE BEEN WORKING ON YOU SINCE LIKE 8 AM AND YOU ARE NO LESS AWKWARD OR UNFINISHED THAN YOU WERE WHEN I STARTED AND I BEGIN TO DESPAIR OF MY LIFE. SO YOU WILL HAVE TO WAIT A MINUTE. SUCK IT.

Cut for general rambling that has taken up more space than I meant it to. OH PROCRASTINATION. )

In other news, it's really like I don't even have hair anymore. It's like I have an animal sitting on my head. It's...fuzzy. I am starting to think it's sentient; I think it's laughing at my dismay, I really do. Just, curls everywhere, everywhere everywhere, and even if I bother straightening it I step outside and the humidity UNDOES MY WORK. Which is not fair. I look like a Q-tip. A frizzy blonde Q-tip.

My brother says with should hide things in there, because he is a cruel soul determined to torture me, or because he thinks it is funny to watch my face turn purple, I'm not sure which.

[ETA: CRAP. APPARENTLY I HAVE TO GO SEE MY EXTENDED FAMILY TONIGHT. GOOD MOOD ERASED BY PANIC. ARRRGH]

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