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Fic; 20 Random Facts About Sirius Black (As Told By James Potter); PG-13
Hey, so, I know I was like "Send me prompts!" and then I never answered any of them. But I'm GONNA, I just, there was this plotbunny, it ATTACKED me. Viciously and involving its teeth. But, anyway, um. It'll be done at...some time. Soonish? I hope.
Aaaand I did one of those 20 Random Things memes as a writing exercise yesterday, because I couldn't get James' voice right. And here it is, because I feel guilty about how long this stupid fic is taking me to finish. Happy *insert winter celebration here*, everyone!
Title: 20 Random Facts About Sirius Black (As Told By James Potter)
Rating: PG-13? Some discussion of tequila and nipples, some swearing.
Summary: No, you can't have a summary. It's a 20 things meme! This would have to read "Summary: James Potter says 20 random things about Sirius Black," and you guys are smart enough to figure that out from the very creative title.
20 Random Facts About Sirius Black
(As told by James Potter)
1.) Sirius—and don’t tell him I know about this—used to sing to Harry when he thought I wasn’t around. Never nursery rhymes, either…Sinatra, the Beatles, The Who. I’ve never seen him smile so big as he did when Harry sang “too raa loo raa” to his “Come on Eileen.”
2.) Oh, I tell a lie. I’ve seen him smile like that once before, but there may have been some tequila involved. Possibly some snogging. Maybe my left nipple…but I don’t remember! And I don’t want to talk about it! And it didn’t happen! But if it had happened, Sirius would have been smiling pretty big. It didn’t, though. That’s all I’m saying.
3.) He gardens, Sirius does. He was bloody tops in Herbology, and he helped Lily with the tomatoes last summer, and he has a windowbox. With flowers in. I don’t really know where we went wrong.
4.) That thing in fourth year with the ceiling and McGonagall’s underwear was my idea, but he took the detention anyway.
5.) That thing in fifth year with the third floor corridor and McGonagall’s underwear was his idea, and I don’t care what anyone says.
6.) He’s never liked chips, but he orders heaps of them, because his mother told him they were “nasty, common food” when he was about seven. Usually he makes me eat them.
7.) When he was fifteen, he kissed Lily under the mistletoe on Christmas. “She was just there,” he explained to Remus later, when they thought I was asleep. “I wasn’t even thinking about it. I’m such a berk.”
8.) He still worries I’ll find out and hate him for it. STILL. He’s really a very unstable man, our Sirius.
9.) He can never find his footing when he’s drunk. Not. Ever. As the person who always has to catch him when he falls down the stairs and lands on my fucking face, I am more than qualified to make this statement.
10.) Sirius thinks—and always has, I might add—that all the girls think he’s just dashing. I’ve tried to convince him otherwise, but his ego is both untouched and, I suspect, untouchable.
11.) I’ve suspected he was gay since our third year; he’d get all weird in the Quidditch showers. I didn’t say anything until fifth year, and then I asked him about it. He'd kissed Lily, after all; I had to be sure. He punched me. In the face. In the fucking face, like it wouldn’t suffer enough damage from him over the years. Bastard.
12.) But then he wept like a little girl and confessed his big gay secret and it was HILARIOUS, though of course I was a good friend and patted his back and didn’t laugh at the time. I still can’t believe he thought I was going to set him on fire over it. I still can’t believe he thought I’d care.
13.) I did set him on fire, though, another time. But that was an accident, no matter what he’s told you. I was NOT still angry about the frog he’d left in my bed, I did NOT have my knickers in a twist because he’d told Lily I was a raging maniac and couldn’t be helped by man or beast, and I do NOT, as a rule, set people on fire when I am annoyed with them. Often. Anymore.
14.) When he realized he liked Remus he spent a really upsetting amount of time not paying attention to me. Which, I can understand romance as well as the next man, you’ll notice I found myself a feisty redhead, but fucking hell, there is only so much hair cream a man can buy, no matter how Noble and Ancient his coffers.
15.) When he realized Remus liked him back they both spent a really upsetting amount of time making DISGUSTING NOISES in the bed next to mine. It is a punishment I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, listening to your mates going at it. And if he tells you he put up Silencing Charms, he is lying, because he is a lying liar.
16.) The thing with his family—that was really awful. He played it off and I let him, because I knew it was what he wanted, but Merlin. When he first showed up at my door I thought he’d killed someone, he was that miserable.
17.) Wasn’t as bad as the thing with Moony, though. When he told Snape? I thought he was going to kill himself that time, don’t tell him I said that. And then Moony punched him and Wormtail prattled on about—
18.) Fucking Wormtail, Merlin, I nearly forgot. That wasn’t Sirius’ fault either, but no matter how many times I tell him that, he won’t believe me. He’s always been like that—he doesn’t feel guilty about much, but when he does, he really does.
19.) I always, always, always meant for him to have Harry if anything happened to us. Lily did too. Sirius is a stupid shit sometimes but he would have been great; I wish everyday that things had happened differently, for my son’s sake as much as his own.
20.) Sirius Black—no matter what anyone’s said about him, no matter how many times he hung me from the rafters by my underwear first year, no matter how stupid he always has been and always will be—Sirius Black is the best friend any man has ever had, and make no mistake.
