gyzym: (Feather heart)
FOLLOWING A VERY FRIGHTENING FIVE MINUTES IN WHICH I THOUGHT MY LIVEJOURNAL WAS GONE (it was very frightening, you guys, but eye-opening!) I am importing all my content to Dreamwidth as a backup. I'm not transferring over there permanently, though I may start crossposting, but like. WHAT IF I LOST THE INSPIRATION MEMES AND THE INSOMNIA FICS WHAT WOULD I EVEN DO.

Point being: I have no idea how DW works, with "access" and "circles" and all these other things--I'm sure it's awesome, but I don't know how it goes. So if you get a notification from me over there (same name as here), rest assured I didn't know what I was doing and/or the system did it for me. Unless it's an awesome notification, in which case it was totally me.

SORRY GUYS. I WARNED YOU. IT'S HOUSEKEEPING WEEKEND AT THE CASA DE JIZZ.
gyzym: (Rainbow balloons!)
Uh, what it says on the tin?

Well, no, wait. The truth is, I hesitate to use the word "essay," because that implies some modicum of vague professionalism, and, as you guys know, that is not my wont. In actuality this is a tl;dr word vomit on the topic of bisexuality, because sometimes I just want to talk about things! There wasn't an incident that provoked this, really--I saw a couple things on tumblr that made me go buh?, I've had a couple of RL conversations lately that made me go Really?, so here this is.

As always, the following things are true:
1) I am just a girl on the internet with a lot of feelings, and I don't claim to know shit about shit.
2) This is written from my perspective, dealing with my experiences as an American, cigendered bisexual woman. They're not the same as everyone else's! They're not the same as anyone else's, come to that; every human experience is unique, and no two people feel/act on/deal with things the exact same way.
3) If I have inadvertently offended someone, I apologize profusely, that was not my intention! Let me know and we'll talk about fixing it. ♥

All that said: Bisexuality: One of Those Things No One Should Let Me Get Started Talking About )
gyzym: (T.Hard w/ cig and skepticism)
Ahahaha, fixed my internet, and then [livejournal.com profile] rrrowr did me a solid (THANK YOU RO THANK YOU RO OH MY GOD THANK YOU) and then I was all, what do you want? And she was all, Arthur/Eames wallsex! And for whatever reason, though I've been blocked on these two for seriously months and months and fucking months, this actually happened. I don't know if/when it will happen again, and my sincere apologies if it's not for awhile--I SWEAR TO GOD I'M TRYING WITH THESE TWO, THEY JUST. Oh man, when they don't talk to me they really do not say a fucking WORD, I don't know what to do with them.

So, uh, right, here's 1500 words of drunk Arthur/Eames established-relationship-ish kind of size kinky PWP? Like, seriously, PWP, and also glossing over the whole most-drunk-people-have-trouble-getting-hard-thing and oh, god, I don't even know, you guys. My apologies for the errors that are probably herein, this is an insomnia fic, and also for the terrible title, and also for the fact that after months of nothing on this front what came out is...this. Augh I don't even I'm going to go try to sleep now RO I LOVE YOU THANK YOU AGAIN.

Dangerous When Loaded, 1500 words, Arthur/Eames, NC-17 )
gyzym: (Doggy headphones)
So, this is sort of a Steve/Danny fanmix, except not really, because it doesn't really have a cohesive theme or anything. It's more "here are some songs, some angsty, some ridiculously sappy, some random, that I've been listening to when thinking about Steve and Danny." I didn't do the thing where I write little blurbs for each one because I am tired, yo; I didn't give it a title because it didn't deserve one.

HOORAY, MUSIC, HERE WE GO.

