gyzym: (Blueberries!)
I know what you are all thinking right now. You are all thinking, "Hmmm, I wonder why I am at such a low level of irritation tonight!" PROBABLY IT IS BECAUSE I HAVE NOT BEEN AROUND TO POST A MILLION AND FIVE THINGS. Alas for you, I am here now, and will probably post again tonight because there is something wrong with me, I'm sorry, it's terrible, I know.

BUT. Okay, so, everyone and their brother was making cookies today--seriously, my entire twitterfeed was making cookies, what is happening, IS IT NATIONAL COOKIE DAY, WHERE WAS MY MEMO--but I am not everyone, and my brother wanted stew. And I thought to myself as I was making the stew, "Hey, self, it is widely agreed by assorted members of your family that this is the second-best thing you make, and since you have all kinds of weird BUT IT'S FAMILY ennui about posting your chicken soup secrets, perhaps you should share this with the class instead." So here I am. Sharing.

Some things this recipe is not: vegetarian friendly, even remotely Kosher, good for you. Seriously, like, augh, this is not Paula Deen bad for you, but it is definitely Ina Garten bad for you. I don't generally spend much time thinking about calories/fat content/whatever--which is possibly because my 13-year-old self was like FUCK SCALES, FUCK MAGAZINES, I WILL EAT LESS IF MY PANTS GET TOO TIGHT AND MORE IF THEY GET TOO LOOSE, OBSESSING ABOUT MY WEIGHT IS STUPID and I never stopped living that way--but I do generally try to stick to eating food that is good for my body, because eating well is great for mental health. This is not that kind of food. At all. BE WARNED.

Some general notes:

a) I am allergic to dairy; anywhere I say "butter," I actually used margarine. I say butter because you should probably use butter, I hear it's better.

b) Unless I'm baking I don't cook with measurements; my philosophy in the kitchen is largely either "I will read this recipe once and shop/cook based on what I vaguely remember" or, more often, "HERE'S A BUNCH OF THINGS, LALALALA, INTO THE POT THEY GO." This is my recipe, so I can't even point you guys to a version of it with measurements and tell you where to tweak. SORRY GUYS.

c) I wrote this in a conversational, cooking-for-complete-morons format so I can send it to Burro and his frat brothers. I know many of you guys know what "rendering bacon" means, but trust me, Burro and the bros do not. I AM NOT TALKING DOWN TO YOU; I AM TALKING DOWN TO MY BROTHER. Mostly I didn't want to have to write this out twice.

d) Much like that urban legend about the test that you should read over first because the last question is something like "Write your name on top of the page and turn in the test entirely blank for full credit," you should...read this through...before you cook this. Because I am not good at linear thought and this is basically just my average rambling, but about making stew.

OKAY. FORWARD MARCH.

Beef Stew, The Way Burro Likes It: A Recipe, Sort of, And Many Cautionary Tales )
gyzym: (Rainman)
So, amongst the shitstorm of craziness I'm dealing with at my job this week, I've been assigned a task that I don't want to talk about because:

a) It is asinine
b) It is asinine
c) It involved a conversation in which I said, "Hey, can you forward me the email chain with the information I'll need," and the person who assigned me this task said, "No, I have deleted it, but I have a hard copy," which lead to me being given A 120 PAGE PRINTOUT OF OTHER PEOPLE'S EMAILS, WHAT DECADE IS THIS, WHO DOES THIS.

However. One of the things this task involves is me creating a world map marking off certain countries, and when I google image searched "world map labeled" for a reference, this is the first thing that came up. (To be fair, my work computer is running Internet Explorer Version Caveman; it was the second result to pop up when I ran the search on my Mac.)



DEAR WHOEVER MADE THIS MAP: I THINK YOU MISSED A SPOT

ETA: Apparently this map is actually about volcanoes, which kind of excuses the gaps, although it does not excuse Zaire or the fact that it is THE FIRST OR SECOND RESULT WHEN GOOGLING FOR A LABELED WORLD MAP.

But at least things make more sense now, y/y?
gyzym: (Liiiiiiimes)
I might as well call today National Jizzy Talks About Fandoms That Aren't Inception Day, because I'm making this post to flail about last night's White Collar and to rec (of all things) a Merlin fic, and then tonight I'll be posting 15-20K of Veronica Mars nonsense (wordcount pending final edits, cuts from three scenes, and the het porn I have to write this afternoon).

I could, based on the above, call it National Jizzy Writes Run-On Sentences Day, but I feel like that'll only doom me on the het porn before I start.

OKAY SO, uh, first, I need to talk about White Collar, just briefly. I know it's been forever since I did a post-ep reaction, but there was a lot last night that I think is worth talking about, just from a character development angle.

