gyzym | Entries tagged with punched in the face by steve mcgarrett

hermette:

gyzym:
GJDSGHDJHFDKG

hermette:
WHAT EVEN IS THAT?

gyzym:
GFVFGFGFGCFGHJIUYTRFGBHJK
A COCK
I DON'T CARE
WHAT IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE
( IT'S A GIANT COCK )

ETA: OH MY GOD

wheres_walnut DREW ARTHUR AND EAMES AS OWLS, LIFE DREAM = REALIZED

Pupdate. The good news: she let me get close enough to take a picture this morning!!! Apologies for the shitty iPhone photo quality, but I wasn't about to break out a flash camera and scare her away again.

The bad news: that was this morning. I haven't seen her since I got back from work; I don't know if she's just out for a romp or gone for good, but I left some food out and we'll see if she comes back :( If she doesn't, I think I'm probably going to end up adopting a shelter puppy, because this has awakened a desire in me, I don't even. Animals need rescuing, and it's not that I didn't know that--I did! I do!--but I guess I'd just never...I don't know. /ramble

And, because people have been asking for it, a photo of Jerry, complete with the bone I had to give him to make him quit it with the live-action reenactment of this scene from Family Guy. I have no excuse for the shitty quality here, except that I didn't feel like going to get a proper camera and he wouldn't quit moving for anything.

ETA: OH WAIT I HAVE A BETTER PICTURE OF JERRY (kind of) IN MY PHOTOBUCKET, DUH. ( But it's gigantic, so it's under the cut. )

And now, for those of you who aren't reading this journal for today's edition of OMFG Jizz Loves Puppies!!!, here is a Danny/Steve fanmix. I did this one with like, blurbs and shit, but a) you needn't feel compelled to read them and b) if you're not into Hawaii 5-0, all of these songs are awesome in their own right, and you should feel free to listen/download anyway :D That fic I promised is done and beta'd, I just have to run through and do a final check, it'll be up at some point tonight.

Cut for extensive rambling, lyrics, and my patented inability to shut the fuck up about the goddamn Avett Brothers:

( The .zip file name is actually 'I Thought We Were Doing a Thing.' )

Dear H50 people on my flist:

I'm in the mood to write some H50 fic, but I'm not sure what, or how much, or how long, because sometimes I have days like this where the words are not readily apparent. SO: comment, yo. Gimme prompts, yo. IDEAS, YO, I WANTS THEM.

Basic rules: I make no promises about actually writing what you've prompted, because inspiration is something I am really atrocious at forcing when it isn't already there. This is a "I'm gonna do what strikes me" kind of thing; I'd like to say I WILL FILL THE FIRST TEN PROMPTS THAT COME IN or whatever, but guys, guys, I have absolutely no control over my own brain. It's possible that I'll end up writing 25 little mini-fics; it's possible that I'll take one prompt, mean to write four sentences, and come back in two weeks with 30,000 words. THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME, OKAY, I CAN'T HELP IT.

Basic rules continued: if you look in the comments and see something you want to write, DO EET, DO EEEEEET, PLEASE DO IT, I WILL CHEERLEAD YOU SO HARD YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW. Prompt with pictures, words, quotes, scenarios, music, whatever. And no bashing--not on characters, not on each other, not on prompts, not on fills, not on other fandoms, and not on Scotty Caan's height, okay, because that man has four inches on me and it's driving me crazy and I will cut you.

Alex would like to know what you're thinking about, guys! SCOTTY JUST WANTS YOU TO MAKE WITH THE PROMPTING.

♥

For more information, please see Part One.

( Curving Like the Ocean Toward You [2/2] )

Ahahahahahahahaha, uh, so, briefly, here's what happened here: weeks ago,

angelgazing was like, I am having a bad day, and I was like, I will write you fic with your favorite things in it! And then I wrote some fic, but I stalled out, and I remained stalled out until

hermette said FINISH THIS FINISH THIS and coaxed me to the end.

