gyzym

Life lessons for Burrito at weekly family brunch this morning (Burro is leaving town again tomorrow, we are having a lot of Together Time to prepare, god help me):

1.
Burrito: Any friend of mine is my best friend.
Burro: That's not really how it works, little dude.
My Father: That's like saying "Any dog I see is my dog!"
Me: No, it's--okay, well, it's possible to have more than one best friend--
Burro: Or 'bro,' I call them my bros--
Me: But if all your friends were your best friends, the words wouldn't mean anything, you know?
My Father: All trees eat beans! See? Nonsense.
Me: ...Don't really think you're clearing it up for him there, Dad.

2.
My Father: *Asshole comment I've forgotten*
My Mother: Wow, persnippity much?
Burrito: Don't call Dad snippity!
Burro: Ahahaha, no, man, persnippity.
My Father: Which I absolutely am.
Me: There's no denying it.
Burrito: Hmm, okay. What does persnippity mean?
My Mother: Well--
Burro: How do you--
Me: It's sort of like--
My Father: Dickish.
Everyone: !!!!!
My Father: What? He asked!

THESE PEOPLE, WHAT EVEN.

In other news, I am off to a movie this afternoon, but round two of the Inspiration Meme has ALREADY EXCEEDED MY WILDEST EXPECTATIONS, OH MY GOD. You guys gotta go check it out, and post post post those things you want to add. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH AWESOME ♥ ♥ ♥!!!

Dear H50 people on my flist:

I'm in the mood to write some H50 fic, but I'm not sure what, or how much, or how long, because sometimes I have days like this where the words are not readily apparent. SO: comment, yo. Gimme prompts, yo. IDEAS, YO, I WANTS THEM.

Basic rules: I make no promises about actually writing what you've prompted, because inspiration is something I am really atrocious at forcing when it isn't already there. This is a "I'm gonna do what strikes me" kind of thing; I'd like to say I WILL FILL THE FIRST TEN PROMPTS THAT COME IN or whatever, but guys, guys, I have absolutely no control over my own brain. It's possible that I'll end up writing 25 little mini-fics; it's possible that I'll take one prompt, mean to write four sentences, and come back in two weeks with 30,000 words. THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME, OKAY, I CAN'T HELP IT.

Basic rules continued: if you look in the comments and see something you want to write, DO EET, DO EEEEEET, PLEASE DO IT, I WILL CHEERLEAD YOU SO HARD YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW. Prompt with pictures, words, quotes, scenarios, music, whatever. And no bashing--not on characters, not on each other, not on prompts, not on fills, not on other fandoms, and not on Scotty Caan's height, okay, because that man has four inches on me and it's driving me crazy and I will cut you.

Alex would like to know what you're thinking about, guys! SCOTTY JUST WANTS YOU TO MAKE WITH THE PROMPTING.

♥

1. Ahahahahahaha, so I woke up this morning to SEVENTY FIVE EMAILS from various points in the last week because apparently Gmail hates me, so if I owe you a comment response/email, I AM SUPER DUPER SORRY, I WILL GET ON THAT STAT.

2. APOLOGIES FOR HOW I LIGHTWEIGHT VANISHED, I WAS ILL AND THEN I WAS...ER...LAZY AND ILL? BUT I AM BACK NOW.

3. I've pretty much spent the last week mainlining Psych, largely because jdfnjdkfhdjskf James Roday. His face! His hilarity! His perfectly pronounced Spanish, Jesus fucking Christ. And, also, hello Dule Hill, I have missed you and your gorgeousness desperately since I crushed on you during The West Wing (which, I mean, seriously, that show as a young teen, do not even get me started--it was all, "Bradley Whitford! Rob Lowe! Dule Hill!" and I was all, "I am not even quite old enough to understand the wish to be in my bunk, but...but I think that's where I want to be"). Do not worry, though, Inception still holds my heart; I am currently writing one Psych fic and, um, I believe 15 Inception ones, so have no fear.