Here there be spoilers )

Anyway, the *second* thing I have to do here is post an enthusiastic rec for the Merlin fic everyone's been talking about: Pairing Pendragon/Merlin, by Anon, in which Arthur is a BNF and Merlin is his beta. And, now, look, normally I don't rec fics already touted all over the place, because I feel like that asshole who is late to the party going I BROUGHT BEER...OH, BUT I SEE YOU...HAVE BEER...

But here's the thing, guys. When I see people from a fandom I'm not in going "Read this fic from my fandom, you don't need to know the canon," I tend to think, "Pshaw, you only think that because you know the canon so well you don't have to think about it, I WILL ONLY BE CONFUSED." I am sure I have missed out on a number of fantastic fics because of this, but there you go. In order to read a fic in a fandom where I don't know the canon, I have to have it basically shoved down my throat.

HOWEVER, if someone who is *not* in the fandom says, hey, I'm not in this fandom and I loved this fic, then I tend to sit up and take notice.

So hear this, people of my flist: I am not in the Merlin fandom. I have never been in the Merlin fandom. I have not watched even one episode of Merlin, because I know if I did I'd end up writing fic, and I can't have another fandom and continue sleeping, it's just not possible. My ENTIRE INTERACTION with Merlin fandom has been:

1) Reading this fic [livejournal.com profile] augustbird kindly forced on me (STILL GRATEFUL, BTW) where Arthur was a frat boy and Merlin was like...his partner in English class? I don't know, but it was amazing--and actually if [livejournal.com profile] augustbird or anyone else knows what fic I'm talking about, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LINK ME, I read it months ago and then lost it, and I'd like to read it again

2) Reading Teaching The Indie Kids To Joust Again, which a) is actually Bradley/Colin RPS and not Merlin fic at all and b) I loved and everything, but only read because (sorry, [livejournal.com profile] bookshop) I was so captivated by the title

3) Reading this fic I'm reccing to you now and

4) Watching The Sword in The Stone so many times the year I turned seven that my parents eventually had to take the tape and burn it. At least, that's what my father tells me they did with it--my mom says it broke on its own, but, knowing them, I'm thinking the burning is more likely.

SUFFICE TO SAY, THE MERLIN FANDOM AND I ARE NOT SECRET BOSOM BUDDIES OR ANYTHING. I don't lurk there, I'm not a closet Merlin fan, I have no investment in telling you to read this fic. We are two roads diverged in a yellow wood, the Merlin fandom and I. I am the East and it is the West and never the twain shall meet, etc.

But this story, you guys, is just--I mean, aside from the obvious meta inherent in a fanfic about fandom, which others have talked about with far more intelligence and poise than I ever could--this is just straight up good storytelling. It's engaging on every level, the characters are sharp and believable and awkward and gorgeously rendered, and the whole thing is just a joy, an absolute joy to read. And I say that with no base knowledge of the canon--I say that because you guys should give it a try, regardless of your fandom proclivities. I would buy this as original fiction, and I do mean buy it, with money, like an adult. I would buy it with pride.

OKAY, I THINK I'VE PUT OFF WRITING HET PORN FOR LONG ENOUGH NOW. And, because I do feel guilty about the lack of Inception in this post, here is something you'd have to be soulless not to enjoy:


IT'S ARTHUR AND EAMES AS BABY OTTERS. NO ONE CAN ARGUE WITH THAT. ♥
gyzym: (Default)
I was going to do a whole post about my wild and crazy weekend, but, uh, it seemed like a lot of work. Also I have the flu! It snuck up on me in between all the drinking, I guess, in like a. Um. A Crouching Tiger Hidden Influenza kind of way? I think they poured it into my long islands. Long Islands contain everything else, after all. THERE IS NO REASON THEY WOULD NOT CONTAIN LIQUID FLU. Augh, I don't know, ignore my rambling, I'm dizzy and watching Veronica Mars in my tie-dye PJ bottoms trying to decide if I can make it to the grocery store for more juice or if the path to the store is fraught with too many obstacles. Obstacles like: pants wearing. Obstacles like: walking. THE THOUGHTS OF A SANE PERSON, THESE ARE NOT.