One of these days I'll control my urge to share music with everyone. Today is not that day. )
gyzym: (Lady in white)
jsfhdsf TODAY IS NOT GOING THE WAY IT WAS SUPPOSED TO, because djfhdjskf my family and dsfjhdsfhs oversleeping and sfhdjfdskf THIS REALLY BIZARRE DREAM WHERE I WAS DATING THE HOTTEST GIRL IN THE HISTORY OF TIME FOR LIKE, A YEAR, AND THEN I TURNED AROUND ONE DAY AND SHE WAS A GIANT MONSTER, LIKE SERIOUSLY, SO GIANT, SO MANY ANGRY TEETH, SHE CHASED ME AND TRIED TO EAT ME AND NOT IN A FUN WAY, I THINK MAYBE SOMEONE WAS TRYING TO RUN AN EXTRACTION ON ME. I have so many things to write and so many things to edit and I will be back for real to do all that in an hour or two, this is a driveby post to share a couple of things:

1. via [livejournal.com profile] iamspace:



MOSTLY FOR ALEX'S SMILEY FACE WITH THE GUITAR ABOUT HALFWAY THROUGH. ALSO SCOTTY'S "HEY I AM ON MY PHONE RAWR I AM SUCH AN ADORABLE GRUMPYFACED ASSHOLE" FACE. ALSO GRACE PARK. ALSO DDK. BUT MOSTLY ALEX'S SMILEY FACE OH MY GODDDD HOW IS HE REAL.

2. So last night instead of going to bed I shut down everything except that fucking Disney princess generator! Which, what the fucking shit, why did this program do this to me.

First I did Steve and Danny as princesses: )

Then, because John and Sherlock were on the brain, I did them too: )

And then I was going to do Arthur and Eames, but, in a moment of half-asleep four AM madness, said to myself, "JIZZY, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU WROTE THAT WHOLE FIC WHERE ARTHUR WAS DISNEY PRINCESSES."

So you guys don't get to see the princess version of Eames. You do get to see every princess Arthur was in A Whole New World, though. )

THIS HAS BEEN TODAY'S EPISODE OF "WHY THE HELL DO YOU READ THIS LIVEJOURNAL, OBVIOUSLY GYZYM IS OUT OF HER MIND." Tune in next week for, uh, more of same, although hopefully with increased sleep and decreased fucking princesses. I'm off to clean all of the things and then I will be back, writing Steve/Danny words until the cows come home. I HOPE EVERYONE IS HAVING AN AWESOME SATURDAY ♥!
gyzym: (Cardinal (Ohio))
RIGHT SO FIRST: INCEPTION FEN. INCEPTION FEN. LISTEN UP.

Okay, I know I rec [livejournal.com profile] wheres_walnut's art like, all the fucking time, like every time she posts art, I know I do that, I really do. I AM AWARE. But the thing is I do it because it is, every time, blow the fuck away good, and oh my god, you guys. She is doing an art WIP (an ART WIP!!!) over at the kinkmeme where Arthur & Eames are fellow commuters on the Metro North and, you guys, Jesus Christ. Look, I know fuck-all about art aside from WOW THAT'S SO GORGEOUS DJHASFJKSDF but the thing I always love love love about Walnut's art is how goddamn real it feels, her use of color to set the mood, this vivid expansive beyond-what-I-can-articulate scene she manages to build. Even if you are not in Inception fandom and this, to you, would be two random dudes on a train, GO LOOK. THEY WILL BE THE MOST BREATHTAKING TWO DUDES ON A TRAIN YOU'VE EVER SEEN.

/embarrassing Walnut (SORRY NUT, I CANNOT CONTAIN MY LOVE AT ALL).

And, ahahaha, okay, second: so, when I first started posting fanfiction, I said to myself, "Jizz. Jizz. You can feel free to pound out whatever nonsense you like, so long as--and this is very important--you never write fic set in or around Cleveland, Ohio." This is for a lot of reasons, the predominant one being that I grew up/live here and thus have deep fear of self insert, though there's also the fear that my unlikely but undeniable love for this place will grip me so furiously that I'll never be able to set anything anywhere else ever again. Whatever the reason, "Don't write fic about Ohio" has been the "TOUCH NOTHING BUT THE LAMP" of my fanfiction career, and I have observed the rule faithfully.

But, see, tonight [livejournal.com profile] sheafrotherdon posted this vid about Michigan and, because I grew up in Ohio, Michigan makes me think of University of Michigan makes me think of Muck Fichigan makes me think of the Ohio State Buckeyes makes me think of buckeye candy makes me think of my childhood makes me think of home, and so my brain...went there. It went there, and to continue the Aladdin analogy this idea is like that giant ruby and I am Abu and somewhere my common sense is screaming NO YOU ASSHOLE TOUCH NOTHING BUT THE LAMP DO NOT WRITE FIC ABOUT OHIO, but I. I can't help myself.


