gyzym

So! You have stumbled upon my journal. If you're here for the fic, congratulations! You've come to the right place. If you don't know about the fic: hello! I am gyzym, and I write fanfiction. Most of it is slash (male/male) fanfiction; if this is not your cup of tea, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, HEAD FOR THE HILLS.

All right, now that that's sorted, here's how this works: fic is divided by fandom and 'verse. Links and summaries and pairings are here; every link takes you to the top of the page in question, where you will find ratings, warnings, author's notes, etc. Please do not read anything rated R or higher if you are not of age where you live.

( Hawaii 5-0 )

( Inception )

( Sherlock Holmes )

( White Collar )

( Harry Potter )

( Veronica Mars )

On the Topic of Tags:
Yeah, um. I find it hilarious to use inane, random tags on my posts. Because, um. Because it is hilarious?

In any case, the tags that I use to streamline fic posting are (probably) all attached here.

On the Topic of Full Disclosure and Credit Where Credit is Due
Full disclosure: the username is an Allen Ginsberg reference; the journal title is from an e.e. cummings poem.

Additionally, I do not own any of the characters I play about with in my fanfiction, nor do I own most of the titles of said works--they're pulled from song lyrics, by and large. I'm not making any money from this, I have no intention of doing so, I claim no ownership of anything, and I don't mean to cause distress/offense/copyright infringement.

On the Topic of Problematic Elements in My Fiction
Should you find something, whilst reading one of my stories, that offends you/is incorrect/could offend others/is in any way problematic, please please please do not hesitate to tell me. I will never spew hate at you, I will never attack you, and I will always thank you for taking the time to let me know.

On the Topic of Non-Fic Things Discussed Herein
Sometimes I talk about my family! They're crazy, but generally in a hilarious way. Because my name, like it or not, has become Jizz/Jizzy (I really didn't mean to name myself after semen, I really didn't, I THOUGHT IT WAS AN INNOCENT ALLEN GINSBERG REFERENCE OKAY, I WAS YOUNG) a hilarious conversation ended up producing the following names for my brothers:

Burro Punch/Burro: My 19-year-old (frat boy) brother
Burrito Punch/Burrito: My 11-year-old (sixth grader) brother

Because...donkey punch...and ito is a...diminutive...anyway. THE POINT BEING, if I am referring to Burro&Burrito, they are my little brothers :D

Additionally, I have a non-fandom blog over on blogspot, called Illegible Address. It makes a concentrated effort to make it amusing; I'd love it if you guys felt like checking it out! Look, there's even an easy-click button:



On the Topic of Friending
By all means, feel free to friend me. Everything fandom related is public, and so is most everything else, though I don't post much that isn't fandom related these days. I always like meeting new people! I don't always friend back, which is NOT about you, but rather my utter inability to be responsible and proactive about replying to emails/notifications/whatever. It's a character flaw.

If you DO friend me, please do me the favor of dropping a hello into this post. I want to know what you're about! Also, I am often distracted by writing gay porn, and sometimes it takes me ages to actually pay attention to anything other than my bajillions of open Word documents. By which I mean: oh, god, you guys, I can be really terrible about answering comments, but that does not mean I am not a) reading them and b) feeling INSANE GRATITUDE towards anyone leaving them. I just, augh, I get all bogged down in writing and then it's been too long and I feel like an asshole and THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR ME, I AM SORRY.

Tl;dr summary? I'M KIND OF FLAKY SOMETIMES, BUT I DO ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOU ALL ♥

Ahahahaha oh my god, it's a WIP titles meme, totally ganked from sorrynotsorry et al. THIS SAYS A LOT ABOUT MY WRITING PROCESS: to wit, that it is a mess. These are actual titles of actual documents, and I actually know what (almost) all of them mean. Also, enough of them contain parentheses--in the RIDICULOUS DOC TITLES THAT ARE NOT ACTUALLY FIC TITLES--that I had to differentiate my comments by putting them in brackets. In conclusion, fml fml fml.

( Seriously, this is solid proof that I'm out of my mind )

TO SUM UP: run from me now, I am obviously not good for anyone's health, least of all my own, and oh god please do not hold me to producing any of these, the end.

I might as well call today National Jizzy Talks About Fandoms That Aren't Inception Day, because I'm making this post to flail about last night's White Collar and to rec (of all things) a Merlin fic, and then tonight I'll be posting 15-20K of Veronica Mars nonsense (wordcount pending final edits, cuts from three scenes, and the het porn I have to write this afternoon).

