gyzym: (T.Hard w/ cig and skepticism)
Ahahaha, fixed my internet, and then [livejournal.com profile] rrrowr did me a solid (THANK YOU RO THANK YOU RO OH MY GOD THANK YOU) and then I was all, what do you want? And she was all, Arthur/Eames wallsex! And for whatever reason, though I've been blocked on these two for seriously months and months and fucking months, this actually happened. I don't know if/when it will happen again, and my sincere apologies if it's not for awhile--I SWEAR TO GOD I'M TRYING WITH THESE TWO, THEY JUST. Oh man, when they don't talk to me they really do not say a fucking WORD, I don't know what to do with them.

So, uh, right, here's 1500 words of drunk Arthur/Eames established-relationship-ish kind of size kinky PWP? Like, seriously, PWP, and also glossing over the whole most-drunk-people-have-trouble-getting-hard-thing and oh, god, I don't even know, you guys. My apologies for the errors that are probably herein, this is an insomnia fic, and also for the terrible title, and also for the fact that after months of nothing on this front what came out is...this. Augh I don't even I'm going to go try to sleep now RO I LOVE YOU THANK YOU AGAIN.

Dangerous When Loaded, 1500 words, Arthur/Eames, NC-17 )
gyzym: (RAWR)
Okay, um, so, apparently GoogleDocs has made some changes they were kind enough not to mention to me! According to [livejournal.com profile] iambickilometer, some people have been getting the option to view docs in the old version or this new version, but I haven't been getting that message, and neither have a number of the other folks I've been PANICKING AT calmly and rationally discussing this with on tumblr. [livejournal.com profile] shadesofbrixton has pointed out that if you use this link, you can create a new doc in the old version, but a) it's probably a temporary fix and b) it's not really any good for the docs you've already got in existence, as in copy/pasting the contents you lose any changes/comments/etc made within. Which is, you know, THE ENTIRE FUCKING POINT OF GOOGLEDOCS.

The change I have noticed/been freaking out about is the fact that there are now fucking pagebreaks in my docs. You can kind of get rid of them by switching to what's called compact view, but there are still dotted gray lines indicating pagination. If you're a normal person, this probably isn't a big deal--if you're like me, and avoid working in documents that give you a pagecount because it makes you anxious and self-judgmental, YOU APPEAR TO BE SHIT OUT OF LUCK.

Anyway, point of post being: this is happening, GoogleDocs is different, and it wasn't announced anywhere that I heard about it, so I figured I'd let you guys know. If you come across any other changes to the interface, or--please please please--a fix for the page thing, please leave them in the comments for reference? And, yeah, okay, I'm going to go back to trying not to freak out about this now.

In conclusion: Danny still hearts Steve, so it's not all bad. But boo, GoogleDocs. Very much boo.
gyzym: (Facepalm (Steve))
Right, so, yesterday--WAS IT ONLY YESTERDAY, JESUS CHRIST, I FEEL LIKE TUMBLR IS A TIME VORTEX AND YOU WANDER IN AND NEVER LEAVE--[livejournal.com profile] arineat was like, I feel like drawing rooster Steve and rooster Danny! And I was like PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DO THAT I WILL WRITE YOU A FICLET, and SHE DID OH MY GOD :D :D :D. (AND THEN SHE GOT ME A SNAIL BECAUSE SHE IS THE BEST PERSON EVER.)

And then I wrote...uh...this, which is not about Danny and Steve as roosters so much as about domesticity and dreams and bad puns and Steve being a failboat. I don't even know. THIS IS NOT REAL FIC, SORRY RINNY, YOU DESERVE BETTER, I HOPE YOU ARE NOT TOO APPALLED AT ME FOR THIS.

this ficlet does not deserve a title, but if it was going to get one, it would be [PLEASE INSERT YOUR FAVORITE COCK JOKE HERE] )
gyzym: (Matches)
Okay, internet, HI, HELLO, I APOLOGIZE FOR MY ABSENCE TODAY. I have emails I need to answer and comments full of awesome that I haven't replied to and I don't really have any defense for myself except for that I got. Er. I got...idea-fied, this thing, my brain, sometimes I get ideas and I fall in love and they eat me and I'm not talking about it because I'll jinx it but just, with the handwaving and the general insanity and the not having the focus for anything other than, you know. Meandering. Story. Things.

