gyzym

Uh, what it says on the tin?

Well, no, wait. The truth is, I hesitate to use the word "essay," because that implies some modicum of vague professionalism, and, as you guys know, that is not my wont. In actuality this is a tl;dr word vomit on the topic of bisexuality, because sometimes I just want to talk about things! There wasn't an incident that provoked this, really--I saw a couple things on tumblr that made me go buh?, I've had a couple of RL conversations lately that made me go Really?, so here this is.

As always, the following things are true:
1) I am just a girl on the internet with a lot of feelings, and I don't claim to know shit about shit.
2) This is written from my perspective, dealing with my experiences as an American, cigendered bisexual woman. They're not the same as everyone else's! They're not the same as anyone else's, come to that; every human experience is unique, and no two people feel/act on/deal with things the exact same way.
3) If I have inadvertently offended someone, I apologize profusely, that was not my intention! Let me know and we'll talk about fixing it. ♥

All that said: ( Bisexuality: One of Those Things No One Should Let Me Get Started Talking About )

So, this is sort of a Steve/Danny fanmix, except not really, because it doesn't really have a cohesive theme or anything. It's more "here are some songs, some angsty, some ridiculously sappy, some random, that I've been listening to when thinking about Steve and Danny." I didn't do the thing where I write little blurbs for each one because I am tired, yo; I didn't give it a title because it didn't deserve one.

HOORAY, MUSIC, HERE WE GO.

( One of these days I'll control my urge to share music with everyone. Today is not that day. )

RIGHT SO FIRST: INCEPTION FEN. INCEPTION FEN. LISTEN UP.

Okay, I know I rec wheres_walnut's art like, all the fucking time, like every time she posts art, I know I do that, I really do. I AM AWARE. But the thing is I do it because it is, every time, blow the fuck away good, and oh my god, you guys. She is doing an art WIP (an ART WIP!!!) over at the kinkmeme where Arthur & Eames are fellow commuters on the Metro North and, you guys, Jesus Christ. Look, I know fuck-all about art aside from WOW THAT'S SO GORGEOUS DJHASFJKSDF but the thing I always love love love about Walnut's art is how goddamn real it feels, her use of color to set the mood, this vivid expansive beyond-what-I-can-articulate scene she manages to build. Even if you are not in Inception fandom and this, to you, would be two random dudes on a train, GO LOOK. THEY WILL BE THE MOST BREATHTAKING TWO DUDES ON A TRAIN YOU'VE EVER SEEN.

/embarrassing Walnut (SORRY NUT, I CANNOT CONTAIN MY LOVE AT ALL).

And, ahahaha, okay, second: so, when I first started posting fanfiction, I said to myself, "Jizz. Jizz. You can feel free to pound out whatever nonsense you like, so long as--and this is very important--you never write fic set in or around Cleveland, Ohio." This is for a lot of reasons, the predominant one being that I grew up/live here and thus have deep fear of self insert, though there's also the fear that my unlikely but undeniable love for this place will grip me so furiously that I'll never be able to set anything anywhere else ever again. Whatever the reason, "Don't write fic about Ohio" has been the "TOUCH NOTHING BUT THE LAMP" of my fanfiction career, and I have observed the rule faithfully.

But, see, tonight sheafrotherdon posted this vid about Michigan and, because I grew up in Ohio, Michigan makes me think of University of Michigan makes me think of Muck Fichigan makes me think of the Ohio State Buckeyes makes me think of buckeye candy makes me think of my childhood makes me think of home, and so my brain...went there. It went there, and to continue the Aladdin analogy this idea is like that giant ruby and I am Abu and somewhere my common sense is screaming NO YOU ASSHOLE TOUCH NOTHING BUT THE LAMP DO NOT WRITE FIC ABOUT OHIO, but I. I can't help myself.


What is happening to me right now. For serious.

So under the cut are some random context-free snippets of Danny and Steve in Northeast Ohio because of [plot device I haven't worked out], in the hopes that it will get the fuck out of my system. This is not fanfiction, it is 1500 words of fucking about on the internet. THAT'S TOTALLY DIFFERENT. I'M NOT TOUCHING THE LAMP. IF I DON'T GIVE IT A TITLE IT'S NOT REAL. Oh god.