What is happening to me right now. For serious.


So under the cut are some random context-free snippets of Danny and Steve in Northeast Ohio because of [plot device I haven't worked out], in the hopes that it will get the fuck out of my system. This is not fanfiction, it is 1500 words of fucking about on the internet. THAT'S TOTALLY DIFFERENT. I'M NOT TOUCHING THE LAMP. IF I DON'T GIVE IT A TITLE IT'S NOT REAL. Oh god.

Pumpkin picking, a Browns game, a sleepy drive, a thunderstorm, and a cardinal. )
gyzym: (White flower)
Fell asleep on my laptop with all my gdocs open watching South Park like a boss; woke up with this in my head. Reverse insomnia, what? I have got to stop doing this.

someday this will be titled. maybe. )
gyzym: (Default)
1. HOW IS HE REAL:

Burro: Hey, while I'm home, can you teach me to use the stove?
Me: Oh my god, you want to learn to cook?! Yes, YES, let's pick some of your favorite dishes and I'll show you how to make them--oh my god, what about the beef stew with the bacon and the red wine, you love that--
Burro: Wait, hold up--okay, I don't want to risk not getting the stew, though. You have to promise me you're still gonna make the stew, but you're just, I feel like I should stop you before you get excited. But you're still gonna make the stew if I tell you this, right?
Me: I...yes? What--
Burro: Stew is too hard. I mean like, those packages of rice, I keep buying them and I can't make them work.
Me: Packages of rice?
Burro: Yeah, you know, like with the flavors and shit! There's a chicken one and a beef one--
Me: Oh my god, those Lipton things!? Dude, there are directions on the package.
Burro: They're too hard!
Me: You just boil water and--oh my god. Oh my god, please tell me you can boil water.
Burro: Shit's harder than it looks, that's all I'm saying. You can judge me all you want, I don't care. I wear my sunglasses at night because my future's...wait, you're still making the stew, right? YOU PROMISED.

daslkdaskd I love this kid so much oh my god.

2. DFHDSJKFHDS ALMOST H50 TIME ALMOST ALMOST ALMOST, HAPPY SHOW DAY!! I am not watching until 11 EST, so if you guys could do me a massive favor and keep spoilers out of the comments until afterwards I would hugely appreciate it :D

3. Oh, right, fanfiction! That thing I came here to post. This is the Steve counterpart to the wild corners, that Danny fic I put up yesterday. 3,000 words this time, god knows why.



Title: happiness like a bullet in the back
Pairing: Steve/Danny
Rating: NC-17
Summary: It occurs to Steve, a little late, that there might be a place for him here already, one he doesn't have to eke out.

happiness like a bullet in the back )
gyzym: (John Stewart facepalm)
THE TITLE OF THIS POST IS NOT MY FAULT, OKAY, IT'S REALLY NOT.

Right, so, I almost finished the Steve counterpart to that fic I put up earlier, only then my brain crapped out and [livejournal.com profile] elrhiarhodan did this music quiz thinger where you put your iTunes on shuffle and answer questions with the songs that come up. So I did that, and got mostly hilarious results, which I then...went through and talked about...because I have this problem where I am incapable of shutting up.

You guys are going to think so much fucking less of my music taste after this. HOWEVER, the basic principals of this XKCD comic (totally and very much copyright Randall Munroe) pretty much apply here as well:



In conclusion: try to contain your disdain. I know it will be difficult.

Also, I've concluded that my iTunes actually hates me. )
gyzym: (OH STEVE)
BEFORE YOU READ THIS FIC, HERE IS AN AWESOME THING:



[livejournal.com profile] fic_kitty DID A STEVE/DANNY VID TO THE AVETT BROTHER'S SONG "I AND LOVE AND YOU." My fucking heart, you guys. Go tell her how fucking awesome she is, for serious.

