gyzym

HELLO HELLO INTERWEBS.

I apologize for being a little MIA, shit has been busy etc etc holiday parties etc etc limited time etc etc OMG YULETIDE all of things etc etc etc etc. I have a lot of things to say! But, first and foremost, I would like to let everyone know that (drumroll please):

I HAVE NAMED MY BROTHERS.

Yes, it's true, everyone clap, I know you are as thrilled as I am about this. AND EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT, I am deeply relieved not to have to keep typing out "the nineteen year old" and "the eleven year old" every six seconds. And I guess I should probably...tell you...the names. So, uh, basically what happened is two_if_by_sea suggested I call one of them Donkey Punch because she's hilarious and horrifying and stuff, and then that mutated into:

Burro Punch/Burro: My 19-year-old frat boy brother
Burrito Punch/Burrito: My 11-year-old sixth grade brother

You know, because burro means...donkey and "ito" is an...affectionate diminutive...okay anyway HURRAY FOR CATHY! I will probably mostly be calling them Burro and Burrito, TBH :D BUT AT LEAST THEY ARE NAMED NOW.

Speaking of my brothers, ( the other night Burro and I got high and he unwittingly outlined a hilarious Inception fic with me. )

So, you know, that was the best ten minutes of my life.

And now, because it's been ages since I posted fic and I feel legit bad about that (although I am working on things I swear I am) here is a WIP dump!

( 1200 words of unfinished top!Arthur PWP )

( 2,000 words of...um, drunk blowjob porn )

( That coffeeshop AU drabble that I posted on Nellie's AU thinger awhile back )

( And a coffeeshop AU drabble never before seen by the internet )

Will these coffeeshop scenes make it into the coffeeshop sequel? Er, maybe. Which brings up the question: is there going to be a coffeeshop sequel? Er...probably. BUT I DON'T KNOW WHEN, GUYS, IT MIGHT BE MONTHS FROM NOW, DON'T HOLD ME TO ANYTHING, OKAY?

Also I'm working on this other thing. I'll tell you guys about it soon, when it's done. For now, I have a Yuletide to write (oh god) and nails to paint and, hopefully, coffee to drink. HAPPY SATURDAY, GUYS :D

For more information, please see Part One.

( I've Got Nothing To Do Today But Smile (The Only Living Boy in New York), 2/2 )

...um. So. I wrote some new domestic!verse fic. This was supposed to be a quick little story about shit breaking in Arthur & Eames' house, but they had...other plans. And now it's 16K? And not really about shit breaking so much? So, you know, there's that.

Sometimes I despair of my life, you guys.

angelgazing says this one is my fault; I suspect, secretly, that she is still to blame, but for the sake of not making her sputter with rage I will just thank her for being the devil angel on my shoulder :D

Title: having let go forever the fallacy of ever being alone
Pairing: Arthur/Eames
Rating: NC-17
Wordcount: 16,200
Summary: This time there are shitty dogeared paperbacks Arthur wouldn't be caught dead reading piled on the coffee table, and half-finished crosswords tucked into the bookshelves, and the far wall is hung with that tapestry they'd bought in a shit part of London on a whim. This time they've spent all day fixing their sink and there's a mug of yesterday's tea sitting on top of the television and it's not just Arthur's living room at all.
Author's Note: This story is the eighth in a series called Wherever You Will Be (That's Where I'll Call Home), also known as the domestic!verse; the link takes you to the series master post.

( having let go forever the fallacy of ever being alone [1/2] )

HILARIOUS THING NUMBER ONE:

So, I changed my lj name thing to "and zeus was like yeah i've had allll the bitches" after that conversation with angelgazing the other day, because I was laughing so hard I could not breathe and she said I should. I did that, and I forgot about it, and today I got an email from LJ to notify me that I have to buy more paid time that was ADDRESSED TO "and zeus was like yeah i've had allll the bitches." Like, literally, it read "Dear and zeus was like yeah i've had allll the bitches, your paid account will expire in blah blah blah."

I laughed so hard I did not even mind realizing how VERY QUICKLY 6 months have gone by.