MY POINT BEING: SORRY, I SUCK, ALL OF THE THINGS, TOMORROW, I WILL DO THEM. Probably when I have less of a headache.

If you want assurance of the fact that I was completely out of it today, here are some things that happened, all of which make it clear that it is give-up-on-today time, which I will be doing promptly after I hit post:

1) Weeks ago [livejournal.com profile] sorrynotsorry (SUPREMELY AWESOME BEING THAT SHE IS) found and brought to me some hazelnut chocolate spread that didn't have dairy in it, because I am allergic to dairy and have thus missed out on Nutella my whole life, and my bitterness over that fact, it was deep, it was so deep. And I LOST IT, I LOST THE AWESOME PACKETS FULL OF GOODNESS BEFORE I COULD TRY THEM, and then today I found them again and, mid-paroxysms of glee over HOLY FUCK NUTELLA IS DELICIOUS, I tripped over my dog and fell. And landed. On the ground. With my face. In the piece of Nutella toast.

2) I absentmindedly started a tumblr that has no things in it because I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW HOW TO USE TUMBLR, I don't even know how I ended up on the setup screen, I just kind of clicked some things, it was like highway blindness, and then I blinked and had a tumblr. Here is what I have done with it so far: stared at the "Maybe you should try posting something!" screen. Closed the tab.

3) Had a Danny Williams moment involving rage over the instructions "Tear here" on a tape dispenser to the point that I actually took a photo on my iPhone to post because WHAT IDIOT DOESN'T KNOW TO THAT YOU NEED TO TEAR TAPE, WHAT KIND OF DIRECTION EVEN IS THAT, made angry noises about it to everyone near me, and then realized that it was just the clear tape dispenser sitting on top of something else that said "tear here." Felt like an asshole.

4) SOMEHOW MANAGED TO FLING A BRA OUT OF MY LAUNDRY AND INTO A LARGE STACK OF PLASTIC CUPS, WHICH ARE NOW EVERYWHERE.

5) On finding a mysterious football diorama of unknown origin in the supply closet of the...law firm...where I work (DON'T ASK, IT'S A MYSTERY), and while overcome with various story ideas and too confused by the diorama's existence to actually engage my brain-to-mouth filter:

BossLady: What is that?
Me: I have no idea, what the hell.
BossLady: How did it get in here? Who would leave that here? Why would that be at a law firm?
Me: I think we should put a Post-It on it that says 42.
BossLady: ...why?
Me: Because obviously it's the answer to life, the universe, and everything, what else could it be?
BossLady: Was that supposed to make it clearer for me?
Me: MAYBE IT'S A VERY SMALL PORTAL TO NARNIA
gyzym: (Cardinal (Ohio))
RIGHT SO FIRST: INCEPTION FEN. INCEPTION FEN. LISTEN UP.

Okay, I know I rec [livejournal.com profile] wheres_walnut's art like, all the fucking time, like every time she posts art, I know I do that, I really do. I AM AWARE. But the thing is I do it because it is, every time, blow the fuck away good, and oh my god, you guys. She is doing an art WIP (an ART WIP!!!) over at the kinkmeme where Arthur & Eames are fellow commuters on the Metro North and, you guys, Jesus Christ. Look, I know fuck-all about art aside from WOW THAT'S SO GORGEOUS DJHASFJKSDF but the thing I always love love love about Walnut's art is how goddamn real it feels, her use of color to set the mood, this vivid expansive beyond-what-I-can-articulate scene she manages to build. Even if you are not in Inception fandom and this, to you, would be two random dudes on a train, GO LOOK. THEY WILL BE THE MOST BREATHTAKING TWO DUDES ON A TRAIN YOU'VE EVER SEEN.

