gyzym | Entries tagged with jgl's ass is magic

Ahahaha, fixed my internet, and then

rrrowr did me a solid (THANK YOU RO THANK YOU RO OH MY GOD THANK YOU) and then I was all, what do you want? And she was all, Arthur/Eames wallsex! And for whatever reason, though I've been blocked on these two for seriously months and months and fucking months, this actually happened. I don't know if/when it will happen again, and my sincere apologies if it's not for awhile--I SWEAR TO GOD I'M TRYING WITH THESE TWO, THEY JUST. Oh man, when they don't talk to me they really do not say a fucking WORD, I don't know what to do with them.

So, uh, right, here's 1500 words of drunk Arthur/Eames established-relationship-ish kind of size kinky PWP? Like, seriously, PWP, and also glossing over the whole most-drunk-people-have-trouble-getting-hard-thing and oh, god, I don't even know, you guys. My apologies for the errors that are probably herein, this is an insomnia fic, and also for the terrible title, and also for the fact that after months of nothing on this front what came out is...this. Augh I don't even I'm going to go try to sleep now RO I LOVE YOU THANK YOU AGAIN.

( Dangerous When Loaded, 1500 words, Arthur/Eames, NC-17 )

OKAY SO I COME BEARING DOMESTICVERSE THINGS. The first is the floorplan for their house in South Pasadena, which I've been wanting to draw up forever. BE ADVISED: I COMPLETELY HALF-ASSED THIS BECAUSE THE SOFTWARE I WAS USING HATED MY GUTS, AND SO I STOPPED LIKE...ADDING FURNITURE AFTER THE KITCHEN AND THE BED. Also, ignore ALL of the dimensions on this thing, I am *not* good at that kind of thing and didn't even guess as much as I like. Just drew it how I thought it would look without consideration of size. BUT:

( Domesticverse floorplan )

Secondly, I...uh...wrote a domesticverse fic. Only this is this new thing I've been wanting to try for ages now: a domesticverse sidestory. These are basically going to be shorter stories that aren't in order with the master timeline/aren't as important to the ongoing plot as the main stories are/are too ridiculous to work into a bigger story. Basically they're little moments as opposed to...you know...plot builders. I'm still angsting over how the hell to tag them on Ao3, but this is the first one.

This particular story is Arthur & Eames' first New Year's Eve as a...couple type thing :D That means that, timeline wise, this is set in between "between my reflex & my resolve" and "this life looks good on you."

Happy New Year, guys! ♥

Title: so this is the new year
Rating: PG/PG-13
Wordcount: ~2550
Summary: On the one hand, they've been…whatever they are…for six whole months, which is probably long enough to trust that Arthur means it when he says Eames can go. On the other hand, it's only been six months, which is not nearly long enough for Eames to take it on faith that Arthur isn't testing him somehow.

( so this is the new year )

HELLO HELLO INTERWEBS.

I apologize for being a little MIA, shit has been busy etc etc holiday parties etc etc limited time etc etc OMG YULETIDE all of things etc etc etc etc. I have a lot of things to say! But, first and foremost, I would like to let everyone know that (drumroll please):

I HAVE NAMED MY BROTHERS.

Yes, it's true, everyone clap, I know you are as thrilled as I am about this. AND EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT, I am deeply relieved not to have to keep typing out "the nineteen year old" and "the eleven year old" every six seconds. And I guess I should probably...tell you...the names. So, uh, basically what happened is

two_if_by_sea suggested I call one of them Donkey Punch because she's hilarious and horrifying and stuff, and then that mutated into:

Burro Punch/Burro: My 19-year-old frat boy brother
Burrito Punch/Burrito: My 11-year-old sixth grade brother

You know, because burro means...donkey and "ito" is an...affectionate diminutive...okay anyway HURRAY FOR CATHY! I will probably mostly be calling them Burro and Burrito, TBH :D BUT AT LEAST THEY ARE NAMED NOW.