However, for the record, it's not like you can blame me, because these men? VERY ATTRACTIVE.

( You know that's right. )

4. OH MY GOD I AM SO BEHIND ON FIC WRITING MY MUSES WERE ASLEEP ALL WEEK BECAUSE I WAS SICK AND GROSS AND NOW I FEEL BETTER AND AM BACK IN MY COFFEESHOP AND GOING OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHINGGGGGGGG OH MY FUCKING GOD, SO, YOU KNOW, THERE IS THAT.

5. Happy Chanukah, fellow Jews on my flist! Happy first week of December, everybody else! ALL THE HEARTS FOR YOU GUYS. ALL OF THEM. ♥ ♥ ♥

6. EDITED TO ADD: I HAVE JUST REALIZED THAT BETWEEN MY ICON, MY MOODTHEME, AND THESE PICTURES, THIS POST FEATURES PHOTOS OF TOM HARDY, JGL, DULE HILL AND JAMES RODAY. CLEARLY THIS SHOULD BE MY NEW GOAL IN EVERY POST.

Current Mood: awake

Okay, um, look, I make no promises to adhere to the results of this poll because I AM CRAZY/HAVE SOME AUTHORITY ISSUES, APPARENTLY, but I do actually like. Want some. Direction? As to what would make you guys happy? BECAUSE I LIKE TO MAKE EVERYONE HAPPY, but I can't promise because sometimes I can't control what random idea decides it is the idea of the moment and and and--

--OH FUCK YOU GUYS JUST VOTE SO I CAN WORK ON SOMETHING Y/Y?

[Poll #1648412]

JGL THANKS YOU FOR YOUR PARTICIPATION:

dremiel did one of these music memes yesterday, and I LIKED IT VERY MUCH, SO NOW I AM DOING ONE.

...First lines of songs, this only reveals how odd my music taste is, one of these is from an off Broadway musical, DO NOT BETRAY YOUR OWN INTEGRITY BY GOOGLING! Correct guessers will get, you know, flailing from me and bragging rights and stuff? AND POSSIBLY THE FUCKING HOLLYWOOD AU, IF I CAN JUST FINISH IT.

1) The renegade feeling satisfied
You blinked and closed your eyes
[No Intention -- The Dirty Projectors]

probablyforsure

2) Somebody's Heine' is drowning my icebox
somebody's cold one is giving me chills
[Say It Ain't So -- Weezer]

jacquise

3) Well I guess I should confess that I am starting to get old
All the latest music fads all passed me by and left me cold
[Frank Turner -- Photosynthesis]

xrainbowcloud

4) Everyone tells you that the minute you get married
every other women in the world suddenly finds you attractive, well that's not true
(it only affects the kind of women you always wanted to sleep with)
[A Miracle Would Happen -- The Last Five Years]

etben

5) Oh, I do believe in all the things you see
What comes is better than what came before
[I Found A Reason -- Cat Power]

jacquise

6) Well I went to bed in Memphis and I woke up in Hollywood
I got a quarter in my pocket and I'd call you if I could
[Steve McQueen -- Sheryl Crow]

8ways

7) When I think back on all the crap I learned in high school
it's a wonder I can think at all
[Kodachrome -- Paul Simon]

greenapricot

8) Got a wife and kids in Baltimore, Jack
I went out for a ride and I never went back
[Hungry Heart -- Bruce Springsteen]

dremiel

9) I met you at a party, or on a crowded street
A silent singularity when glances chanced to meet
[Leaves and Kings -- Josh Ritter]

greenapricot

10) Life in the circus ain't easy, but the folks on the outside don't know
yeah the tent goes up and the tent comes down and all that they see is the show
[Freakshow -- Ani Difranco]

greenapricot

11) You were a child, crawlin' on your knees toward it
Makin' mama so proud, but your voice was too loud
[Kids -- MGMT]