/embarrassing Walnut (SORRY NUT, I CANNOT CONTAIN MY LOVE AT ALL).

And, ahahaha, okay, second: so, when I first started posting fanfiction, I said to myself, "Jizz. Jizz. You can feel free to pound out whatever nonsense you like, so long as--and this is very important--you never write fic set in or around Cleveland, Ohio." This is for a lot of reasons, the predominant one being that I grew up/live here and thus have deep fear of self insert, though there's also the fear that my unlikely but undeniable love for this place will grip me so furiously that I'll never be able to set anything anywhere else ever again. Whatever the reason, "Don't write fic about Ohio" has been the "TOUCH NOTHING BUT THE LAMP" of my fanfiction career, and I have observed the rule faithfully.

But, see, tonight [livejournal.com profile] sheafrotherdon posted this vid about Michigan and, because I grew up in Ohio, Michigan makes me think of University of Michigan makes me think of Muck Fichigan makes me think of the Ohio State Buckeyes makes me think of buckeye candy makes me think of my childhood makes me think of home, and so my brain...went there. It went there, and to continue the Aladdin analogy this idea is like that giant ruby and I am Abu and somewhere my common sense is screaming NO YOU ASSHOLE TOUCH NOTHING BUT THE LAMP DO NOT WRITE FIC ABOUT OHIO, but I. I can't help myself.


What is happening to me right now. For serious.


So under the cut are some random context-free snippets of Danny and Steve in Northeast Ohio because of [plot device I haven't worked out], in the hopes that it will get the fuck out of my system. This is not fanfiction, it is 1500 words of fucking about on the internet. THAT'S TOTALLY DIFFERENT. I'M NOT TOUCHING THE LAMP. IF I DON'T GIVE IT A TITLE IT'S NOT REAL. Oh god.

Pumpkin picking, a Browns game, a sleepy drive, a thunderstorm, and a cardinal. )
gyzym: (John Stewart facepalm)
I wish there was a better way to explain what's going on under the cut then "[livejournal.com profile] hermette humors/encourages me while I make horrible jokes about Watergate, All The President's Men, and Deep Throat." I wish that so much.

But. Uh. There's not. )
gyzym: (Steve/Danny :D :D :D)
Okay, so, apparently when I said "goddamn it Hawaii 5-0 you are a terrible show and I refuse to submit to your wiles aside from this one teeny tiny fic" I meant "I'm going to write a 19,000 word story with a plot device stolen from the movie The Family Man, which is a film I would have loathed even if it didn't feature Nicholas 'Ew Ew Ew' Cage!"

Also, I spent two days listening to my entire collection of Springsteen in trying to find the right title for this, only to realize it was a line from Thunder Road. Which I purposefully skipped over because I assumed I knew it well enough not to bother checking it. Yeah, I don't know what's wrong with me either.

Title: Don't Turn Me Home Again
Pairing: Steve/Danny [Danny/Rachel]
Rating: NC-17
Wordcount: 18,984
Summary: After a rough day of island living, Danny wakes up in New Jersey and learns the hard way to be careful what he wishes for.
Author's Note: A MILLION THANKS to both [livejournal.com profile] angelgazing and [livejournal.com profile] dremiel, my readers and sounding-boards for this story. YOU HAVE BOTH BEEN INVALUABLE ♥ ♥ ♥

Don't Turn Me Home Again [1/2] )
gyzym: (AREDBLUSH DREW STEVE/DANNY)
RIGHT, SO THIS IS A POST CONTAINING STUFF AND THINGS BUT NO TERRIBLE SOUTH PARK JOKES? Sorry about that; I crack myself up at 3 in the morning. Mostly I'm trying to distract myself from the Hawaii 5-0 fic that is going to get finished tomorrow instead of tonight, because it's 15K already and the penultimate scene is like, the most important in the whole story, but my brain is too fried to write it properly right now.