Speaking of my brothers, ( the other night Burro and I got high and he unwittingly outlined a hilarious Inception fic with me. )

So, you know, that was the best ten minutes of my life.

And now, because it's been ages since I posted fic and I feel legit bad about that (although I am working on things I swear I am) here is a WIP dump!

( 1200 words of unfinished top!Arthur PWP )

( 2,000 words of...um, drunk blowjob porn )

( That coffeeshop AU drabble that I posted on Nellie's AU thinger awhile back )

( And a coffeeshop AU drabble never before seen by the internet )

Will these coffeeshop scenes make it into the coffeeshop sequel? Er, maybe. Which brings up the question: is there going to be a coffeeshop sequel? Er...probably. BUT I DON'T KNOW WHEN, GUYS, IT MIGHT BE MONTHS FROM NOW, DON'T HOLD ME TO ANYTHING, OKAY?

Also I'm working on this other thing. I'll tell you guys about it soon, when it's done. For now, I have a Yuletide to write (oh god) and nails to paint and, hopefully, coffee to drink. HAPPY SATURDAY, GUYS :D

Current Mood: thoughtful

THIS STORY IS FUCKING DONE NOW JESUS CHRIST. Part One can be found here.

Title: we were once cinema gods in the night [2/2]
Pairing: Arthur/Eames
Rating: R
Wordcount: 10,556 (this part)/~21,000 (full story)
Warnings: Discussion of past drug use, generally appalling language, canon character death
Summary: That's the thing about Hollywood--everyone has a Hollywood story.

( we were once cinema gods in the night [2/2] )

Er so. The things is I've been working on this Hollywood AU on and off for months because my brother, who knows not what he does, sent me this article about, among other things, how Inception is a metaphor for film making. And, of course, immediately I was like ARTHUR IS THE PRODUCER EAMES IS THE ACTOR OH MY FUCKING GOD I NEED TO WRITE THIS. Because, you know, I have no self control.

And anyway this is the first 10K and normally I don't do the whole WIP thing but OH MY GOD I NEEDED TO GET THIS PART OFF MY FUCKING COMPUTER IF I WANTED TO GET THE REST DONE, so, uh. Sorry. I apologize. For the WIP-ness. The rest should be done soon.

Also, A Disclaimer: What little I do know about the film industry is culled from a torrid on again/off again relationship with watching Entourage and, more importantly, the year I spent dating a film student in college. I spent a lot of time on college film sets! I spent a lot of time in college cutting rooms! But I DO NOT ACTUALLY KNOW HOW IT WORKS IN HOLLYWOOD. Much of this could be very, very, very wrong, and I used some ~artistic license~, and I make nooooo claims that this is how this industry actually functions. None. Okay?

Also, a DP is a director of photography, or that dude or dudette who, you know, films the movie.

Title: we were once cinema gods in the night [Part One]
Pairing: Arthur/Eames
Rating: R
Wordcount: 10,358 (this part)
Warnings: Discussion of past drug use, generally appalling language, canon character death
Summary: That's the thing about Hollywood--everyone has a Hollywood story.

( we were once cinema gods in the night [Part One] )

This story, like all stories worth telling, starts with JGL's twitter.

I'm bopping around on it yesterday, because I'm looking for a link to...something. I don't even know what now, but as is The Way Of The Internet, yesterday I NEEDED IT AT ONCE OMFG, and his twitter was the place I recalled seeing it, right? So I'm looking, and I'm looking, and I find a tweet mentioning that Rian Johnson had been the director of Brick.

"Wait," I think, "wait, what?"

See, the thing is, Rian Johnson directed The Brothers Bloom, which is one of my favorite movies of all time. And not that JGL being in Brick wasn't a selling point in and of itself, but this new information pushed the film into OH MY GOD WHY HAVEN'T I SEEN THIS YET territory. I check, find it is available for streaming on Netflix, and I watch it.