Aaaand I did one of those 20 Random Things memes as a writing exercise yesterday, because I couldn't get James' voice right. And here it is, because I feel guilty about how long this stupid fic is taking me to finish. Happy *insert winter celebration here*, everyone!
Title: 20 Random Facts About Sirius Black (As Told By James Potter)
Rating: PG-13? Some discussion of tequila and nipples, some swearing.
Summary: No, you can't have a summary. It's a 20 things meme! This would have to read "Summary: James Potter says 20 random things about Sirius Black," and you guys are smart enough to figure that out from the very creative title.
20 Random Facts About Sirius Black
(As told by James Potter)
1.) Sirius—and don’t tell him I know about this—used to sing to Harry when he thought I wasn’t around. Never nursery rhymes, either…Sinatra, the Beatles, The Who. I’ve never seen him smile so big as he did when Harry sang “too raa loo raa” to his “Come on Eileen.”
2.) Oh, I tell a lie. I’ve seen him smile like that once before, but there may have been some tequila involved. Possibly some snogging. Maybe my left nipple…but I don’t remember! And I don’t want to talk about it! And it didn’t happen! But if it had happened, Sirius would have been smiling pretty big. It didn’t, though. That’s all I’m saying.
3.) He gardens, Sirius does. He was bloody tops in Herbology, and he helped Lily with the tomatoes last summer, and he has a windowbox. With flowers in. I don’t really know where we went wrong.
4.) That thing in fourth year with the ceiling and McGonagall’s underwear was my idea, but he took the detention anyway.
5.) That thing in fifth year with the third floor corridor and McGonagall’s underwear was his idea, and I don’t care what anyone says.
6.) He’s never liked chips, but he orders heaps of them, because his mother told him they were “nasty, common food” when he was about seven. Usually he makes me eat them.
7.) When he was fifteen, he kissed Lily under the mistletoe on Christmas. “She was just there,” he explained to Remus later, when they thought I was asleep. “I wasn’t even thinking about it. I’m such a berk.”
8.) He still worries I’ll find out and hate him for it. STILL. He’s really a very unstable man, our Sirius.
9.) He can never find his footing when he’s drunk. Not. Ever. As the person who always has to catch him when he falls down the stairs and lands on my fucking face, I am more than qualified to make this statement.
10.) Sirius thinks—and always has, I might add—that all the girls think he’s just dashing. I’ve tried to convince him otherwise, but his ego is both untouched and, I suspect, untouchable.
11.) I’ve suspected he was gay since our third year; he’d get all weird in the Quidditch showers. I didn’t say anything until fifth year, and then I asked him about it. He'd kissed Lily, after all; I had to be sure. He punched me. In the face. In the fucking face, like it wouldn’t suffer enough damage from him over the years. Bastard.
12.) But then he wept like a little girl and confessed his big gay secret and it was HILARIOUS, though of course I was a good friend and patted his back and didn’t laugh at the time. I still can’t believe he thought I was going to set him on fire over it. I still can’t believe he thought I’d care.
13.) I did set him on fire, though, another time. But that was an accident, no matter what he’s told you. I was NOT still angry about the frog he’d left in my bed, I did NOT have my knickers in a twist because he’d told Lily I was a raging maniac and couldn’t be helped by man or beast, and I do NOT, as a rule, set people on fire when I am annoyed with them. Often. Anymore.
14.) When he realized he liked Remus he spent a really upsetting amount of time not paying attention to me. Which, I can understand romance as well as the next man, you’ll notice I found myself a feisty redhead, but fucking hell, there is only so much hair cream a man can buy, no matter how Noble and Ancient his coffers.
15.) When he realized Remus liked him back they both spent a really upsetting amount of time making DISGUSTING NOISES in the bed next to mine. It is a punishment I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, listening to your mates going at it. And if he tells you he put up Silencing Charms, he is lying, because he is a lying liar.
16.) The thing with his family—that was really awful. He played it off and I let him, because I knew it was what he wanted, but Merlin. When he first showed up at my door I thought he’d killed someone, he was that miserable.
17.) Wasn’t as bad as the thing with Moony, though. When he told Snape? I thought he was going to kill himself that time, don’t tell him I said that. And then Moony punched him and Wormtail prattled on about—
18.) Fucking Wormtail, Merlin, I nearly forgot. That wasn’t Sirius’ fault either, but no matter how many times I tell him that, he won’t believe me. He’s always been like that—he doesn’t feel guilty about much, but when he does, he really does.
19.) I always, always, always meant for him to have Harry if anything happened to us. Lily did too. Sirius is a stupid shit sometimes but he would have been great; I wish everyday that things had happened differently, for my son’s sake as much as his own.
20.) Sirius Black—no matter what anyone’s said about him, no matter how many times he hung me from the rafters by my underwear first year, no matter how stupid he always has been and always will be—Sirius Black is the best friend any man has ever had, and make no mistake.
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Also, that icon? Hysterical.
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Am I crazy to imagine based on #18 that James is talking from the afterlife where Sirius has joined him??
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No, not at all, that's how I was imaging it as I wrote it :D
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*desolate weeping*