So, first I have a rec, and that is: Don't Carry It All, by [livejournal.com profile] passe_simple/[livejournal.com profile] harriet_vane. It's...okay, wait a second guys, hear me out...it's Jesse Eisenberg/Andrew Garfield. As in, it's TSN RPS. BUT IT'S AN AU! AND IT DOESN'T...oh my god, you guys, this is seriously one of the best stories I have read in years, and I do not read in this fandom or have any interest in it AT ALL. It just, it reads exactly like original fiction, because really in many ways it is original fiction. Basically Jesse and Andrew are just regular guys and not celebrities, and they meet through eHarmony and it's just this gorgeous heartwrenchingly human story of two people falling in love despite (and kind of because of) their neuroses, and how easy it is to fuck something up in trying your hardest and just, god. Really, really worth the read, guys. Really a lot.

Secondly, [livejournal.com profile] angelgazing, queen of my heart and all things brilliant, is HOSTING A MOTHERFUCKING HAWAII 5-0 CLICHE MEME. Fly over there as fast as your typing fingers can carry you, because, oh my god, all of the cliches are the best cliches, especially on a show where the leads are CANONICALLY FAKE MARRIED ♥ ♥ ♥

Thirdly, I have...um. Okay, so, sometimes [livejournal.com profile] two_if_by_sea and I bring out the worst in each other, right, and she linked me to this website you guys ALL HAVE TO GO TO called Better Book Titles. They give books better titles. It is the most hilarious thing of all time. NO, REALLY, LOOK:



BASICALLY, I SPENT LIKE AN HOUR TONIGHT LAUGHING UNTIL I CRIED. And when I, er, read the whole thing and got to the end we started retitling books ourselves because sometimes we're pretentious lit-nerd assholes? OR AT LEAST I AM, I CANNOT SPEAK FOR CATHY, SHE IS IN FACT A PEACH AND THIS IS NOT HER FAULT. And anyway, long story short, it somehow got around to plotting fucked up Nancy Drew porn and then I had to share it with everyone because there really is something wrong in my brain.

No, really, this conversation does get around to creepy Nancy Drew porn, kind of, ish )
gyzym: (Open road)
Ahahahaha oh my god, it's a WIP titles meme, totally ganked from [livejournal.com profile] sorrynotsorry et al. THIS SAYS A LOT ABOUT MY WRITING PROCESS: to wit, that it is a mess. These are actual titles of actual documents, and I actually know what (almost) all of them mean. Also, enough of them contain parentheses--in the RIDICULOUS DOC TITLES THAT ARE NOT ACTUALLY FIC TITLES--that I had to differentiate my comments by putting them in brackets. In conclusion, fml fml fml.

Seriously, this is solid proof that I'm out of my mind )

TO SUM UP: run from me now, I am obviously not good for anyone's health, least of all my own, and oh god please do not hold me to producing any of these, the end.
gyzym: (RAWR)
GUYS. GUYS. I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF DOING SOMETHING BUT [livejournal.com profile] onthecount LINKED ME TO THIS AND I NEED YOUR THOUGHTS:



CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHY ANYONE WOULD BE INTERESTED IN LIVING LIKE THIS!??!!? I mean, it's gorgeous architecturally, don't get me wrong, but what if you came home drunk with a significant other/fuck buddy/hot & willing stranger and forgot to close the giant curtain?!?!? What if you were running late and came out of the shower and forgot the curtain was open and found SOME KID ON A BIKE LIKE THAT KID IN THE INCREDIBLES GETTING A TRAUMATIZING EYEFUL OF YOUR LADYPARTS/MANBITS?

WHAT IF YOUR MOTHER DROVE BY, LOOKED INTO YOUR HOME, AND CALLED YOU TO TELL YOU THAT YOU NEED TO CLEAN MORE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

*CLINGS TO PRIVACY IN ABSOLUTE HORROR*
gyzym: (Default)
Right, so, in order for me to tell you this story, there are three things you need to know about me.