osaraba

12) Like all the boys before, like all the boys, boys, boys
You left your blood stain on the floor
[Under the Sheets -- Ellie Goulding]

jacquise

13) Yeah there was a time I didn't like the love, I liked the climbers
I was no sister then, I was running out of time and one-liners
[As Cool As I Am -- Dar Williams]

dremiel

14) Your love made a slave of me
But the love you gave you took away from me
[Why When Love Is Gone -- The Like]

chaoticallyclev

15) Some folks are born made to wave the flag
Ooh, they're red white and blue
[Fortunate Son -- John Fogerty]

dremiel

Okay so so so last night

illian commented on that poetry post where EVERYONE IS BEING AWESOME AND POSTING FUCKING GORGEOUS POETRY, and he said (I am paraphrasing): it is like the kissing meme or the rimming or the fluff meme, but for poetry! And I thought, oh holy fuck, what a fabulous idea.

So, I am announcing: that post is now THE INSPIRATION MEME, because everyone has moments where they want to be struck by something beautiful. Go forth and post your favorite poems, your favorite photographs, your favorite pieces of art, your favorite songs. Post those things that make you stop and catch your breath and stare, the things that bowl you over and build you up. This is not so much about fandom--although should something strike you and push you into writing nutty little Siken-inspired ficlets, for example, or epic sagas or your own original poetry or anything, you may of course feel free to contribute it! Or not, if you'd rather--my point being, you can do this as a fandom thing and that is AWESOME, or you can do it as not-a-fandom thing and that is ALSO AWESOME.

And, yes, okay, this is totally a selfish thing to do, because GUYS, I WOKE UP THIS MORNING TO AN INBOX FULL OF HEARTWRENCHINGLY BEAUTIFUL POETRY AND I NEVER WANT IT TO END. But also, also, I am so so so so in favor of spreading the love and expanding the collective consciousness and bringing out the beauty--I was raised by hippies, okay--and I can't wait to see what speaks to everyone. I can't wait at all.

THE INSPIRATION MEME: SPREADING BEAUTIFUL THINGS SINCE LAST NIGHT AND HOPEFULLY UNTIL TOMORROW.

♥

Some things in no particular order:

1) So,

xxdoublexx finished that draft I told you about, and drew some other scenes from the coffeeshop AU as well, and I am posting about it here in addition to that other post because IT WOULD BE A SHAME IF YOU MISSED THIS. Seriously, it so gorgeous that I cannot even, you guys. In a similar vein,

ravyn_ashling drew ARTHUR IN HIS OWN ADORABLE BEANIE, and also I am the luckiest person in the world, I am still so bowled over by the love and response and just. Augh, you guysssss! ♥

2) I apologize for the fact that it's been like, a whole week since I posted fic, because I know that is a long time for me and stuff. I'm working on it! I just, I have these two domesticverse fics that I want to do but both of them want to be Eames POV and I'd FINALLY gotten that 'verse evened out POV wise and if I do three more there will be eleven fics in that series instead of just the ten and, you know, assorted sidestories, like I was originally planning, AND TEN PLEASES ME MORE THAN ELEVEN, and, um. None of this makes any sense, but I'm on it, yes? And also in theory the film AU, I'd really, really love to get past my writer's block on that one, if I could just pound out this one scene I'd be all set, because the rest would write itself, I know it would. BUT I AM WRITING A LITTLE CRACKY THING AND A BUNCH OF OTHER THINGS AND THERE WILL BE FIC SOON, I SWEAR.