Or, well, I watch most of it. Then I get tired and pass out, and I wake up this morning horrifyingly sick. I call an audible on my day, tell work I will not be coming in, watch the last half hour Brick because, you know, JGL, lovely distraction, and then I fall asleep and have this dream.

I'm in a bar, right, this bar that looks a lot like a bar I love in NYC, and there's a highball glass in front of me. I take a sip and discover, to my extreme glee, that it is in fact a cucumber vodka tonic, made with this cucumber infused vodka that they make by hand at a bar in the town where I used to go to school. The bar I am in is not that bar (and look I recognize that this makes me sound like a hipster, okay, I get that, but OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU GUYS THAT CUCUMBER VODKA IS SO DELICIOUS I CANNOT EVEN), and this is how I realize I am dreaming.

Allow me to repeat: I realize I am dreaming.

Now, I feel I should mention at this point that this is not my first lucid dream ever. I have them a lot, although generally I don't do anything particularly awesome in them. (I didn't know I even could do awesome things in them until I saw the movie Waking Life, which, among other things, informed me that one of the ways to tell if you're having a lucid dream is if you flick a light switch and nothing happens. Trufax: morning after I saw that, I woke up, groggy and out of sorts, noticed that none of the lights in my apartment were working, and spent five minutes trying to make myself fly before it occurred to me that the power might be out. My life, not thrilling.) But so I'm excited, right, I drink all of my delicious vodka and my glass refills itself, I've called off work back IRL and as such have no alarm to dread, I can just go ahead and enjoy this.

And then JGL walks into the bar.

Now, please note: celebrity cameos in my dreams are generally just that--cameos. They kind of pop their heads in, fail entirely to speak to me, and pop back out again. And so I don't know why JGL decided to stick around, if it was just because I'd just watched the end of Brick or what, but it occurs to me, staring at him, sipping my fantastic fucking drink, that this is a pretty awesome situation.

I am having a lucid dream featuring Joseph Gordon Levitt. I mean, really, not even I could cock that up, right?

Oh, god, I always underestimate my own fail.

Dream!JGL: Hello!
Dream!Me: I feel obligated to inform you, for the sake of preventing awkwardness later, that you are Joseph Gordon Levitt.
Dream!JGL: Um. Yeah, I know.
Dream!Me: Well, just so long as we're clear on that.
Dream!JGL: Wait, that was your idea of preventing awkwardness?
Dream!Me: Oh, it could have been a lot worse, believe me.
Dream!JGL: You think so? Really?
Dream!Me: God, yeah. I could have mentioned about how I spend most of my free time writing gay fanfiction about you on the internet, for one thing.
Dream!JGL: ...Um. Do you spend most of your free time writing gay fanfiction about me on the internet?
Dream!Me: No? Just...just that character you played in Inception.
Dream!JGL: Oh my god, why would you tell me that?
Dream!Me: YOUR ASS HAS MYSTICAL POWERS, OKAY, I AM A LITTLE FLUSTERED HERE.
Dream!JGL: Okay, uh. Well, then. I'm just going to...go over here now.
Actual!Me: *wakes up horrified*

MY POINT BEING: CONGRATULATIONS, YOU GUYS, YOU OFFICIALLY KNOW SOMEONE WHO IS HIDEOUSLY AWKWARD WITH CELEBRITIES WITHOUT EVEN MEETING SAID CELEBRITIES, WHAT THE ACTUAL SHIT.

For more information, please see Part One.

( I've Got Nothing To Do Today But Smile (The Only Living Boy in New York), 2/2 )

Current Mood: cheerful

THE COFFEESHOP AU, IT IS FINISHED.

So, uh, disclaimer first and foremost: I work for a mid-sized corporate law firm, but in the marketing department. I don't know shit about shit, and I don't claim to know. Anything I've gotten right in terms of Arthur's job is entirely due to the most excellent

elrhiarhodan, and anything I've gotten wrong is totally my own fault.