So, uh, because I am the one trickiest pony ever to only have one trick, here is...20K of trope-filled Steve/Danny curtainfic? And...um...oh, god, I've really got nothing else to even say.

Title: Curving Like the Ocean Toward You
Pairing: Steve/Danny
Rating: NC-17
Wordcount 20,500
Author's Note:

angelgazing, I'm apparently determined to write a ridiculously long love song to you in every fandom we share; this is the H50 edition, and I hope it passes muster. And

hermette, thank you--for the plotting help, for hand-holding, for the amazing beta job. I love you guys ♥
Summary: If it ain't broke, fix it anyway.

( Curving Like the Ocean Toward You [1/2] )

I TOLD YOU GUYS THERE WOULD BE FIC TODAY.

So, what happened here, basically, is that

hermette and I were talking about our shared love for caught in a rainstorm/soaking wet and freezing cold h/c fic. And she said, it is a shame about H50 being set in Hawaii, because that kind of can't happen when it's warm all the time. And I said, PSHAW, PSHAW, I WILL WORK AROUND THAT FOR THE SAKE OF THIS PLOT DEVICE, HERE, LET IT BE STORY TIME.

And then she took all my crazed caplocked rambling and turned it into an outline for me. And then she cheered me on through writing the damned thing. AND THEN SHE BETA-READ IT FOR ME, BECAUSE SHE IS A GODDESS. Seriously, this fic would have languished in my brain for all eternity, but instead here it is, in all its. Er. Shamelessness? Glory? Shameless glory?

IN ANY CASE: THANK YOU,

hermette. PLEASE ACCEPT THIS NONSENSE AS A TOKEN OF MY LOVE.

Title: bring you out under this flooded sky at any price
Pairing: Steve/Danny
Rating: NC-17
Wordcount: ~6800
Summary: In which Danny puts his family first, New Jersey weather is as unpleasant as advertised, and absolutely no one is impressed with Steve.

( bring you out under this flooded sky at any price )

So, my day has improved significantly for two reasons. The first is that there is some truth to the old adage "Someone has it worse than you," and today there is a face to couple with that saying. Somewhere out there, somewhere in the word, someone has it worse than me, and his name is ~~Jed Bartlett~~ Martin Sheen. Seriously, how much do you think Martin Sheen regrets getting out of bed this morning? I'm gonna go ahead and bet it's a lot.

SECONDLY,

hermette and I had a conversation based on a conversation I had with

andrealyn that has ~~sadly been lost to the annals of my email~~ IS IN THE COMMENTS,

andrealyn IS MY SAVIOR HOORAY. My point is, most of the ideas I put forth here can be credited directly to

andrealyn;

hermette's genius is, of course, all her own.

( In which Danny and Steve are...ducklings... )

IGNORE THE PIANO AND LOOK AT THESE DUCKLINGS. THESE DUCKLINGS ARE THE DUCKLINGS THAT COULD BE DANNY AND STEVE:

IN CONCLUSION: FANDOM. YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN. YOU KNOW YOU DO.

ETA: OKAY, LJ IS BEING A DICK AND NOT SENDING COMMENT NOTIFS WHAT THE HELL *FRANTICALLY REFRESHES POST*

ALSO

ALSO

QUACK 'EM DANNO

ETA SOME MORE: HOLY FUCK YOU GUYS aredblush DREW DUCKLING DANNY & STEVE IN THE COMMENTS DSJFDSFHDSJFDS

Oh, internet, I am having A Day.

I actually wrote a whole post about all of the things going wrong, and then I looked at it and thought, welp, this is whiny. So I am just leaving this last part, because it is at least sort of amusing.

-My firm actually hired a cute guy for once! This never ever happens, and I met him Monday, and he is both hilarious and excellent looking--think Dileep Rao in Inception, but skinnier and with shorter hair (same heart-stopping smile, though, hnnnnnng forever). He is adorkable in exactly the way I like, and it's been awhile since I've felt this kind of WHOA HEY OH MAN FJDSFHJDSKF attraction for someone, so, you know, hooray.