1) I wear sunglasses constantly, large ones that cover the top of my face. Jackie-O sunglasses, if you will. The size of them is half a fashion choice and half because I'm prone to migraines that are triggered by side-light exposure; the fact that I wear them constantly is a tic I inherited from my father. It does not have to be sunny for me to be wearing sunglasses. It doesn't even have to be threatening sunshine. Sun does not factor in the equation at all. As a general rule, I am in sunglasses if (a) I am outdoors and (b) it is day. I CAN'T HELP IT, GUYS. I NEED THEM TO LIVE.

2) The house that I live in at the moment has a number of fabulous amenities, but the driveway is not one of them. It is long. It is thin. It is raised about an inch off the beds of soft grass that surround it. This would be entirely acceptable if I lived somewhere like Arizona, or Florida, or even Kentucky--warm or warmish places, places where the sky does not open up and spit down ridiculous amounts of snow every two days or so. In Cleveland, where the average yearly snowfall is FIFTY SIX INCHES, this driveway is not acceptable. It is, in fact, unacceptable. Whoever made the executive decision to build it in this way should, in my humble and admittedly biased opinion, be taken out back and shot.

3) I am sure, somewhere out there in the wide wide world, there are women who weep daintily into their handkerchiefs at entirely appropriate moments, retaining both their dignity and class while doing so. I am equally sure that there are women who, while they might not be dainty about it, cry only when acceptable circumstance demands it--when they are sad, for example, or perhaps deeply and unutterably horrified. I, because I've never found a convention I couldn't merrily if accidentally flout, cry only in one circumstance: when I am hideously, furiously, stab-someone-in-the-face pissed off.

SO, NOW THAT YOU KNOW THESE THINGS ABOUT ME, ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU ABOUT MY AFTERNOON.

I made the cardinal error of deciding to leave my home--I know, I know, what was I thinking, how dare I tempt the universe in such a way, I'M SO TERRIBLE--to run a quick errand. I pulled on my boots and my jacket and my little scarf, I slid my trusty sunglasses onto my face (state of sunshine: non-existent), and I went out to my car.

Me: Okay, car, hello, lovely to see you, let's just back down the driveway nice and easy to get to the road, yes?
Car: WHERE WE'RE GOING, WE DON'T NEED ROADS.
Me: But we're going to...the gas station...
Car: NO, WE'RE GOING TO THE EDGE OF THE DRIVEWAY AND SLIDING INTO THE SNOW.
Me: I'm sorry, car, but *I* am in control of the vehicle, so I think that in fact we are going to just back down nice and easy and...slip on the ice and...GODDAMN IT CAR I HATE WHEN YOU ARE RIGHT.
Car: Well, maybe next time you should appreciate my Back to the Future references, I am just saying.

At this point I decided that my car was not worth listening to, and began the process of trying to rock it back and forth out of the snowbank. Which, generally, works. THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME I HAVE BEEN STUCK IN THE SNOW, because I've been driving for five years and living in Cleveland for most of that. I am, by and large, pretty skilled as a snow driver.

However, some days are just motherfuckers.

Me: C'mon, baby, please, please, please, please--
Car: What is this, one of your ridiculous fanfictions? TALKING DIRTY TO ME WILL GET YOU NOWHERE.
Me: It's been half a fucking hour, there's only so long I can fucking do this--
Car: That's what your mother said last night!
Me: FUCK YOU YOU MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF FILTHY FUCKING SHIT FUCK YOU AND FUCK THE FACTORY YOU WERE BUILT IN AND FUCK EVERY ROAD YOU'VE EVER DRIVEN ON AND EVERY TIRE YOU'VE EVER TOUCHED YOU EVIL GUS-GUZZLING MOTHERFUCKING WHORE.