Also, this story is my love song to

angelgazing, my tribute to the baristas who keep me in free coffee, and an (early?) birthday present for

bookshop. And, also, the title is a nod to Paul Simon, because who doesn't love that guy? Except, you know, Art Garfunkel.

ETA 1: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD NOW WITH ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL FANART BY

pen_pistola AND MORE TO COME FROM

xxdoublexx YOU GUYS ARE MUCH TOO GOOD TO ME PLEASE TO BE SHOWERING LOVE ON EVERY FANARTIST EVER AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

ETA 2: I did a soundtrack for this story, because YOU GUYS ARE ALL SO AWESOME AND THE LEAST I CAN DO IS OFFER YOU SOME FREE MUSIC, OH MY GOD ♥

ETA 3: HOLY FUCKING SHIT PLEASE TO BE VIEWING ALL THE AMAZING FANART FOR THIS STORY I CANNOT EVEN. MY GRATITUDE IS BEYOND WORDS AND THEY ARE ALL SO AMAZING AND FDJFDSFDNSFJSDFSDF GO GO GO SHOWER THE ARTISTS WITH LOVE GOOOOOO!!!

ETA 4: pennyplainknits has done a simply fantastic podfic of this story. IT IS AMAZING. AMAZING.

Title: I've Got Nothing To Do Today But Smile (The Only Living Boy in New York)
Pairing: Arthur/Eames [side Ariadne/Yusuf]
Rating: Probably PG-13, to be honest, but let's go with R and be on the safe side.
Wordcount: 19,745
Summary: Arthur's a corporate lawyer, Eames owns the coffee shop across the street, and all good love stories start with a quadruple shot latte.

( I've Got Nothing To Do Today But Smile (The Only Living Boy in New York), 1/2 )

Current Mood: accomplished

Please see Part One for additional info.

( having let go forever the fallacy of ever being alone [2/2] )

...um. So. I wrote some new domestic!verse fic. This was supposed to be a quick little story about shit breaking in Arthur & Eames' house, but they had...other plans. And now it's 16K? And not really about shit breaking so much? So, you know, there's that.

Sometimes I despair of my life, you guys.

angelgazing says this one is my fault; I suspect, secretly, that she is still to blame, but for the sake of not making her sputter with rage I will just thank her for being the ~~devil~~ angel on my shoulder :D

Title: having let go forever the fallacy of ever being alone
Pairing: Arthur/Eames
Rating: NC-17
Wordcount: 16,200
Summary: This time there are shitty dogeared paperbacks Arthur wouldn't be caught dead reading piled on the coffee table, and half-finished crosswords tucked into the bookshelves, and the far wall is hung with that tapestry they'd bought in a shit part of London on a whim. This time they've spent all day fixing their sink and there's a mug of yesterday's tea sitting on top of the television and it's not just Arthur's living room at all.
Author's Note: This story is the eighth in a series called Wherever You Will Be (That's Where I'll Call Home), also known as the domestic!verse; the link takes you to the series master post.

( having let go forever the fallacy of ever being alone [1/2] )

Okay, here's the goddamn motherfucking fkdsfjsdfjsd wedding fic. It took forever. POSSIBLY BECAUSE IT IS ALMOST 20K? I just. I don't even know what happened here.

I have to tell you guys: I pretty much hate this fic right now, it's eaten at my soul, I have massive fucking doubts about it, but just.

angelgazing says I have to post it, and I need it out of my damn to-do file, and just. *Tears at hair and makes pleading eyes* I CANNOT OFFER ANY...ANYTHING FOR THIS ANYMORE. I JUST CAN'T. I AM SORRY. BUT THERE'S LIKE 3K OF RIMMING PORN TUCKED IN IT? I JUST. I DON'T EVEN. NO MORE SPEAKING.