I could, based on the above, call it National Jizzy Writes Run-On Sentences Day, but I feel like that'll only doom me on the het porn before I start.

OKAY SO, uh, first, I need to talk about White Collar, just briefly. I know it's been forever since I did a post-ep reaction, but there was a lot last night that I think is worth talking about, just from a character development angle.

( Here there be spoilers )

Anyway, the *second* thing I have to do here is post an enthusiastic rec for the Merlin fic everyone's been talking about: Pairing Pendragon/Merlin, by Anon, in which Arthur is a BNF and Merlin is his beta. And, now, look, normally I don't rec fics already touted all over the place, because I feel like that asshole who is late to the party going I BROUGHT BEER...OH, BUT I SEE YOU...HAVE BEER...

But here's the thing, guys. When I see people from a fandom I'm not in going "Read this fic from my fandom, you don't need to know the canon," I tend to think, "Pshaw, you only think that because you know the canon so well you don't have to think about it, I WILL ONLY BE CONFUSED." I am sure I have missed out on a number of fantastic fics because of this, but there you go. In order to read a fic in a fandom where I don't know the canon, I have to have it basically shoved down my throat.

HOWEVER, if someone who is *not* in the fandom says, hey, I'm not in this fandom and I loved this fic, then I tend to sit up and take notice.

So hear this, people of my flist: I am not in the Merlin fandom. I have never been in the Merlin fandom. I have not watched even one episode of Merlin, because I know if I did I'd end up writing fic, and I can't have another fandom and continue sleeping, it's just not possible. My ENTIRE INTERACTION with Merlin fandom has been:

1) Reading this fic augustbird kindly forced on me (STILL GRATEFUL, BTW) where Arthur was a frat boy and Merlin was like...his partner in English class? I don't know, but it was amazing--and actually if augustbird or anyone else knows what fic I'm talking about, PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LINK ME, I read it months ago and then lost it, and I'd like to read it again

2) Reading Teaching The Indie Kids To Joust Again, which a) is actually Bradley/Colin RPS and not Merlin fic at all and b) I loved and everything, but only read because (sorry, bookshop) I was so captivated by the title

3) Reading this fic I'm reccing to you now and

4) Watching The Sword in The Stone so many times the year I turned seven that my parents eventually had to take the tape and burn it. At least, that's what my father tells me they did with it--my mom says it broke on its own, but, knowing them, I'm thinking the burning is more likely.

SUFFICE TO SAY, THE MERLIN FANDOM AND I ARE NOT SECRET BOSOM BUDDIES OR ANYTHING. I don't lurk there, I'm not a closet Merlin fan, I have no investment in telling you to read this fic. We are two roads diverged in a yellow wood, the Merlin fandom and I. I am the East and it is the West and never the twain shall meet, etc.

But this story, you guys, is just--I mean, aside from the obvious meta inherent in a fanfic about fandom, which others have talked about with far more intelligence and poise than I ever could--this is just straight up good storytelling. It's engaging on every level, the characters are sharp and believable and awkward and gorgeously rendered, and the whole thing is just a joy, an absolute joy to read. And I say that with no base knowledge of the canon--I say that because you guys should give it a try, regardless of your fandom proclivities. I would buy this as original fiction, and I do mean buy it, with money, like an adult. I would buy it with pride.

OKAY, I THINK I'VE PUT OFF WRITING HET PORN FOR LONG ENOUGH NOW. And, because I do feel guilty about the lack of Inception in this post, here is something you'd have to be soulless not to enjoy:


IT'S ARTHUR AND EAMES AS BABY OTTERS. NO ONE CAN ARGUE WITH THAT. ♥

OH ALSO, ages ago elrhiarhodan said "Hey, can you write a fic for whitecollarswap?" and I was like, "Yeah!"

And then, you know, Inception blah blah distractions blah blah ANYWAY HERE'S THAT FIC YO.

Title: I'm A Man of Means By No Means (King of the Road)
Pairing: Peter/Neal/El
Rating: PG to PG-13
Summary: In which everyone deserves a vacation, Neal is not the least obnoxious passenger ever, and Slim Jims are decidedly superior to Combos.

( I'm A Man of Means By No Means (King of the Road) )

Look at me, stealing this idea from everyone ever! But whatever, it's cool.

Pick a paragraph (or any passage less than 500 words) from any fanfic I've written [and include a link to the story], and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet...