3) HELLO AND WELCOME, NEW PEOPLE ON MY FLIST! There are a mystifying number of you, and I am deeply deeply flattered and very excited to get to know you all, but concerned that you may not understand that I am most sincerely out of my mind. As such, please be advised: I am, most sincerely, out of my mind. Should you decide to stay on anyway, be warned in advance that all I do is post fic and occasionally really ridiculous other shit, and also whatever you've heard about me is probably true, only, you know, more and worse. Especially if what you heard about was my insanity and my abysmally foul mouth :D

4) DEAR WEATHER, SUCK LESS, LOVE JIZZ

5) ( I did some. Um. Original...um. Would you read a novel that started like this? )

Current Mood: devious

Okay so what this is, right, is ME POINTING TO ALL OF THE OH MY GOD WTF HOW SO AMAZING ART people have done to go with the coffee shop AU which, just, seriously, you guys. I do not deserve you. I DO NOT DESERVE YOU AT ALL FDFNDFJDNSFKLJSDNFJ. I said it to Aja last night and I meant it: I am so overwhelmed with love that I cannot even breathe.

1)

sandrocks did this COMPLETELY GLORIOUS ARTWORK WITH ARTHUR AND EAMES AND FLOUR ASJDDSDKF. It is, seriously, so beautiful I could actually weep. And then she posted ANOTHER EQUALLY AMAZING PIECE in the comments and just. I just. Arthur is blushing and Eames and I just, I honest to god cannot even handle the amount of love.

2)

pen_pistola drew this OH MY GOD SO ADORABLE scene with Eames and Arthur sharing coffee and brownies and I just. I cannot look at it without grinning, I want to write odes and sing terrible love songs completely off key to it and her and EVERY FANARTIST EVER, OKAY.

3)

red_rahl drew CHIBI!ARTHUR AND CHIBI!EAMES WEARING THE BEANIEEEEEEEEE AND ARTHUR IS SITTING ON A MUFFIN AND EAMES IS LEANING ON GIANT COFFEE AND THE HEARTS IN MY EYES ARE ACTUALLY A MEDICAL CONDITION NOW, PEOPLE ARE STARING, AND THAT'S A LINK TO WHERE SHE POSTED IT IN THE COMMENTS OF THAT FIC BUT REST. ASSURED. THAT I WILL SWITCH IT TO A PERMALINK IF/WHEN SHE POSTS IT ELSEWHERE AND JUST JSFDFJSDKFDSKF.

4)

jacquise, who is a barista in RL (and let's just take a moment, guys, to THANK ALL THE BARISTAS WHO KEEP US IN COFFEE, because for real they are the best people ever), ACTUALLY WENT TO WORK AND MADE ARTHUR'S LATTE. I just. I seriously did actually squee aloud when I saw it. Just, I just. Oh my fucking god, how did all of you fabulous people come to exist, was there some kind of like, did you just spring into existence to improve my life??????

5)

xxdoublexx did DFDSKJFLSDFJKDSLFJ THIS AMAZING DRAFT THAT I CANNOT LINK YOU TOO BECAUSE SHE WENT AND LOCKED IT BECAUSE APPARENTLY "IT IS JUST A DRAFT" EVEN THOUGH IT IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL DRAFT IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD. So this is basically a placeholder for the finished version.

ETA 11/5/10 OH MY GOD I AM THE LUCKIEST PERSON IN THE WORLD PEOPLE ARE STILL MAKING ART:

6)

salvamisandwich drew THIS AMAZING VERSION OF THE HEAD MASSAGE SCENE. EAMES' APRON IS PAISLEY, YOU GUYS. It, just, and the expression on Eames' face and they both look so tired and it is JUST HOW I PICTURED IT BUT BETTER OH MY FUCKING GOD.

7)

pearljamz drew ARTHUR AND EAMES AND ARTHUR'S LAPTOP and, you guys, for serious, the level of detail in this is stunning and the way they're looking at each other and Arthur, go at once, GO AT ONCE. AHHHHH ALL THIS BEAUTY IS SO OVERWHELMING I MAY FAINT.

