gyzym | Entries tagged with things i can't believe i've written

This is the first chapter of a fucking Princess Bride AU that I am apparently going to post serially, I honestly, I don't even know what else to say, oh my god, this is so ridiculous, this is straight up unmitigated crack, please understand that I mean it only as crack. Crack. Craaaaaack. I DO NOT TAKE THIS STORY SERIOUSLY AT ALL AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU, IS MY POINT.

Also, I've kind of changed. Um. Some things. A lot of things. And the summary is for the overall story even though it's not all actually written yet because the hell if I'm writing a summary for every chapter because I HATE SUMMARIES and oh, god, I'm just going to stop talking now. EXCEPT TO SAY THAT I BLAME

iam_space FOR PLANTING THE IDEA AND

hermette FOR ENCOURAGING IT AND

leupagus FOR DEMANDING I WRITE IT FASTER. Seriously. It's their fault. It's not mine.

Title: Totally Not A Kissing Book - Chapter One
Pairing: Steve/Danny
Rating: PG-13, but really only for language
Summary: Danny's the hottest guy in Florin, Steve's a lunatic, Kono's a bad ass, and Chin doesn't get paid enough for this shit. So really, nothing's changed at all.

( Totally Not A Kissing Book - Chapter One )

Ahahahahahahahaha, uh, so, briefly, here's what happened here: weeks ago,

angelgazing was like, I am having a bad day, and I was like, I will write you fic with your favorite things in it! And then I wrote some fic, but I stalled out, and I remained stalled out until

hermette said FINISH THIS FINISH THIS and coaxed me to the end.

So, uh, because I am the one trickiest pony ever to only have one trick, here is...20K of trope-filled Steve/Danny curtainfic? And...um...oh, god, I've really got nothing else to even say.

Title: Curving Like the Ocean Toward You
Pairing: Steve/Danny
Rating: NC-17
Wordcount 20,500
Author's Note:

angelgazing, I'm apparently determined to write a ridiculously long love song to you in every fandom we share; this is the H50 edition, and I hope it passes muster. And

hermette, thank you--for the plotting help, for hand-holding, for the amazing beta job. I love you guys ♥
Summary: If it ain't broke, fix it anyway.

( Curving Like the Ocean Toward You [1/2] )

A brief note: THIS IS THE END, GUYS. All the chapters and anything I do in this 'verse can be found under my History Repeating Itself tag. I am planning to do some side stories, including the Miles/Irene story and maybe a companion piece/sequel to this from Holmes' POV. Also, there will be a post up at some point in the near future where you can ask Holmes and Watson questions and they'll, uh, answer you. So feel free to check that out. I posted mad, mad thanks over at the meme, and I will do a full acknowledgment here tomorrow when it's like, real people hours, but the concept bears repeating: SERIOUSLY, THANK YOU, YOU GUYS. YOU HAVE BEEN INCREDIBLE, YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE WITH YOUR COMMENTS, AND THIS ENTIRE THING IS BELONG YOU YOU <3

And now, onto the conclusion of this tale.

Title: History, Repeating Itself (Chapter Ten)
Rating: R
Pairing: Holmes/Watson
Warnings: Violence, alcohol and marijuana use, general debauchery, copious use of coarse language.
Spoilers: None, except for Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight, and Chapter Nine of this story.
Author's Notes: This is a fill for an AWESOME prompt at

shkinkmeme; both the prompt and the fill thread can be found here. I have posted the chapters bit-by-bit there and then archived them on my journal. The work can be viewed in its entirety both here and at the meme.
Chapter Summary: John Watson concludes his story.

( Chapter Ten: On Endings, Beginnings, and That Which Falls Somewhere In Between )

Title: History, Repeating Itself (Chapter Three)
Rating: R
Pairing: Holmes/Watson (currently pre-slash)
Warnings: PTSD, vivid war imagery, alcohol and marijuana use, general debauchery, copious use of coarse language
Spoilers: None, except for Chapter One and Chapter Two of this story.
Author's Notes: This is a fill for an AWESOME prompt at

shkinkmeme; both the prompt and the fill thread can be found here. I will continue posting the chapters bit-by-bit there and then archiving them on my journal for the duration of this story.
Chapter Summary: John Watson goes several places he doesn't wish to go, makes a new friend, lives a nightmare and comes to a realization.

( Chapter Three: On the Occasional Merits of the Insane--Dangers and Benefits )

Title: History, Repeating Itself (Chapter Two)
Rating: R
Pairing: Holmes/Watson (currently pre-slash)
Warnings: Alcohol and marijuana use, general debauchery, copious use of coarse language
Spoilers: None, except for Chapter One of this story.
Author's Notes: This is a fill for an AWESOME prompt at

shkinkmeme; both the prompt and the fill thread can be found here. I will continue posting the chapters bit-by-bit there and then archiving them on my journal for the duration of this story.
Chapter Summary: John Watson observes his new roommate in his natural habitat, falls victim to some decidedly unwelcome dreams, and really needs a fucking beer.

( Chapter Two: On The Pitfalls of Observing Insanity Once Escape Is No Longer Possible )

Current Music: Stardust Kids (David Bowie vs. MGMT)

Remember how I blabbered on forever about the long, long fic I was writing?

Welllll....reveals are up. I CAN FINALLY SHOW YOU GUYS.