In thoughts that I had and wanted to ask you guys about before I was struck down with plague: I am thinking about starting a blog about like. My crazy family etc etc. Basically, the non-fandom posts I do here, only somewhere else. I have lots of reasons for this, but when I try to pop into critical thinking and explainyness right now my brain makes sizzling noises and then dings like the microwave door, so I'll have to...explain later. SUFFICE TO SAY I'm wondering about like...good blogging clients and whether or not you guys would read it and also the title. SO HERE IS A POLL:

[Poll #1664587]

THIS POST BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE LETTER AUGH I WANT TO DIE AND THE NUMBER FJDSFNSDFKS. *FALLS DOWN STAIRS/DRAGS SELF TO GROCERY/GOES BACK TO SLEEP*
gyzym: (Red house)
So, uh, before I do anything else, I have AN ENTHUSIASTIC REC. The truly incredible [livejournal.com profile] wandrinparakeet did a fanmix for the domesticverse, and, just, YOU GUYS. This fanmix is just like. jdfdskf AMONG OTHER THINGS, ABOUT HALF OF THE SONGS ARE ON MY *PERSONAL* SOUNDTRACK FOR THAT VERSE, and the rest of them are INCREDIBLE, I've listened to nothing but this mix all day. I am just so flattered and so floored, and it really is some fabulous music, and she did gorgeous liner notes to go with and I am just. I AM A BALL OF LOVE. Trust me, GO DOWNLOAD IT.

And now for some information that I found extremely jarring, and some thinky thoughts about it!

The Year in Fic Meme! )
gyzym: (Arthur/Eames/Snake)
Thing I am deeply considering putting on my journal somewhere even though it totally doesn't relate to the content:

"They say all foxes are slightly allergic to linoleum, but it's cool to the paw - try it. They say my tail needs to be dry cleaned twice a month, but now it's fully detachable - see? They say our tree may never grow back, but one day, something will. Yes, these crackles are made of synthetic goose and these giblets come from artificial squab and even these apples look fake - but at least they've got stars on them. I guess my point is, we'll eat tonight, and we'll eat together. And even in this not particularly flattering light, you are without a doubt the five and a half most wonderful wild animals I've ever met in my life. So let's raise our boxes - to our survival. "
-The Fantastic Mr. Fox

WHICH, OKAY, DOES NOT TRANSLATE ALL THAT WELL IN TEXT BUT I JUST. See the movie you guys IT IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL MOMENT, I DON'T EVEN CARE IF YOU JUDGE ME. *WEEPS*

Also, things that are happening tonight:

-Sushi
-JDSKFJSKFHSDF OH MY FUCKING GOD FINISHING MY FUCKING YULETIDE I HAVE LESS THEN SIX HOURS AND LESS THEN 800 WORDS
-Probably another voice post on my way to coffeeshop for writing Yuletide (purpose: testing out new headphones)
-Working on that one thinger and starting that other thinger
-Sleep?

BUT REALLY THIS POST EXISTS SOLELY FOR ME TO QUOTE FANTASTIC MR. FOX AND FOR THIS PICTURE:



BABY FOXES. BABY. FUCKING. FOXES. JSDJFSDKFSDKF
gyzym: (Default)
Changed my layout and my default icon (SORRY CATHY I GOT REALLY SICK OF THAT RED HOUSE ALL THE FUCKING TIME DON'T HATE ME I KNOW IT IS CONFUSING BUT YOU WILL ADAPT SOMEHOW). Also changed my journal title for the first time since HAVING this journal, largely because... er, well. Because while "angelheaded hipsters" was and is one of my favorite Ginsbergian turns-of-phrase, I am not actually a hipster? At least not according the the current definition. I'd be more accurately described as "hippie," and I've wanted to screw around with my journal title for ages. It will probably change again shortly, once I scroll through the Inspiration Meme for the umpteenth time, but for right now it's a line from the e.e. cummings poem here's to opening and upward.

In other news, [livejournal.com profile] onthecount and I had a conversation last night about a Wizard of Oz AU and she...she drew DOROTHY COBB, oh, it is so glorious, and several other EQUALLY GLORIOUS THINGS (Tin Man Arthur! Scarecrow Eames! oh god really just click that link).

Furthermore, if anyone still needs proof that I am apparently Larry David, here is an actual conversation from the Chanukah brunch my family did this morning to make up for the one that got canceled due to blizzard:

My Aunt: Here, have some fruit.
My Father: Thanks.
My Aunt: Why aren't you taking any mango? Take some mango.
My Father: No, I don't like mango.
My Aunt: Of course you like mango. Everyone likes mango. Have you ever even tried mango?
My Father: Yes, I've tried it. I don't like it.
My Aunt: YES YOU DO, EVERYONE LIKES MANGO. EAT THE GODDAMN MANGO.
My Father: I DON'T LIKE MANGO.
My Aunt: You're probably mixing it up with something else. Where did you have it--in a smoothie? On a salad? Because you have to just try it plain to--
My Father: I've had it in smoothies and in salads and plain, I don't like it, I feel like I'm in Green Eggs & motherfucking Ham, I AM NOT EATING THE MANGO.
My Aunt: YOU MUST HAVE BEEN EATING SOMETHING ELSE, MANGO IS GOOD NO MATTER HOW YOU PREPARE IT.
My Father: The only time I've ever liked it was when I had some of those dried slices.
My Aunt: Oh. I don't like it like that.
Everyone: DSJFDSJFSDHJFKHDSFJKDSFHKDSJ.