8)

sandrocks/

onthecount PAINTED (DO YOU SEE THAT WORD, THAT WORD IS PAINTED, JUST IN CASE WE ARE NOT CLEAR THAT MEANS SHE PAINTED IT OH MY GOD OH MY GOD) a MOTHERFUCKING SMALL VICES BAKERY HOLIDAY CARD. I JUST. I CANNOT EVEN. I HAVE SURPASSED GLEE AND GONE INTO SOME KIND OF LIKE. STUNNED. AMAZED. FDSFJDSFDSFHDSJFDHSJFSDHF STATE.

9) leightonton over at deviantart drew ARAIDNE AND YUSUF AND ARTHUR AND EAMES and they are ALL so beautiful, all of them, every last one, but oh my god Ariadne especially. She, just, this whole thing, I seriously do know these are the most incoherent recs in the world but for serious, you guys, I am SO IN LOVE WITH EVERYTHING THAT I CANNOT EVEN EXPLAIN.

ETA 11/7/10: SERIOUSLY OH MY GOD WHAT HOW AM I SO LUCKY HOW IS THERE MORE:

10)

xxdoublexx finished that draft I told you about, and also drew the scene with the BEER SINGING and and and and and THE MOST BEAUTIFUL DEPICTION OF THE SCENE WITH ARTHUR FREAKING OUT EVER EVER EVER, IT IS WAY BETTER THAN THE FIC AND IT WOULD BE A SHAME IF YOU MISSED IT. Seriously, it so gorgeous that I cannot even, you guys.

11) Guys. Guys.

ravyn_ashling drew ARTHUR IN HIS OWN ADORABLE BEANIE, do I really need to say anything more than that?

12)

norinoricat drew ARTHUR WITH THE BOX OF PASTRIES AND HE IS SO ADORABLE I CANNOT EVEN DSFJDSJFDSJFKDS.

SHOULD THERE BE MORE ART, I WILL BE ADDING LINKS HERE. IF I HAVE MISSED YOUR ART SOMEHOW, PLEASE TELL ME, ALTHOUGH BE PREPARED FOR ME TO JUST FALL OVER DEAD OF JOY. I SERIOUSLY DO THINK I AM GOING TO EXPIRE OF JOY. I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH I CANNOT EVEN.

PLEASE TO BE SHOWERING ALL THE BRILLIANT, BEAUTIFUL ARTISTS WITH LOVE, Y/Y?

♥

Okay, so, um, you guys, this is the thing: my personal life is in the shitter to degrees I cannot even explain, this has been up there in worst weeks of my life, and despite it I am doing okay. I am doing okay because the amount of love and support and just dsfjdkf I have gotten from you for this coffee shop fic is literally KEEPING ME SANE. There are just. There are nine pages of comments, I don't even, and every time someone pipes up to tell me that they enjoyed it my entire life gets so much better.

THANK YOU, YOU GUYS. I CANNOT THANK YOU ENOUGH, I REALLY, REALLY CAN'T.

And I was just, I was thinking about that and then I was listening to this song

angelgazing sent me last night that is literally the musical summary of that story (it's the last one on this mix, in case you were wondering), and I thought, well, you know what, I might as well make a soundtrack. Because, you know, the least I can do is offer you guys some free music in exchange for my sanity :D

So, uh, without further ado or some such thing:

( I've Got Nothing To Do Today But Smile: The Soundtrack )

This HILARIOUS AND BEAUTIFUL piece of artwork, which the amazing

dumbimps drew to go with that one story about the Disney princesses that one time.

I just, I mean, YOU GUYS. It is so lolworthy and epic and gorgeous and seriously, just, I am so in love with this fandom and

dumbimps that I CANNOT EVEN.

EVERYONE GO LOOK. EEEEEEEVERYONE.

I will be back VERY shortly with the sequel to this life looks good on you, but until then, SERIOUSLY, GO LOOK.

Dear Flist,

Please raise your hands if you read, have read, or have considered reading Inception fanfic, and would be willing to do me the favor of glancing over something? It's a giant pond of superfab writers, that fandom, and I just want someone to double-check that I'm not actively pumping out crap before I stick my feet in.