Please note, while most of this dialogue between me and my car has been fabricated for obvious reasons (this just in: cars don't talk), that last thing actually came out of my mouth. At a volume decidedly higher than was acceptable. Additionally, by this point I was so angry that I had, in fact, started crying, which only exacerbated my rage, and as such only increased my volume, and as I was screaming and revving the engine uselessly and pounding on the steering wheel like a crazy person...

...a kind stranger willing to help me out knocked on my window.

NOW, LIVEJOURNAL, UPSETTINGLY ENOUGH, THIS IS NOT THE MOST EMBARRASSING THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME IN MY DRIVEWAY. That award still goes to the time my neighbor caught me outside at 3 in the afternoon on a Sunday, wearing a robe and tie-dye pants tucked into white Ugg boots, smoking a cigarette and drinking cranberry juice out of a wine glass because the dishwasher contained all my other drinkware. In an attempt to assure her that I was not so much of a lush as I seemed, I hastily said "Oh, no, it's totally okay, this was just the biggest cup I could find!" This...did not endear her to my cause.

However, despite it being only the second-most embarrassing thing to ever have occurred in my driveway, it was still HIDEOUSLY OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK MORTIFYING. By all right this guy should have taken one look at me, said "EGADS, WHAT ON EARTH IS THAT, WITH HER PUFFY FACE AND HER INAPPROPRIATE-FOR-THE-WEATHER GIANT SUNGLASSES AND HER FOULLY SHRIEKING MOUTH," and headed directly for the hills. But this stranger--who didn't give me his name, just flitted in and out of my day to assist me and was gone before I could thank him--this stranger did not do that. Instead he spent fifteen minutes of his time pushing my car out of the rut and setting me free.

SO, today's tales of my tragically ridiculous life are brought to you by the letter A, the number 2, and the concept of paying it forward. BE KIND UNTO STRANGERS, GUYS, EVEN CRAZY ONES. Because sometimes, sometimes, crazy people are just girls like me, who can't help that their car is a gas-guzzling whore.

Or, if you're not willing to do that, then at very least consider looking into upgrading your plow service.

gyzym: (SANDROCK'S COFFEESHOP ART)
BUT PUPPY ARTHUR HAS ONE THING TO SAY, AND THAT'S:

gyzym: (Sleepy!Arthur)
Oh, livejournal. I am hungover like I've never been hungover in my life, and I did the walk of shame this morning like the classy, classy bitch I am, the result of a not-exactly-poor decision following several Long Islands and a whole bottle of champagne last night. I find it deeply hilarious that even for consequence-free out-of-town one night stands I end up finding the one cute computer science nerd in the bar. He had two solved Rubik's cubes in his apartment! Two solved Rubik's cubes and the courtesy to allow me to leave without pushing too hard for my number/cuddling/any number of other horrifying touchy-feely time wasting things. HAPPY NEW YEAR, INDEED :D

IN OTHER NEWS, I wrote Yuletide fic. I thought about writing many Yuletide fics, but in the end I only wrote one: you've got the ways and means to make it alright, for the movie The Brothers Bloom, which everyone should see. It's mostly Bloom & Stephen gen, with a little spot of Bloom/Penelope. It was...a lot of fun to write, if only because I love those characters so impossibly.

Okay, that's pretty much exhausted my coherent sentence forming ability. I'm drink another bottle of water and maybe watch some 30 Rock until my host (the best gay boyfriend in all the world, I THINK HE NEEDS A NAME AS WELL for when I actually recount this weekend, I'll think on that) returns from the home of that incredibly cute guy he pulled last night. How was everyone's New Year's? DEEPLY AWESOME, I HOPE :D
gyzym: (Road!)
Hawaii Five-0. I am enjoying it, I really am, but I have to put it out there, just visually....