Title: A Small Spark Neglected
Pairing: Teddy Lupin/James Sirius Potter
Rating: PG-13 to R
Word Count: 23,710
Disclaimer: I don’t own these characters; they belong to Jo Rowling, et al. Additionally, the title of this quote is taken from a Quintus Curtius quotation, the full text of which reads: “A small spark neglected has often kindled a mighty conflagration.”
Author's Notes: First and foremost: THANK YOU to

secretsolitaire for the fabulous beta job; you are awesome beyond words. Secondly, a heartfelt thank you to

snegurochka_lee; had I not read her decidedly brilliant A Life So Very Much Less Than Ordinary, I would never have been able to figure out how to play with large family casts. I still don't manage it nearly so deftly as she does. And finally, this was written for

tnl_first_time, a brilliant little fest that I had a blast with. The original post of this story, with prompt, etc. included, can be found there.
Summary: Someone’s setting fires in Wizarding London, and Teddy Lupin’s going to have to marry a Potter.

( A Small Spark Neglected, 1/3 )

A Small Spark Neglected, part 2. Please see the header post for more information.

( A Small Spark Neglected, 2/3 )

A Small Spark Neglected, part 3. Please see the header post for more information.

( A Small Spark Neglected, 3/3 )

So, first

asimaiyat took William Carlos Williams and MADE HIS MOST FAMOUS POEM INTO A FABULOUS WHITE COLLAR FIC. And this filled me with such glee that I was forced to take an old classic, Edgar Allen Poe's The Raven, and, uh, twist it to my own dirty OT3 ways:

The Anklet
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I languished, weak and weary
'pon the bench of a cold prison cell I'd sought to leave before
There came the sound of papers, twisting through the air like rapiers,
Papers spelling out my freedom from these tick-marked walls of yore
"Shall I stay in here," I muttered, "left to rot just like before?"
Quoth Agent Peter: nevermore!

I stepped into sunlight blinding, already full of plots unwinding
ways to shake my obligation and turn to crime forevermore,
But old Peter, he was clever, he knew without some leash I'd never
shake my compulsion, aye, my tether to the thieving I adore
Thus he bound me, so whenever I 'ere too far beyond my door
Quote the anklet: nevermore!

To the sharp rule-bending chase to each as yet unsolved case
I turned to quench my boredom, and found it to be a cure
And it came to my attention (perhaps it does not bear to mention)
That my own captor's body I had now come to adore
And I wanted just to touch it, that rough body I adore
Only this, and nothing more.

But my fantasy was seasoned when at last I turned to reason;
He was married, curse the fates, to a love that came before.
And so I kept the safest distance, tried to play up my resistance
So I would not succumb to behavior of which he would deplore,
Yes, behavior of which even my OWN heart would deplore
(And it's made bad calls before)

Still--alas!--he came to trust me and one night on a case he brushed me
and I felt his warm erection tap upon my own back door
"Peter," said I, "can you?" and he looked at me, a man who
needed his wife's permission before we tried for something more
"Elizabeth," said Peter, "may we try for something more?"
Quote Elizabeth: for sure!

Now as I ponder, faintly mooning, pressed between my lovers spooning,
The tracker they removed today from upon my ankle sore
I remember faintly thinking that on the day that it stopped blinking
I'd run off to Tahiti, resume my crimes of long before
But leave this family that I've gathered, these people I adore?
Leave them for a life of thievery I surely would abhor?
Quote Neal Caffrey: nevermore.

---

NOW...

EVERYONE BLASPHEME A FAMOUS POEM IN THE COMMENTS. GO GO GO GO!

(Alternately: COMMENT WITH FAMOUS POEMS YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE BLASPHEMED. THIS IS A MEME I CAN GET BEHIND, YO.)

HAHAHA. I CLAIM VICTORY OVER GIRL!NEAL.

First: a MASSIVE thank you to

hoosierbitch, who: prompted this, held my hand, held my hand some more, encouraged me madly, waited patiently through my various crises, and TOTALLY DESERVES THIS, SHE PUT MORE WORK INTO IT THAN I DID :D

And second: uh, yes, I am totally using an ABRAHAM LINCOLN QUOTE for the title of my SEXSWAP PORN. I am SO SORRY, Abraham Lincoln. Rolling over in your grave like that can't be comfortable.

Title: Whatever You Are (Be a Good One)
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Peter/Neal/El
Warnings: Sexswap.
Spoilers: Nope!
Summary: Peter should have known better than to let Neal into any situation involving the words "touch nothing."
A Note on Pronouns: This is a sexswap fic. To be more specific: in this fic, Neal is temporarily turned into a woman. Peter narrates this story, and refers to Neal as "he" throughout. This is because Neal's gender identity remains male for the duration of this story. His body is switched by accident and against his will, and he does not think of himself as female; thus, he is not referred to that way. If this were a story in which Neal's gender identity was female, I would of course switch pronouns. Ok? Ok.

[ETA 4/12/10: Having now read

iambickilometer's excellent post on transgender issues in fandom, I have realized that in calling this a genderswap fic, I was making a mistake. This is, in fact, a SEXswap fic, in which Neal changes biological sex, not gender. Apologies! And please do let me know if I've made any other mistakes; as I mentioned in the comments, the last thing I am trying to do with this fic is hurt or offend the transgender community.]

( Peter knows it's going to be a bad day when they receive the double finger point immediately upon entering the office. )