Um. Please?

Love & Kisses,
Jizz

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Look at me, stealing this idea from everyone ever! But whatever, it's cool.

Pick a paragraph (or any passage less than 500 words) from any fanfic I've written [and include a link to the story], and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet...

All my fic can be found at my masterlist/header post, except for the first installment of that H/W grad student fic, which is here and may not go up on the masterlist until it's a complete work.

Okay: go!

Ahahaha! I bought an iPhone. Now, those of you who have spoken to me on this topic know that I have long resisted doing so, largely because I think the people at AT&T are asshats. But today my Verizon phone died and the people there were BIGGER asshats, and I figured to hell with it. If I'm going to have to deal with asshats anyway, might as well do it with some Apple tech.

And oh my god, you guys, it was so worth it. This thing is UNBELIEVABLE. It knows where I am. It knows what I want. It has already put asshat in my predictive text. Woooo!

In conclusion, the RDJ tag on this post is a lie. Robert Downey Jr., this is not your fault. That tag is just my favorite.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Oh, look. THE PROMISED SEQUEL. Ask and YOU SHALL RECEIVE, FANDOM :D

Also, I clearly need to invest some time in finding Holmes icons.

Title: A Study in the Art of Proper Reciprocation
Pairing: Holmes/Watson
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: None
Author's Note: This is the immediate sequel to Things That Bear Repeating. If you would like to read this without reading that, all you need to know is this: in that fic, Holmes falls in the Thames on a case and nearly dies, and Watson gives him a lecture on the value of his life. Uh...involving his dick.
Summary: Holmes wakes to a mystery that is a decided pleasure to solve.

( It is the natural instinct of man, upon waking, to open his eyes and determine his surroundings. )

Dear Campus Internet,

Look, I promise not to READ that porn I wrote last night. I just want to answer the awesome comments people left for me. They made my Monday so much better, Campus Internet; I just want to say thanks, NO PORN INVOLVED. If I decide to read the porn, I will pull up the copy I saved on my hard drive. Or, you know, REMEMBER WRITING IT.

Sdfkskdmdk,
Me

--

Dear Stomach,

Now you're hungry? Now? We drove past 15 decent places to get food on the way here and you were all "No, no no, don't even think about it, that is a horrifyingly bad idea." Now my options are cafeteria food and vending machine fare, so you are just going to have to wait.

I hope this teaches you a lesson about the consequences of being a whiny bitch.

This is indeed what my middle finger looks like,
Me

--

Dear Professor,

I cannot tell you how irritating I find it that you make attendance for this class compulsory when ALL YOU DO is read the online book notes word for fucking word. So no, I don't feel guilty about using your class to read and write fanfiction. In fact, it is your fault.

Try some original content,
Me

--

Dear Sherlock Holmes,

WOW, YOU REALLY MAKE A MESS OF THINGS WHEN YOU MOVE INTO SOMEONE'S BRAIN, DON'T YOU. It's pretty adorable, actually. Don't stop.

I love you allllmost as much as Watson does,
Me

--

Dear Robert Downey Jr., Jude Law, and

niagarawoman,

Okay, guys. I work at a law office. At law offices, there are documents called requests for proposal, abbreviated to RFPs. Today, I was told that I get the lovely task of editing, reformatting and processing an entire host of these things. This in and of itself is not a problem; I am more than happy to do the job for which they pay me.

NO, THE PROBLEM IS HOW MANY QUESTIONS I ASKED MY BOSSES TODAY ABOUT RPF BY MISTAKE. Thank god they don't know what that means; I nearly died of embarrassment the first time and then COULD NOT STOP DOING IT. ARGH.

...But reading that story was still totally worth it,
Me

HELLO, ALL-KNOWING FLIST.