( Pumpkin picking, a Browns game, a sleepy drive, a thunderstorm, and a cardinal. )

1. HOW IS HE REAL:

Burro: Hey, while I'm home, can you teach me to use the stove?
Me: Oh my god, you want to learn to cook?! Yes, YES, let's pick some of your favorite dishes and I'll show you how to make them--oh my god, what about the beef stew with the bacon and the red wine, you love that--
Burro: Wait, hold up--okay, I don't want to risk not getting the stew, though. You have to promise me you're still gonna make the stew, but you're just, I feel like I should stop you before you get excited. But you're still gonna make the stew if I tell you this, right?
Me: I...yes? What--
Burro: Stew is too hard. I mean like, those packages of rice, I keep buying them and I can't make them work.
Me: Packages of rice?
Burro: Yeah, you know, like with the flavors and shit! There's a chicken one and a beef one--
Me: Oh my god, those Lipton things!? Dude, there are directions on the package.
Burro: They're too hard!
Me: You just boil water and--oh my god. Oh my god, please tell me you can boil water.
Burro: Shit's harder than it looks, that's all I'm saying. You can judge me all you want, I don't care. I wear my sunglasses at night because my future's...wait, you're still making the stew, right? YOU PROMISED.

daslkdaskd I love this kid so much oh my god.

2. DFHDSJKFHDS ALMOST H50 TIME ALMOST ALMOST ALMOST, HAPPY SHOW DAY!! I am not watching until 11 EST, so if you guys could do me a massive favor and keep spoilers out of the comments until afterwards I would hugely appreciate it :D

3. Oh, right, fanfiction! That thing I came here to post. This is the Steve counterpart to the wild corners, that Danny fic I put up yesterday. 3,000 words this time, god knows why.



Title: happiness like a bullet in the back
Pairing: Steve/Danny
Rating: NC-17
Summary: It occurs to Steve, a little late, that there might be a place for him here already, one he doesn't have to eke out.

( happiness like a bullet in the back )

BEFORE YOU READ THIS FIC, HERE IS AN AWESOME THING:



fic_kitty DID A STEVE/DANNY VID TO THE AVETT BROTHER'S SONG "I AND LOVE AND YOU." My fucking heart, you guys. Go tell her how fucking awesome she is, for serious.

In other news, here is...er, 2,000 words of plotless Steve/Danny fic that I wrote by accident this afternoon. Sometimes I fall in love with the words? I swear to god I'm working on stuff in which things, you know, actually happen. Title is from a willful mishearing of a line from the Florence & The Machine Song "Dog Days Are Over," because, whatever, I'm just like this, I don't know.

Title: the wild corners
Pairing: Steve/Danny
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Danny hovers between wakefulness and sleep and feel likes an emptied conch--worn smooth where Steve has washed over him, flush with the faint echo of all the places they've touched.

( the wild corners )

So, here are some things this story is: shameless shameless ridiculous shameless id fic; about 6500 words longer than it was supposed to be; part of the same 'verse as Curving Like the Ocean Toward You (though it can be read alone); entirely Cate and hermette's fault. Here are some things it is NOT: uh, claiming to be a work of genius /o\

I DON'T KNOW, GUYS, SOMETIMES SHIT JUST GETS AWAY FROM ME, THE END.

Title: Weight of Days Lost Holding You Down
Pairing: Steve/Danny
Rating: PG
Wordcount: ~7100
Author's Note: hermette, I blame you and I love you and I blame you and thank you so much for the incredible beta job, I cannot even. YOU ARE THE WIND BENEATH MY WINGS, OR SOMETHING. And, er, Cate, sorry I went and turned your prompt into...this whole thing...dfhdsjfk.
Summary: Steve jumps off buildings; Danny hits the wall.

( Weight of Days Lost Holding You Down )

Dear H50 people on my flist:

I'm in the mood to write some H50 fic, but I'm not sure what, or how much, or how long, because sometimes I have days like this where the words are not readily apparent. SO: comment, yo. Gimme prompts, yo. IDEAS, YO, I WANTS THEM.

Basic rules: I make no promises about actually writing what you've prompted, because inspiration is something I am really atrocious at forcing when it isn't already there. This is a "I'm gonna do what strikes me" kind of thing; I'd like to say I WILL FILL THE FIRST TEN PROMPTS THAT COME IN or whatever, but guys, guys, I have absolutely no control over my own brain. It's possible that I'll end up writing 25 little mini-fics; it's possible that I'll take one prompt, mean to write four sentences, and come back in two weeks with 30,000 words. THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME, OKAY, I CAN'T HELP IT.

Basic rules continued: if you look in the comments and see something you want to write, DO EET, DO EEEEEET, PLEASE DO IT, I WILL CHEERLEAD YOU SO HARD YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW. Prompt with pictures, words, quotes, scenarios, music, whatever. And no bashing--not on characters, not on each other, not on prompts, not on fills, not on other fandoms, and not on Scotty Caan's height, okay, because that man has four inches on me and it's driving me crazy and I will cut you.



Alex would like to know what you're thinking about, guys! SCOTTY JUST WANTS YOU TO MAKE WITH THE PROMPTING.

♥

For more information, please see Part One.

