Feb. 22nd, 2011

gyzym: (Steve/Danny b&w)
Oh, man, this is a straight-up case of "I couldn't not write this." Started it as an abstract over on [livejournal.com profile] hermette's journal and then immediately went "Welp, nope, okay, this must be done immediately, cannot rest until I have written it," and here we are. Not even rating it, because nothing worth rating really happens, but you guys all know about my foul fucking language, so, you know, be warned.

Christ. AT LEAST IT'S NOT RIDICULOUSLY LONG THIS TIME.

Title: you testify and i'll pour the drinks
Pairing: Steve/Danny [Danny/Rachel]
Wordcount: ~1500
Summary: Post-ep for 1.18

you testify and i'll pour the drinks )
gyzym: (Danny (the face that goes with the tone))
Those of you who've been around for awhile may remember the last time I made a post about a lucid dream; for those of you who are just joining us (and hello, by the way, lovely to meet you all :D), I...er. Well, sometimes I have dreams and realize that I'm dreaming while I'm dreaming, which is great, it's awesome, except for how I can't seem to put together any more than that. After last night's, I actually think my problem is an inability to recognize that I'm in control of my environment as well as myself, but that's not the point here.

The point is, I had a lucid dream last night, but in order to tell you that story, I have to tell you this story, which starts the same way most of my stories do: with the sentiment that my family is not particularly sane. You guys all know this already, but it bears repeating--constant repeating--because it is so deeply true. And sometimes, we get together and play a game we affectionately call Penalty Jeopardy.

Here's how Penalty Jeopardy works: you watch Jeopardy. When you get a question right, you get a high five. When you get a question wrong, you get a pinch. If you run a category, you get both (high fives for being awesome, pinches for being such a nerd).

Now, I should point out at this juncture that these aren't particularly painful pinches we're doling out. We're not coming out of this experience bruised or anything, barring that terrible week when Burrito, too young to understand the game or know his own strength, pinched the shit out of all of us indiscriminately for the whole half hour each night. It's a love-pinch, really, and is frankly nothing compared to the verbal abuse we fling at Alex Trebek, who, along with clowns (just, as a population), is the family nemesis.

So last night, we played Penalty Jeopardy, and it was the fucking Teen Tournament, and I ran a category that I can't remember the name of but was, essentially, "Give the meaning of these Spanish verbs."

Here, in case any of you are wondering, is my study history of languages other than English:

-Four years of high school Latin
-One year of high school French (things learned: "Je ne parle pas Francais" and "Je voudrais un sandwich")
-One quarter of college Italian (abandoned because I was just answering test questions in Latin)
-One day of college Chinese (which, okay, it was my first class on my first day of freshman year and I somehow ended up in an upper level course without realizing it, and when I went to do the homework that night there was this CD I had to play, and I turned it on and it said "*Five minutes of a language I don't speak at all*" followed immediately by "What did Joey have for dinner?" I DROPPED THAT CLASS LIKE IT WAS HOT, YOU GUYS. And then by the time I realized I'd been in the wrong level I was too freaked out by the experience to try again.)

So my family, naturally, was like HOW DID YOU DO THAT, and I was like IT'S BASIC VERBS FROM A ROMANCE LANGUAGE, THEY'RE ALL ROOTED IN LATIN, and then my father told me I need to stop indulging my Matilda complex, and I told him that the fact that he chooses to compare himself to Danny Devito in any capacity is not my issue, and then Alex Trebek snickered at someone like the asshole he is and we all yelled SHUT UP ALEX and went on with our game. Later, I watched the new 5-0 (oh my god oh my god etc), wrote a post-ep, and went to bed.

And ALL OF THAT is, I think, why I blinked asleep in a dream featuring Danny Williams, Steve McGarrett, and 12 people speaking only in Latin. )

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