HILARIOUS THING NUMBER TWO:

My family is officially too large for anyone's good. I know this because I came into the coffee shop today and I saw a woman sitting in the corner and I thought "Huh, she looks familiar." And I got my coffee and saw her looking at me with that same expression on her face, that how-do-I-know-you expression, and I was like, hmmm, we must have met somewhere. But she left while I was getting my coffee and I've been thinking about it since and five minutes ago I realized: THAT WAS MY AUNT NORMA.

I mean, really, just, what.

(HOPEFULLY?) HILARIOUS THING NUMBER THREE:

I feel guilty about how long the stupid wedding fic is taking me (WRITE YOURSELF, LAST SCENE, I WANT TO BE WORKING ON THE NEXT DOMESTIC!VERSE FIC), so I wrote you guys some total crack! Hopefully the wedding thing will be done at some point today, but who can tell. If the title of this does not make sense, please proceed to your nearest Blockbuster and rent Little Shop of Horrors. Or see a live production! It is pretty much amazing.

Title: Don't Feed Me, Seymour
Rating: PG? PG-13?
Pairing: Arthur/Eames
Summary: "This looks delicious," Eames fucking lies, because the only accurate statement would be This looks like intestines, and he would like Arthur to continue to shagging him.

( Don't Feed Me, Seymour )

What's the best way to wind down from writing 10K of angsty grief fic? Why, by writing 5K of ridiculous Trojan War AU crack, of course!

I'd like to state for the record that the actual mythology behind the Trojan War is nothing at all like this. It is much, much better. I changed things around and I totally fucked with everything and actually, really, this whole thing is like me turning to Homer and saying "I bite my thumb at you, sir." Additionally, today's Blame Game winners are my high school Latin teacher, who turned me into a mythology nerd, aredblush, who drew this adorable sketch of Cupid!Arthur and Zeus!Eames and thus gave me the idea for fucking about with this concept, and angelgazing, because she linked me to said sketch and because everything is her fault forever.

But, um. Enjoy?

Title: Lay Your Siege
Pairing: Arthur/Eames [Cobb/Mal]
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 4846
Summary: Haven't you been paying attention? This is a war story.

( Lay Your Siege )

Domestic!verse sickfic. I...don't even know what to say for myself about this one, you guys. I really don't.

Title: to tell you the truth i prefer the worst of you
Pairing: Arthur/Eames
Rating: R
Wordcount: 6744
Summary: Eames starts the day by sitting on a pack of cigarettes.
Author's Note: This story is the fourth in a series called Wherever You Will Be (That's Where I'll Call Home); the link takes you to the series master post.

( to tell you the truth i prefer the worst of you )

Oh, look, it's the sequel to between my reflex & my resolve and this life looks good on you, also known as domestic!fic, also known (in my brain) as "The Arthur & Eames Lead a Charming if Mildly Dysfunctional Domestic Life 'Verse." Now with 25% more filthy porn!

Also, Arthur being Jewish is now part of my person canon, because in 6-odd years in various fandoms, I have LITERALLY NEVER come across a Jewish character with whom I could quietly use my own heritage/considerable knowledge for fodder. For anyone who is wondering when they reach that part of the story, a Nova boy is a sandwich served in Jewish delis, made of a bagel, cream cheese, smoked salmon, tomato, onion, and sometimes capers. They can be purchased many places, but are in fact best in New York. GOD IT MAKES ME HUNGRY JUST LOOKING AT THAT.

Title: i could be the thing you reach for in the middle of the night
Pairing: Arthur/Eames
Rating: NC-17
Wordcount: 5,087
Summary: Eames had always thought Arthur would be a morning person.
Author's Note: This story is the third in a series called Wherever You Will Be (That's Where I'll Call Home); the link takes you to the series master post.

( i could be the thing you reach for in the middle of the night )

Title: this life looks good on you
Pairing: Arthur/Eames
Rating: R
Summary: There are only four rules in Arthur's house.
Author's Note: This can be read as the sequel to between my reflex and my resolve, or not, if you prefer. I wrote them as separate pieces and then discovered that they worked together, so it's all up to you guys :D [Edit: It turned out to be the sequel after all. This story is the second in a series called Wherever You Will Be (That's Where I'll Call Home); the link takes you to the series master post.]

( this life looks good on you )