In other news, here is...er, 2,000 words of plotless Steve/Danny fic that I wrote by accident this afternoon. Sometimes I fall in love with the words? I swear to god I'm working on stuff in which things, you know, actually happen. Title is from a willful mishearing of a line from the Florence & The Machine Song "Dog Days Are Over," because, whatever, I'm just like this, I don't know.

Title: the wild corners
Pairing: Steve/Danny
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Danny hovers between wakefulness and sleep and feel likes an emptied conch--worn smooth where Steve has washed over him, flush with the faint echo of all the places they've touched.

the wild corners )
gyzym: (PIRATES)
So, here are some things this story is: shameless shameless ridiculous shameless id fic; about 6500 words longer than it was supposed to be; part of the same 'verse as Curving Like the Ocean Toward You (though it can be read alone); entirely Cate and [livejournal.com profile] hermette's fault. Here are some things it is NOT: uh, claiming to be a work of genius /o\

I DON'T KNOW, GUYS, SOMETIMES SHIT JUST GETS AWAY FROM ME, THE END.

Title: Weight of Days Lost Holding You Down
Pairing: Steve/Danny
Rating: PG
Wordcount: ~7100
Author's Note: [livejournal.com profile] hermette, I blame you and I love you and I blame you and thank you so much for the incredible beta job, I cannot even. YOU ARE THE WIND BENEATH MY WINGS, OR SOMETHING. And, er, Cate, sorry I went and turned your prompt into...this whole thing...dfhdsjfk.
Summary: Steve jumps off buildings; Danny hits the wall.

Weight of Days Lost Holding You Down )
gyzym: (Default)
Pupdate: I have been chilling with the stray in my garage, staying low to the ground and chatting at her. She has gotten closer to me, but not all the way there yet. Baby steps, etc. She's adorable, you guys, thank you so much for your help, I'll keep you posted as things develop.

In other news: tomorrow I'm going to post a story that I'll have to come up with a better title for than "The one where it took me 7,000 motherfucking words to get to the scene I intended to write in the first place." It's done and everything! More or less, anyway. I just have to, you know, stuff and things at it. Polish, as it were. Make postability happen, what have you.

Until then, you get the story of that time my father thought the possum was a raccoon, and further scenes from Steve and Danny's house, this time with title! Because everything is words and nothing hurts, or something. I don't know, guys, it's two in the morning, thoughts are hard.

That Time My Father Thought The Possum Was A Raccoon:

My Father: There's a dead raccoon hanging by its tail in the garage!!!
Fourteen Year Old Me: Um. That seems unlikely.
My Father: Go see for yourself!
Fourteen Year Old Me: *sees for herself*
My Father: I told you.
Fourteen Year Old Me: Dad. What...do you think raccoons look like?
My Father: ...is it not a raccoon?
Fourteen Year Old Me: No, it's not a raccoon. It is an opossum. And it's not dead. It's playing possum.

He also labored for years under the belief that pigeons were, in fact, "grey city seagulls." I can't necessarily fault him for that, though, because they do kind of act alike.

Danny/Steve Nonsense:

dodging your fit fueled artillery )
gyzym: (I vote for porn)
Dear H50 people on my flist:

I'm in the mood to write some H50 fic, but I'm not sure what, or how much, or how long, because sometimes I have days like this where the words are not readily apparent. SO: comment, yo. Gimme prompts, yo. IDEAS, YO, I WANTS THEM.

Basic rules: I make no promises about actually writing what you've prompted, because inspiration is something I am really atrocious at forcing when it isn't already there. This is a "I'm gonna do what strikes me" kind of thing; I'd like to say I WILL FILL THE FIRST TEN PROMPTS THAT COME IN or whatever, but guys, guys, I have absolutely no control over my own brain. It's possible that I'll end up writing 25 little mini-fics; it's possible that I'll take one prompt, mean to write four sentences, and come back in two weeks with 30,000 words. THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME, OKAY, I CAN'T HELP IT.

Basic rules continued: if you look in the comments and see something you want to write, DO EET, DO EEEEEET, PLEASE DO IT, I WILL CHEERLEAD YOU SO HARD YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW. Prompt with pictures, words, quotes, scenarios, music, whatever. And no bashing--not on characters, not on each other, not on prompts, not on fills, not on other fandoms, and not on Scotty Caan's height, okay, because that man has four inches on me and it's driving me crazy and I will cut you.