Problem: today I found out where his desk is. To get there, you must: go down a hallway, go down another hallway, go down a third hallway, turn into a fourth mini hallway, open a door, turn a corner, open another door and turn another corner. HOW DO YOU CASUALLY STOP BY SOMEONE'S DESK WHEN GETTING THERE MIGHT AS WELL INVOLVE SLAYING THE NEMEAN LION, YOU GUYS? I mean, seriously, I feel like I should don a sword and go on a quest for him, this is ridiculous.

It's a stupid problem, but come on, universe, make it a little easier on me, huh? Everyone else in my office is married, over the age of 50, or a gigantic asswipe, PLEASE JUST SLOW-PITCH ME THIS ONE.

IN CONCLUSION, HERE IS SCOTTY CAAN LOOKING NOTHING LIKE A WAITER TO IMPROVE YOUR DAYS, WHICH I HOPE ARE GOING BETTER THAN MINE:

♥

WAIT, WAIT, HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED, IT'S NOT MY FAULT.

Okay, so the other day was

illian's birthday, and I said "Oh hey, happy birthday, I will write you an H50 ficlet!" And then, later,

hermette and

thegrrrl2002 and I had this brief conversation about how Steve and Danny would have like, atrociously failtastic date nights. And I thought to myself, "Oh, self, here is what you will do! You will write a ficlet about Steve and Danny going on terrible terrible dates!"

Nine...thousand...words later...

Happy birthday,

illian. I hope you enjoy this,

hermette,

thegrrrl2002. The rest of you...should probably just give up on me now. I am clearly a lost cause.

Title: just like the barrel going over the falls (crying all the way down 'i never asked to be involved')
Pairing: Steve/Danny [Chin/Malia, Kono/Ben Bass]
Rating: R (boooordering on NC-17)
Wordcount: 8,720
Summary: Peer pressure convinces Danny and Steve (well, okay, just Steve) that date nights are a necessary part of a healthy relationship. They try them out. It...doesn't go well.

( just like the barrel going over the falls )

YOU GUYS

YOU GUYS

This time I dreamed (non-lucidly) that I was at some kind of like, I don't even know, Hollywood...outdoor party thing...that I think started out as my high school reunion...whatever, WHATEVER. The point is, Alex O'Loughlin ordered a bunch of strange little banana drinks and kept trying to like, go behind the bar and make them himself, and then once he was drunk he started asking me questions.

Questions about what women want.

And so I told him, right, we had this whole conversation about asking ladies out and the right way to do it and confidence boosters (and at one point I was like, MY ADVICE IS TO GO LOOK IN A MIRROR, SERIOUSLY, DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE) and the whole thing. Which, incidentally, is a conversation I've had many times with many guys, because I have brothers and I must send out some kind of "I will not mock you for not knowing the answers here" signal. So it's pretty rote, right, and finally O'Lough like, thanks me for my help and says he feels ready to do it now.

And I say, "So, who's the lucky lady?"

AND HE SAYS, "SNOOKI FROM JERSEY SHORE"

Right, so, iiiiiit's a bit of a blizzard up in Cleveland today, and I am mildly (read: very) snowed in. It's sad because I want coffee! But it's happy because I don't want to put on pants, so.

In between trying to do my job from my house, which would limit my ability to leave even if I *could* leave, I am working on fic and finding hilarious/delicious/etc things on the internet. So here, have some stuff:

1. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT WORKING AT A BOOKSTORE WAS LIKE (thanks,

arineat, I would never have seen this without you and IT BRIGHTENED MY DAY):

( Really I'm just trying to avoid getting work done )

OKAY, BACK TO WORK NOW. Hope you all are having fabulous days ♥

So, amongst the shitstorm of craziness I'm dealing with at my job this week, I've been assigned a task that I don't want to talk about because:

a) It is asinine
b) It is asinine
c) It involved a conversation in which I said, "Hey, can you forward me the email chain with the information I'll need," and the person who assigned me this task said, "No, I have deleted it, but I have a hard copy," which lead to me being given A 120 PAGE PRINTOUT OF OTHER PEOPLE'S EMAILS, WHAT DECADE IS THIS, WHO DOES THIS.