( Curving Like the Ocean Toward You [2/2] )

I've switched my layout and my default icon again--even though the icon on this post isn't the default one, gdi--because ~I'm so changeable~ or whatever. But I'm pretty damn sure I'll be sticking with this layout for awhile; I've coveted it forever, but have been looking for the right background image to tweak it with. I've got some more tweaks to do (like figuring out how to make that bar at the bottom green instead of black, and actually how to get rid of a lot of the black because it's too harsh with the lighter background, ffffff), but, yes. New layout! Hooray.

You guys should really all just probably expect that my journal's going to look different every time you come back to the main page, but I swear to god I'm going to try to commit to this one, ugh.

The icon thing is because I discovered that tulabula exists, and actually bought myself an icon package in my sudden crazy need to have them all. And also because, as much as I loved those shoes, there's only so long you can look at the same pair of shoes before it starts to drive you mad, you know? Especially if they're a pair of shoes that you made into your icon because you DESPERATELY WANT THEM and then you looked everywhere and couldn't find a pair that was close enough and looking at the icon was just a bitter bitter reminder of the shoes you could not have...*cough* I mean, I'm not crazy. Um.

Moving on, I am actually here now to tell you the bijillipede story I mentioned the other day, which I don't think I've told y'all yet, because I'm taking a break from writing before my brain oozes out my ears it is amusing.

SO: my family makes up names for things that:

a) no one else on the planet need a name for
b) other people do need a name for, but somehow are without one anyway, or
c) already have names attached to them, but INFERIOR NAMES THAT DO NOT DO SAID THING JUSTICE.

The bijillipede thing falls into category C; a bijillipede is, in actual fact, a bug. And, to be honest with you, I don't know the real name of the bug--people around here call them silverfish, but the internet is showing me photos of an insect I don't mean when I google that, so I'm not sure. I tried to search for a picture to identify it, and then made terrible horrified faces at my computer at the results and had to stop, because "grey wall climbing bug legs" does not actually yield you very pretty results.

Suffice to say: a bijillipede is a long skinny silver-grey bug that scuttles along walls. It is so named because it has a bajillion legs.

I HATE THESE LITTLE FUCKERS, YOU GUYS. I HATE THEM MORE THAN BEES, I HATE THEM MORE THAN SPIDERS, I HATE THEM MORE THAN ANYTHING. Nothing should have that many legs, nothing, it is terrible, it is wrong, it fills me with a deep and arcane terror, and the way they move...their little bodies just...oh god, I can't even think about it, aughhhhh.

I hate them, and I also didn't know they weren't...actually called bijillipedes...until I was, I swear to god, sixteen years old and at a house party with my friends. Here's how that went (names of characters are in relation to what these folks were to me at the time, not what they are now):

Bijillipede: *Scuttles along wall*
Me: *Shrieks* (look, okay, I am normally tough, I am, I really am, BUT THESE LITTLE BASTARDS FREAK ME OUT)
Boyfriend: What? What is it? Are you okay?
Me: It's a BIJILLIPEDE!!
Entire Party: ...Sorry, what?
Me: That, right there! Don't you see it! The bijillipede.
Best Friend: Oh, we see it, alright.
Boyfriend: What did you call it?
Me: A bijillipede! That's what they're called!
Best Friend: Noooo, no it's not.
Me: Come on, yes it is. You know, because they've got...a bajillion...legs...oh god, bijillipede isn't a real word, is it.
Boyfriend: *Helpless laughter*
Best Friend: *Helpless laughter*
Entire Party: *Laughter that probably could have been helped*
Bijillipede: *Exits stage left*

My parents maintain that this incident is my fault; Burro and I (he went through the same experience shortly thereafter) maintain that it is theirs. "You knew bijillipede wasn't a real thing!" my father said, when I told him. "....didn't you?"

No, no, I didn't. So teach your children well, you guys, lest they embarrass themselves at parties.

WAIT, WAIT, HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED, IT'S NOT MY FAULT.

Okay, so the other day was illian's birthday, and I said "Oh hey, happy birthday, I will write you an H50 ficlet!" And then, later, hermette and thegrrrl2002 and I had this brief conversation about how Steve and Danny would have like, atrociously failtastic date nights. And I thought to myself, "Oh, self, here is what you will do! You will write a ficlet about Steve and Danny going on terrible terrible dates!"

Nine...thousand...words later...

Happy birthday, illian. I hope you enjoy this, hermette, thegrrrl2002. The rest of you...should probably just give up on me now. I am clearly a lost cause.

Title: just like the barrel going over the falls (crying all the way down 'i never asked to be involved')
Pairing: Steve/Danny [Chin/Malia, Kono/Ben Bass]
Rating: R (boooordering on NC-17)
Wordcount: 8,720
Summary: Peer pressure convinces Danny and Steve (well, okay, just Steve) that date nights are a necessary part of a healthy relationship. They try them out. It...doesn't go well.

( just like the barrel going over the falls )