Alex would like to know what you're thinking about, guys! SCOTTY JUST WANTS YOU TO MAKE WITH THE PROMPTING.

gyzym: (O(wl)TP! God I love hermette.)
[livejournal.com profile] gyzym:
danny slides his hands up under the hem of steve's shirt
to rest against his stomach

[livejournal.com profile] hermette:
sdkfj;lskjdf'lskjdfkjshdflksjdf

[livejournal.com profile] gyzym
even as he's tucking his face into steve's neck
OH HEY
WE NEVER FINISHED
THAT BULLETPROOF KINK CONVERSATION EARLIER

[livejournal.com profile] hermette
......................
NOW? YOU'RE DOING IT NOW? WHILE DANNY HAS HIS HANDS UP STEVE'S SHIRT?

[livejournal.com profile] gyzym
FHDSJKFHS NO I AM JUST STOPPING TO SAY
FACES BURIED IN NECKS
ON THE LIST

[livejournal.com profile] hermette
OH GOD YES YES YES
ALSO, THE CURVE OF A SHOULDER
SAME PRINCIPAL
SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT EXECUTION

[livejournal.com profile] gyzym
YES
YES
YES
JDFJSD I THOUGHT THAT SAID
SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT ERECTION
AND I WAS LIKE, WHAT

[livejournal.com profile] hermette
;KLSJDFKJHSDF

[livejournal.com profile] gyzym
IS IT
AN ERECTION OF A DIFFERENT COLOR
gyzym: (OH STEVE)
Ahahahahahahahaha, uh, so, briefly, here's what happened here: weeks ago, [livejournal.com profile] angelgazing was like, I am having a bad day, and I was like, I will write you fic with your favorite things in it! And then I wrote some fic, but I stalled out, and I remained stalled out until [livejournal.com profile] hermette said FINISH THIS FINISH THIS and coaxed me to the end.

So, uh, because I am the one trickiest pony ever to only have one trick, here is...20K of trope-filled Steve/Danny curtainfic? And...um...oh, god, I've really got nothing else to even say.

Title: Curving Like the Ocean Toward You
Pairing: Steve/Danny
Rating: NC-17
Wordcount 20,500
Author's Note: [livejournal.com profile] angelgazing, I'm apparently determined to write a ridiculously long love song to you in every fandom we share; this is the H50 edition, and I hope it passes muster. And [livejournal.com profile] hermette, thank you--for the plotting help, for hand-holding, for the amazing beta job. I love you guys ♥
Summary: If it ain't broke, fix it anyway.

Curving Like the Ocean Toward You [1/2] )
gyzym: (Turtle puppy!)
I've switched my layout and my default icon again--even though the icon on this post isn't the default one, gdi--because ~I'm so changeable~ or whatever. But I'm pretty damn sure I'll be sticking with this layout for awhile; I've coveted it forever, but have been looking for the right background image to tweak it with. I've got some more tweaks to do (like figuring out how to make that bar at the bottom green instead of black, and actually how to get rid of a lot of the black because it's too harsh with the lighter background, ffffff), but, yes. New layout! Hooray.

You guys should really all just probably expect that my journal's going to look different every time you come back to the main page, but I swear to god I'm going to try to commit to this one, ugh.

The icon thing is because I discovered that [livejournal.com profile] tulabula exists, and actually bought myself an icon package in my sudden crazy need to have them all. And also because, as much as I loved those shoes, there's only so long you can look at the same pair of shoes before it starts to drive you mad, you know? Especially if they're a pair of shoes that you made into your icon because you DESPERATELY WANT THEM and then you looked everywhere and couldn't find a pair that was close enough and looking at the icon was just a bitter bitter reminder of the shoes you could not have...*cough* I mean, I'm not crazy. Um.

Moving on, I am actually here now to tell you the bijillipede story I mentioned the other day, which I don't think I've told y'all yet, because I'm taking a break from writing before my brain oozes out my ears it is amusing.

SO: my family makes up names for things that:

a) no one else on the planet need a name for
b) other people do need a name for, but somehow are without one anyway, or
c) already have names attached to them, but INFERIOR NAMES THAT DO NOT DO SAID THING JUSTICE.