Okay AND NOW I AM WRITING THINGS, BECAUSE I KNOW ALL I DO LATELY IS POST ABOUT HOW MY CRAZY FAMILY IS CRAZY, BUT IN MY DEFENSE...THEY ARE CRAZY. But my writing mojo is baaaaaaaaack, THERE WILL BE FIC OF SOME KIND BY THE END OF THE WEEKEND I SWEAR. My holiday_heist thinger went up yesterday but it was, let's be honest, largely an excuse to make it widely known that my people, the Jews, eat Chinese food on Christmas. BUT I COULD HAVE JUST LINKED YOU TO THIS VIDEO:



:DDD

ETA: OH ALSO, in an attempt to aid in the fake-naming of my brothers, I asked the 19 year old what he would pick as a superhero name. He considered deeply and then, dnfjsdfndsf oh my god, said MUTATION, and when I asked him why he said, very seriously, "Because it's a name of ambiguous morality. I could be caught in the epic internal struggle of good and evil! THINK OF HOW MANY COMIC BOOKS THAT WOULD SELL."

I reminded him that it was a theoretical exercise, but he would not be swayed. What even is my life.
gyzym: (T.Hard w/ cig and skepticism)
OKAY, JUST SO EVERYONE IS CLEAR:

I am going to a concert tonight, and I have been trying to see this artist again since I saw him in 2007, and literally I have had tickets for a show FIVE TIMES and one time my tire exploded on the drive there and one time I got the flu and one time we were on vacation and thwarted by the fucking oil spill and one time I fell down the stairs and twisted my ankle and had to go to the emergency room and ONE TIME HIS DRUMMER FUCKING DIED.

I'm not superstitious by nature. I am not one of those people who sets a lot of store by bad luck. BUT GIVEN THE CIRCUMSTANCES, I AM A LITTLE UNSETTLED AT THIS POINT.

So. Um. If bandits make off with me or something between now and tomorrow--because obviously I am tempting fate by attempted to see this guy another time--IF I AM TAKEN BY THE CRUEL WINDS OF DISASTER, PLEASE KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU ALL VERY MUCH ♥
gyzym: (Jude is concerned)
HI, GUYS. APOLOGIES IN ADVANCE FOR POSTING MULTIPLE ENTRIES AT ONCE, I KIND OF FORGOT TO POST THE FICS I WROTE FOR THE KINK MEME LAST WEEK.

Everyone waiting on answers to your TA!Holmes & Waston questions: they're coming! The boys got distracted. It's really nice being able go out again, according to Holmes. Watson says he misses avoiding the clubs, but then he looks at Holmes like he's the only one in the room, so I don't think he's serious.

OKAY. FIC ONE.

Title: Martyrdom of Pin Pricks
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Holmes/Watson
Word Count: 3399
Warnings: Rimming. Anal sex. Holmes falling into the Thames again, because I love to soak that man and I cannot help myself.
Author's Note: A fill over at [livejournal.com profile] shkinkmeme, where [livejournal.com profile] mothergoddamn was having the kind of atrocious day that is just a conglomeration of a thousand little things. She wanted Holmes suffering the same and Watson helping him work it out. Uh, over the arm of the settee. What could I do but oblige?
Summary: Holmes has one of those days, and Watson has a solution.

Martyrdom of Pin Pricks )
gyzym: (Sunglasses!Holmes)
Okay, this is, at this point, just shameless procrastination. I AM COMING BACK IN A SECOND BIG BANG THING, BUT I'VE BEEN WORKING ON YOU SINCE LIKE 8 AM AND YOU ARE NO LESS AWKWARD OR UNFINISHED THAN YOU WERE WHEN I STARTED AND I BEGIN TO DESPAIR OF MY LIFE. SO YOU WILL HAVE TO WAIT A MINUTE. SUCK IT.

Cut for general rambling that has taken up more space than I meant it to. OH PROCRASTINATION. )

In other news, it's really like I don't even have hair anymore. It's like I have an animal sitting on my head. It's...fuzzy. I am starting to think it's sentient; I think it's laughing at my dismay, I really do. Just, curls everywhere, everywhere everywhere, and even if I bother straightening it I step outside and the humidity UNDOES MY WORK. Which is not fair. I look like a Q-tip. A frizzy blonde Q-tip.

My brother says with should hide things in there, because he is a cruel soul determined to torture me, or because he thinks it is funny to watch my face turn purple, I'm not sure which.

[ETA: CRAP. APPARENTLY I HAVE TO GO SEE MY EXTENDED FAMILY TONIGHT. GOOD MOOD ERASED BY PANIC. ARRRGH]

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