REMINDS ME AN AWFUL LOT OF



I CAN'T BE THE ONLY ONE WHO SEES THIS.
gyzym: (T.Hard w/ cig and skepticism)
First of all, MERRY/HAPPY, EVERYONE! Even for those of us for whom today is just a Saturday, albeit a Saturday when none of the stores are open :D

I was debating making a post about Chinese food and my family, but I have decided against it, largely because I had breakfast with my grandfather and my father and Burro&Burrito this morning, and it was literally SO MUCH LIKE AN EPISODE OF CURB THAT I HAD TO PINCH MYSELF. I can't even bear to relate it. There was arguing. And a few badly-landed penis jokes. And arguing. And a poor, hapless waiter who visibly regretted being employed at a Jewish deli. We tipped him heavily, but I doubt it eased the pain of having to listen to us very much.

Also also also someone wrote me an incredible Westing Game story for Yuletide!!! A Game of You, Theo/Turtle, and it's just excellent. EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER READ THE WESTING GAME SHOULD READ IT AT ONCE.

Now I am going to eat a piece of the amazing parve dobos tort the local Jewish bakery (ALSO OPEN CHRISTMAS DAY OH MY GOD BEST DISCOVERY OF MY LIFE) handily provided me this morning, and maybe take the plunge and watch the pilot of Hawaii 5-0, if I can find somewhere to...procure...it.

But first, a conversation about nothing at all that needs to be preserved for posterity anyway, even if it does make both me and Cathy sound more than a little bit like Pretentious Hipster Nerds....

Jonathan Frazen, Jonathan Safran Foer, and David Sedaris walk into a bar )
gyzym: (Arthur's on a beach)
HELLO HELLO INTERWEBS.

I apologize for being a little MIA, shit has been busy etc etc holiday parties etc etc limited time etc etc OMG YULETIDE all of things etc etc etc etc. I have a lot of things to say! But, first and foremost, I would like to let everyone know that (drumroll please):

I HAVE NAMED MY BROTHERS.

Yes, it's true, everyone clap, I know you are as thrilled as I am about this. AND EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT, I am deeply relieved not to have to keep typing out "the nineteen year old" and "the eleven year old" every six seconds. And I guess I should probably...tell you...the names. So, uh, basically what happened is [livejournal.com profile] two_if_by_sea suggested I call one of them Donkey Punch because she's hilarious and horrifying and stuff, and then that mutated into:

Burro Punch/Burro: My 19-year-old frat boy brother
Burrito Punch/Burrito: My 11-year-old sixth grade brother

You know, because burro means...donkey and "ito" is an...affectionate diminutive...okay anyway HURRAY FOR CATHY! I will probably mostly be calling them Burro and Burrito, TBH :D BUT AT LEAST THEY ARE NAMED NOW.

Speaking of my brothers, the other night Burro and I got high and he unwittingly outlined a hilarious Inception fic with me. )

So, you know, that was the best ten minutes of my life.

And now, because it's been ages since I posted fic and I feel legit bad about that (although I am working on things I swear I am) here is a WIP dump!

1200 words of unfinished top!Arthur PWP )

2,000 words of...um, drunk blowjob porn )

That coffeeshop AU drabble that I posted on Nellie's AU thinger awhile back )

And a coffeeshop AU drabble never before seen by the internet )

Will these coffeeshop scenes make it into the coffeeshop sequel? Er, maybe. Which brings up the question: is there going to be a coffeeshop sequel? Er...probably. BUT I DON'T KNOW WHEN, GUYS, IT MIGHT BE MONTHS FROM NOW, DON'T HOLD ME TO ANYTHING, OKAY?

Also I'm working on this other thing. I'll tell you guys about it soon, when it's done. For now, I have a Yuletide to write (oh god) and nails to paint and, hopefully, coffee to drink. HAPPY SATURDAY, GUYS :D
gyzym: (A&E)
THIS STORY IS FUCKING DONE NOW JESUS CHRIST. Part One can be found here.

Title: we were once cinema gods in the night [2/2]
Pairing: Arthur/Eames
Rating: R
Wordcount: 10,556 (this part)/~21,000 (full story)
Warnings: Discussion of past drug use, generally appalling language, canon character death
Summary: That's the thing about Hollywood--everyone has a Hollywood story.

we were once cinema gods in the night [2/2] )

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