All my fic can be found at my masterlist/header post, except for the first installment of that H/W grad student fic, which is here and may not go up on the masterlist until it's a complete work.

Okay: go!

OH HAI, FREE MUSIC.

I present to you, after seriously like a month of promising it, THE WHITE COLLAR FANMIX.

Okay, well, uh. *A* White Collar fanmix, anyway. I managed to cut it down to 21 songs for this one, but I'm sure that I will, at some point, do this some more.

Some things everyone should know before they click on the cut:

1) I am a writer and a music lover and, ALAS, an absolute failure as an artist, so there is no cover art. Because I'm Doing it Wrong, but I'm also hooking you guys up with a bunch of awesome songs, so it comes out about even. Right? Right.
2) My grasp on the technology involved in doing this is probably not as good as it should be. LET ME KNOW IF YOU HAVE PROBLEMS :D
3) I have, um, reaaaaally eclectic music taste. If you come across a song in the .zip you don't like, delete it from your iTunes! But please do not play the "omg, my music is better than your music," game, I will choke a bitch. ALL MUSIC IS AWESOME, even if it not necessarily someone's cup of tea. I, for example, loathe Captain Beefheart, but I do not think less of you if you love him.
4) People who are not White Collar fans--all of these songs can be interpreted multiple ways, for multiple pairings. Feel free to throw a HP or SH pairing at me around a specific song, I'll write you a drabble for your trouble. And actually, WC folks, you're welcome to request song-based drabbles as well.
5) I am really sorry about all the Ani Difranco. I COULDN'T PICK BETWEEN THEM.

Alright, FORMALITIES OVER. It is now time for.... *drumroll*

( OH, YEAH, THAT WHITE COLLAR FANMIX )

Download it here, folks.

Okay so:

The campus internet has decided today that my f-list is too dirty for me to view. THIS IS FRUSTRATING ON A NUMBER OF LEVELS: first, there is the fact that I was to know what is going on with y'all. And second, this means that THERE IS SOME KIND OF HOT SOMETHING GOING ON THAT I AM NOT VIEWING.

So, here's my plan--let's stick it to the campus. Even if they block this entry from me (and they might--some of my own dirtier stories are blocked on the internet here, which makes me laugh, because I WROTE THEM, GUYS, YOU CANNOT BLOCK ME FROM MY OWN BRAIN), all my comments will come through to my Gmail account.

So, here is is: THE FIVE ACTS MEME. With the added bonus of sticking it the man, Mozzie-style.

( Five Acts )

In conclusion: FIGHT THE POWER, WRITE SOME PORN :D

[ETA: Indeed, the campus internet WILL NOT allow me to see the comments of this post. I can edit the entry, but not see/reply to the comments. IT KNOWS WHERE THE PORN IS. But thosewerepearls, by ALL MEANS do number 5 (!!!) and photoash OHMYGOD THAT IS HOT and speccygeekgrrl I am glad I am not the only one to find that kink valid and themkshrine I am so excited already to see what you do with it. And everyone who comments after this, your comments are DEEPLY APPRECIATED and BEING READ via Gmail and I WILL ANSWER YOU AFTER 5 PM WHEN I AM BACK TO INTERNET THAT DOESN'T HATE PORN. I love you guys :D]

[ETA AGAIN: WOW. It let me answer ONE COMMENT AND THEN STOPPED AGAIN WHAT THE HELL INTERNET I GIVE UP ON YOU]

[ETA A THIRD TIME: In response to the emails/comments/messages to the effect that LJ is blocking a ton of people from comments--THAT TOTALLY SUCKS. However, I am sure that is not the cause of my problem, or at least not the only cause. Why, you ask?

Well, because when *I* try to see my comments, a screen comes up that says "Web content filtered. Reason: sex." HILARIOUS AND FRUSTRATING, NO?]

So, first asimaiyat took William Carlos Williams and MADE HIS MOST FAMOUS POEM INTO A FABULOUS WHITE COLLAR FIC. And this filled me with such glee that I was forced to take an old classic, Edgar Allen Poe's The Raven, and, uh, twist it to my own dirty OT3 ways:

The Anklet
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I languished, weak and weary
'pon the bench of a cold prison cell I'd sought to leave before
There came the sound of papers, twisting through the air like rapiers,
Papers spelling out my freedom from these tick-marked walls of yore
"Shall I stay in here," I muttered, "left to rot just like before?"
Quoth Agent Peter: nevermore!