And, with that auspicious introduction:

Title: life long local foreigner, i
Pairing: Arthur/Eames
Rating: NC-17
Wordcount: 19,464 (JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE ACTUAL SHIT, SELF)
Summary: Arthur grins, lazy and relaxed, and Eames thinks that maybe this is how people get through these things, tethered to one another when they can't hold on anywhere else.
Author's Note: This story is the seventh in a series called Wherever You Will Be (That's Where I'll Call Home), also known as the domesticverse; the link takes you to the series master post. Specifically, it is the companion piece to pressed against the pending physics of my passed down last name; the titles are from the same song and everything!

( life long local foreigner, i [1/2] )

HILARIOUS THING NUMBER ONE:

So, I changed my lj name thing to "and zeus was like yeah i've had allll the bitches" after that conversation with

angelgazing the other day, because I was laughing so hard I could not breathe and she said I should. I did that, and I forgot about it, and today I got an email from LJ to notify me that I have to buy more paid time that was ADDRESSED TO "and zeus was like yeah i've had allll the bitches." Like, literally, it read "Dear and zeus was like yeah i've had allll the bitches, your paid account will expire in blah blah blah."

I laughed so hard I did not even mind realizing how VERY QUICKLY 6 months have gone by.

HILARIOUS THING NUMBER TWO:

My family is officially too large for anyone's good. I know this because I came into the coffee shop today and I saw a woman sitting in the corner and I thought "Huh, she looks familiar." And I got my coffee and saw her looking at me with that same expression on her face, that how-do-I-know-you expression, and I was like, hmmm, we must have met somewhere. But she left while I was getting my coffee and I've been thinking about it since and five minutes ago I realized: THAT WAS MY AUNT NORMA.

I mean, really, just, what.

(HOPEFULLY?) HILARIOUS THING NUMBER THREE:

I feel guilty about how long the stupid wedding fic is taking me (WRITE YOURSELF, LAST SCENE, I WANT TO BE WORKING ON THE NEXT DOMESTIC!VERSE FIC), so I wrote you guys some total crack! Hopefully the wedding thing will be done at some point today, but who can tell. If the title of this does not make sense, please proceed to your nearest Blockbuster and rent Little Shop of Horrors. Or see a live production! It is pretty much amazing.

Title: Don't Feed Me, Seymour
Rating: PG? PG-13?
Pairing: Arthur/Eames
Summary: "This looks delicious," Eames fucking lies, because the only accurate statement would be This looks like intestines, and he would like Arthur to continue to shagging him.

( Don't Feed Me, Seymour )

So, uh,

hackthis has been all MOAR YUSUF all over the place and I've wanted to write this story for ages and pressed against the pending physics of my passed down last name and the fic about Arthur's family needed a bridge between them. So here, have some Ariadne/Yusuf! The Arthur fic will be up...as soon as I finish it.

Title: take the long way home (soft as the radio)
Pairing: Ariadne/Yusuf, Arthur/Eames
Rating: PG-13
Summary: The thought washes over her, steady and calming like a warm breeze, that this could be her own kind of love story.
Author's Note: Despite being Ariadne/Yusuf, this story is the sixth in an Arthur/Eames series called Wherever You Will Be (That's Where I'll Call Home); the link takes you to the series master post. There is a heavy Arthur/Eames presence in this piece, and the arc of the story covers a number of events that happen in the 'verse timeline. Yes? Yes.

( take the long way home (soft as the radio) )

What's the best way to wind down from writing 10K of angsty grief fic? Why, by writing 5K of ridiculous Trojan War AU crack, of course!

I'd like to state for the record that the actual mythology behind the Trojan War is nothing at all like this. It is much, much better. I changed things around and I totally fucked with everything and actually, really, this whole thing is like me turning to Homer and saying "I bite my thumb at you, sir." Additionally, today's Blame Game winners are my high school Latin teacher, who turned me into a mythology nerd,

aredblush, who drew this adorable sketch of Cupid!Arthur and Zeus!Eames and thus gave me the idea for fucking about with this concept, and

angelgazing, because she linked me to said sketch and because everything is her fault forever.

But, um. Enjoy?

