(no subject)

Dear Weather,

75% HUMIDITY IS SO NOT ACCEPTABLE. JESUS CHRIST, I MIGHT AS WELL BE FUCKING SWIMMING. WHO GETS HEAT LIGHTNING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING DAY?

RAIN, MOTHERFUCKER. RAAAAIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNN.

SERIOUSLY,
ME

-

Dear Mystery Sub Sandwich That Is Being Brought For Me,

I am excited about you, I am grateful for you, please please please don't turn out to be tuna. So not feeling tuna today, but beggars cannot be choosers. BE A MEAT SAMMICH, SAMMICH.

Please?
Me

-

Dear Puppy,

You are not actually a puppy, you are almost 7 years old, and if you keep barking like that those skunks are going to come and skunk you. That's what's gonna happen. I know it, you know it, the skunks know it. PLEASE DON'T GET SKUNKED, JERRY, THAT WOULD BE SUCH A BUMMER.

Kisses,
Me

-

Dear Brother,

Did we actually stay up until 3:30 watching Dude Where's My Car and Tropic Thunder last night? I'm pretty sure we did. I'm also pretty sure we rewound the part of TT where RDJ says "WE'RE LOST, WE'RE FUCKING SUPER LOST" and watched it like 10 time.

You're awesome. Don't ever change.

But you should probably get up it's 2 PM,
Me

I forgot I had this icon, but I am in love with it all over again. Mmm, Steampunky!RDJ. Mmm.

Okay, this is, at this point, just shameless procrastination. I AM COMING BACK IN A SECOND BIG BANG THING, BUT I'VE BEEN WORKING ON YOU SINCE LIKE 8 AM AND YOU ARE NO LESS AWKWARD OR UNFINISHED THAN YOU WERE WHEN I STARTED AND I BEGIN TO DESPAIR OF MY LIFE. SO YOU WILL HAVE TO WAIT A MINUTE. SUCK IT.

( Cut for general rambling that has taken up more space than I meant it to. OH PROCRASTINATION. )

In other news, it's really like I don't even have hair anymore. It's like I have an animal sitting on my head. It's...fuzzy. I am starting to think it's sentient; I think it's laughing at my dismay, I really do. Just, curls everywhere, everywhere everywhere, and even if I bother straightening it I step outside and the humidity UNDOES MY WORK. Which is not fair. I look like a Q-tip. A frizzy blonde Q-tip.

My brother says with should hide things in there, because he is a cruel soul determined to torture me, or because he thinks it is funny to watch my face turn purple, I'm not sure which.

[ETA: CRAP. APPARENTLY I HAVE TO GO SEE MY EXTENDED FAMILY TONIGHT. GOOD MOOD ERASED BY PANIC. ARRRGH]