I stepped into sunlight blinding, already full of plots unwinding
ways to shake my obligation and turn to crime forevermore,
But old Peter, he was clever, he knew without some leash I'd never
shake my compulsion, aye, my tether to the thieving I adore
Thus he bound me, so whenever I 'ere too far beyond my door
Quote the anklet: nevermore!

To the sharp rule-bending chase to each as yet unsolved case
I turned to quench my boredom, and found it to be a cure
And it came to my attention (perhaps it does not bear to mention)
That my own captor's body I had now come to adore
And I wanted just to touch it, that rough body I adore
Only this, and nothing more.

But my fantasy was seasoned when at last I turned to reason;
He was married, curse the fates, to a love that came before.
And so I kept the safest distance, tried to play up my resistance
So I would not succumb to behavior of which he would deplore,
Yes, behavior of which even my OWN heart would deplore
(And it's made bad calls before)

Still--alas!--he came to trust me and one night on a case he brushed me
and I felt his warm erection tap upon my own back door
"Peter," said I, "can you?" and he looked at me, a man who
needed his wife's permission before we tried for something more
"Elizabeth," said Peter, "may we try for something more?"
Quote Elizabeth: for sure!

Now as I ponder, faintly mooning, pressed between my lovers spooning,
The tracker they removed today from upon my ankle sore
I remember faintly thinking that on the day that it stopped blinking
I'd run off to Tahiti, resume my crimes of long before
But leave this family that I've gathered, these people I adore?
Leave them for a life of thievery I surely would abhor?
Quote Neal Caffrey: nevermore.

---

NOW...

EVERYONE BLASPHEME A FAMOUS POEM IN THE COMMENTS. GO GO GO GO!

(Alternately: COMMENT WITH FAMOUS POEMS YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE BLASPHEMED. THIS IS A MEME I CAN GET BEHIND, YO.)

HAHAHA. I CLAIM VICTORY OVER GIRL!NEAL.

First: a MASSIVE thank you to hoosierbitch, who: prompted this, held my hand, held my hand some more, encouraged me madly, waited patiently through my various crises, and TOTALLY DESERVES THIS, SHE PUT MORE WORK INTO IT THAN I DID :D

And second: uh, yes, I am totally using an ABRAHAM LINCOLN QUOTE for the title of my SEXSWAP PORN. I am SO SORRY, Abraham Lincoln. Rolling over in your grave like that can't be comfortable.

Title: Whatever You Are (Be a Good One)
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Peter/Neal/El
Warnings: Sexswap.
Spoilers: Nope!
Summary: Peter should have known better than to let Neal into any situation involving the words "touch nothing."
A Note on Pronouns: This is a sexswap fic. To be more specific: in this fic, Neal is temporarily turned into a woman. Peter narrates this story, and refers to Neal as "he" throughout. This is because Neal's gender identity remains male for the duration of this story. His body is switched by accident and against his will, and he does not think of himself as female; thus, he is not referred to that way. If this were a story in which Neal's gender identity was female, I would of course switch pronouns. Ok? Ok.

[ETA 4/12/10: Having now read iambickilometer's excellent post on transgender issues in fandom, I have realized that in calling this a genderswap fic, I was making a mistake. This is, in fact, a SEXswap fic, in which Neal changes biological sex, not gender. Apologies! And please do let me know if I've made any other mistakes; as I mentioned in the comments, the last thing I am trying to do with this fic is hurt or offend the transgender community.]

( Peter knows it's going to be a bad day when they receive the double finger point immediately upon entering the office. )

First, a WC rec. If you have not yet read elrhiarhodan's fabulous, fabulous Neal/Peter story Wash the Sins Away, then IT IS TIME THAT YOU DO. She summarizes it like this: A conversation that Neal was prepared for, but one that Peter never wanted to have. I, on the other hand, summarize it thusly: utterly heartbreaking in some places and uplifting in others and HOT LIKE BURNING ALL OVER. And, just, wow. This piece tugs at your heartstrings like you would not believe, and deals with some rough topics, and it's all so deftly handled. WOW.

Also, a HP rec, for a fic that has gotten nowhere NEAR enough love. It's called Some Days are Diamonds (Some Days are Rocks). I think that it hasn't reached the readership that it could have because of the listed pairing, which is "variations on Charlie/James/Teddy" in the subject line. However, at its core, this is a Teddy/James story: a brilliantly written, compelling, convincing Teddy/James story. Even if you're not much for HP, try this out. SERIOUSLY. You will not regret it.

And now, back to frantically writing.