Title: Lay Your Siege
Pairing: Arthur/Eames [Cobb/Mal]
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 4846
Summary: Haven't you been paying attention? This is a war story.

( Lay Your Siege )

I filled a hilarious kinkmeme prompt out of a need to take a break and write some crack. 900 words of ridiculousness later, ~~I don't even know if I should post this to the comms~~

angelgazing used her damned "I wrote the Inception team as Care Bears" argument and made me cross-post this. I just. I do not even. Wut.

Title: Shit Arthur Says
Rating: PG (possibly PG-13 for language)
Pairing: Arthur/Eames
Summary: Written for this prompt: Eames has a secret twitter called, "Shit Arthur Says." Well, secret to Arthur, that is.

( Shit Arthur Says )

Domestic!verse sickfic. I...don't even know what to say for myself about this one, you guys. I really don't.

Title: to tell you the truth i prefer the worst of you
Pairing: Arthur/Eames
Rating: R
Wordcount: 6744
Summary: Eames starts the day by sitting on a pack of cigarettes.
Author's Note: This story is the fourth in a series called Wherever You Will Be (That's Where I'll Call Home); the link takes you to the series master post.

( to tell you the truth i prefer the worst of you )

Uh, so, I kind of accidentally got

jjgd into Inception (if by "accidentally" you mean "she said HEY JIZZ and I said OH MY GOD NO TALKING ABOUT ANYTHING BUT INCEPTION FOREVER"), and then she agreed to draw chibi!Eames playing poker (I will link everywhere when it exists) if I would write a drabble about Arthur having picked up a weird talent in college. I agreed.

And then, because there is something wrong with me, I wrote 1140 words. DRABBLE FAIL.

Title: we live under a halo of held breath
Pairing: Arthur/Eames
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Eames is wrong. Arthur can juggle.

( we live under a halo of held breath )

Oh, look, it's the sequel to between my reflex & my resolve and this life looks good on you, also known as domestic!fic, also known (in my brain) as "The Arthur & Eames Lead a Charming if Mildly Dysfunctional Domestic Life 'Verse." Now with 25% more filthy porn!

Also, Arthur being Jewish is now part of my person canon, because in 6-odd years in various fandoms, I have LITERALLY NEVER come across a Jewish character with whom I could quietly use my own heritage/considerable knowledge for fodder. For anyone who is wondering when they reach that part of the story, a Nova boy is a sandwich served in Jewish delis, made of a bagel, cream cheese, smoked salmon, tomato, onion, and sometimes capers. They can be purchased many places, but are in fact best in New York. GOD IT MAKES ME HUNGRY JUST LOOKING AT THAT.

Title: i could be the thing you reach for in the middle of the night
Pairing: Arthur/Eames
Rating: NC-17
Wordcount: 5,087
Summary: Eames had always thought Arthur would be a morning person.
Author's Note: This story is the third in a series called Wherever You Will Be (That's Where I'll Call Home); the link takes you to the series master post.

( i could be the thing you reach for in the middle of the night )

JESUS CHRIST SOMEONE STOP ME I CAN'T STOP WRITING ARTHUR/EAMES INCEPTION FIC

Title: i thought of you and where you'd gone
Pairing: Arthur/Eames
Rating: R
Summary: Their eyes meet in the reflection of the frosted-over freezer glass, another layer of distance to be splayed haphazardly across the oceans and mountains and countries they keep building between them, and Eames is smiling at him.

( i thought of you and where you'd gone )

Title: this life looks good on you
Pairing: Arthur/Eames
Rating: R
Summary: There are only four rules in Arthur's house.
Author's Note: This can be read as the sequel to between my reflex and my resolve, or not, if you prefer. I wrote them as separate pieces and then discovered that they worked together, so it's all up to you guys :D [Edit: It turned out to be the sequel after all. This story is the second in a series called Wherever You Will Be (That's Where I'll Call Home); the link takes you to the series master post.]

( this life looks good on you )