However. One of the things this task involves is me creating a world map marking off certain countries, and when I google image searched "world map labeled" for a reference, this is the first thing that came up. (To be fair, my work computer is running Internet Explorer Version Caveman; it was the second result to pop up when I ran the search on my Mac.)

DEAR WHOEVER MADE THIS MAP: I THINK YOU MISSED A SPOT

ETA: Apparently this map is actually about volcanoes, which kind of excuses the gaps, although it does not excuse Zaire or the fact that it is THE FIRST OR SECOND RESULT WHEN GOOGLING FOR A LABELED WORLD MAP.

But at least things make more sense now, y/y?

Those of you who've been around for awhile may remember the last time I made a post about a lucid dream; for those of you who are just joining us (and hello, by the way, lovely to meet you all :D), I...er. Well, sometimes I have dreams and realize that I'm dreaming while I'm dreaming, which is great, it's awesome, except for how I can't seem to put together any more than that. After last night's, I actually think my problem is an inability to recognize that I'm in control of my environment as well as myself, but that's not the point here.

The point is, I had a lucid dream last night, but in order to tell you that story, I have to tell you this story, which starts the same way most of my stories do: with the sentiment that my family is not particularly sane. You guys all know this already, but it bears repeating--constant repeating--because it is so deeply true. And sometimes, we get together and play a game we affectionately call Penalty Jeopardy.

Here's how Penalty Jeopardy works: you watch Jeopardy. When you get a question right, you get a high five. When you get a question wrong, you get a pinch. If you run a category, you get both (high fives for being awesome, pinches for being such a nerd).

Now, I should point out at this juncture that these aren't particularly painful pinches we're doling out. We're not coming out of this experience bruised or anything, barring that terrible week when Burrito, too young to understand the game or know his own strength, pinched the shit out of all of us indiscriminately for the whole half hour each night. It's a love-pinch, really, and is frankly nothing compared to the verbal abuse we fling at Alex Trebek, who, along with clowns (just, as a population), is the family nemesis.

So last night, we played Penalty Jeopardy, and it was the fucking Teen Tournament, and I ran a category that I can't remember the name of but was, essentially, "Give the meaning of these Spanish verbs."

Here, in case any of you are wondering, is my study history of languages other than English:

-Four years of high school Latin
-One year of high school French (things learned: "Je ne parle pas Francais" and "Je voudrais un sandwich")
-One quarter of college Italian (abandoned because I was just answering test questions in Latin)
-One day of college Chinese (which, okay, it was my first class on my first day of freshman year and I somehow ended up in an upper level course without realizing it, and when I went to do the homework that night there was this CD I had to play, and I turned it on and it said "*Five minutes of a language I don't speak at all*" followed immediately by "What did Joey have for dinner?" I DROPPED THAT CLASS LIKE IT WAS HOT, YOU GUYS. And then by the time I realized I'd been in the wrong level I was too freaked out by the experience to try again.)

So my family, naturally, was like HOW DID YOU DO THAT, and I was like IT'S BASIC VERBS FROM A ROMANCE LANGUAGE, THEY'RE ALL ROOTED IN LATIN, and then my father told me I need to stop indulging my Matilda complex, and I told him that the fact that he chooses to compare himself to Danny Devito in any capacity is not my issue, and then Alex Trebek snickered at someone like the asshole he is and we all yelled SHUT UP ALEX and went on with our game. Later, I watched the new 5-0 (oh my god oh my god etc), wrote a post-ep, and went to bed.

( And ALL OF THAT is, I think, why I blinked asleep in a dream featuring Danny Williams, Steve McGarrett, and 12 people speaking only in Latin. )