The bijillipede thing falls into category C; a bijillipede is, in actual fact, a bug. And, to be honest with you, I don't know the real name of the bug--people around here call them silverfish, but the internet is showing me photos of an insect I don't mean when I google that, so I'm not sure. I tried to search for a picture to identify it, and then made terrible horrified faces at my computer at the results and had to stop, because "grey wall climbing bug legs" does not actually yield you very pretty results.

Suffice to say: a bijillipede is a long skinny silver-grey bug that scuttles along walls. It is so named because it has a bajillion legs.

I HATE THESE LITTLE FUCKERS, YOU GUYS. I HATE THEM MORE THAN BEES, I HATE THEM MORE THAN SPIDERS, I HATE THEM MORE THAN ANYTHING. Nothing should have that many legs, nothing, it is terrible, it is wrong, it fills me with a deep and arcane terror, and the way they move...their little bodies just...oh god, I can't even think about it, aughhhhh.

I hate them, and I also didn't know they weren't...actually called bijillipedes...until I was, I swear to god, sixteen years old and at a house party with my friends. Here's how that went (names of characters are in relation to what these folks were to me at the time, not what they are now):

Bijillipede: *Scuttles along wall*
Me: *Shrieks* (look, okay, I am normally tough, I am, I really am, BUT THESE LITTLE BASTARDS FREAK ME OUT)
Boyfriend: What? What is it? Are you okay?
Me: It's a BIJILLIPEDE!!
Entire Party: ...Sorry, what?
Me: That, right there! Don't you see it! The bijillipede.
Best Friend: Oh, we see it, alright.
Boyfriend: What did you call it?
Me: A bijillipede! That's what they're called!
Best Friend: Noooo, no it's not.
Me: Come on, yes it is. You know, because they've got...a bajillion...legs...oh god, bijillipede isn't a real word, is it.
Boyfriend: *Helpless laughter*
Best Friend: *Helpless laughter*
Entire Party: *Laughter that probably could have been helped*
Bijillipede: *Exits stage left*


My parents maintain that this incident is my fault; Burro and I (he went through the same experience shortly thereafter) maintain that it is theirs. "You knew bijillipede wasn't a real thing!" my father said, when I told him. "....didn't you?"

No, no, I didn't. So teach your children well, you guys, lest they embarrass themselves at parties.
gyzym: (Flowery neck)
Ugh, you guys, my work schedule is SO WEIRD THIS WEEK. So weird.

But here is that bag meme everyone is doing, mostly because [livejournal.com profile] wheres_walnut has like, incepted me into doing it, I think. Possibly not even on purpose, it's hard to tell, she is a nefarious Nut.

I just spent like a minute trying to get the +/= button on my keyboard to produce a quotation mark for this cut. I THINK I WILL GO GET SOME COFFEE AFTER THIS. )
gyzym: (Danny oh my god you are adorbs)
WAIT, WAIT, HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED, IT'S NOT MY FAULT.

Okay, so the other day was [livejournal.com profile] illian's birthday, and I said "Oh hey, happy birthday, I will write you an H50 ficlet!" And then, later, [livejournal.com profile] hermette and [livejournal.com profile] thegrrrl2002 and I had this brief conversation about how Steve and Danny would have like, atrociously failtastic date nights. And I thought to myself, "Oh, self, here is what you will do! You will write a ficlet about Steve and Danny going on terrible terrible dates!"

Nine...thousand...words later...

Happy birthday, [livejournal.com profile] illian. I hope you enjoy this, [livejournal.com profile] hermette, [livejournal.com profile] thegrrrl2002. The rest of you...should probably just give up on me now. I am clearly a lost cause.

Title: just like the barrel going over the falls (crying all the way down 'i never asked to be involved')
Pairing: Steve/Danny [Chin/Malia, Kono/Ben Bass]
Rating: R (boooordering on NC-17)
Wordcount: 8,720
Summary: Peer pressure convinces Danny and Steve (well, okay, just Steve) that date nights are a necessary part of a healthy relationship. They try them out. It...doesn't go well.

just like the barrel going over the falls )

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