So I've had an incredibly shitty couple of days (improved greatly by YOU GUYS) and apparently my response to stress is...writing in new fandoms. Who knew? As such, here is a snippet of, of all things, Sherlock Holmes fanfic:

( Holmes/Watson fic! Well, really this part is gen with heavy slash or pre-slash implications, but the eventual finished fic will be decidedly Holmes/Watson. )

So, my question to you guys is: where do I go to READ Holmes fanfic? Where do I go to POST Holmes fanfic? Does anyone have any recs for TRULY AWESOME HOLMES FANFIC? Is there a canon guide somewhere, or do I have to traipse my way back through the canon I'm rereading right now anyway (oh, THE HARDSHIP)? For those of you who read actively in this fandom, AM I DOING IT WRONG?

I know someone, somewhere knows the answer to these questions. I PLACE MY TRUST IN YOU, FLIST. YOUR EVER-LOVING AWESOME SHALL WIN THE DAY.

Okay so:

The campus internet has decided today that my f-list is too dirty for me to view. THIS IS FRUSTRATING ON A NUMBER OF LEVELS: first, there is the fact that I was to know what is going on with y'all. And second, this means that THERE IS SOME KIND OF HOT SOMETHING GOING ON THAT I AM NOT VIEWING.

So, here's my plan--let's stick it to the campus. Even if they block this entry from me (and they might--some of my own dirtier stories are blocked on the internet here, which makes me laugh, because I WROTE THEM, GUYS, YOU CANNOT BLOCK ME FROM MY OWN BRAIN), all my comments will come through to my Gmail account.

So, here is is: THE FIVE ACTS MEME. With the added bonus of sticking it the man, Mozzie-style.

( Five Acts )

In conclusion: FIGHT THE POWER, WRITE SOME PORN :D

[ETA: Indeed, the campus internet WILL NOT allow me to see the comments of this post. I can edit the entry, but not see/reply to the comments. IT KNOWS WHERE THE PORN IS. But

thosewerepearls, by ALL MEANS do number 5 (!!!) and

photoash OHMYGOD THAT IS HOT and

speccygeekgrrl I am glad I am not the only one to find that kink valid and

themkshrine I am so excited already to see what you do with it. And everyone who comments after this, your comments are DEEPLY APPRECIATED and BEING READ via Gmail and I WILL ANSWER YOU AFTER 5 PM WHEN I AM BACK TO INTERNET THAT DOESN'T HATE PORN. I love you guys :D]

[ETA AGAIN: WOW. It let me answer ONE COMMENT AND THEN STOPPED AGAIN WHAT THE HELL INTERNET I GIVE UP ON YOU]

[ETA A THIRD TIME: In response to the emails/comments/messages to the effect that LJ is blocking a ton of people from comments--THAT TOTALLY SUCKS. However, I am sure that is not the cause of my problem, or at least not the only cause. Why, you ask?

Well, because when *I* try to see my comments, a screen comes up that says "Web content filtered. Reason: sex." HILARIOUS AND FRUSTRATING, NO?]

So, first

asimaiyat took William Carlos Williams and MADE HIS MOST FAMOUS POEM INTO A FABULOUS WHITE COLLAR FIC. And this filled me with such glee that I was forced to take an old classic, Edgar Allen Poe's The Raven, and, uh, twist it to my own dirty OT3 ways:

The Anklet
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I languished, weak and weary
'pon the bench of a cold prison cell I'd sought to leave before
There came the sound of papers, twisting through the air like rapiers,
Papers spelling out my freedom from these tick-marked walls of yore
"Shall I stay in here," I muttered, "left to rot just like before?"
Quoth Agent Peter: nevermore!

I stepped into sunlight blinding, already full of plots unwinding
ways to shake my obligation and turn to crime forevermore,
But old Peter, he was clever, he knew without some leash I'd never
shake my compulsion, aye, my tether to the thieving I adore
Thus he bound me, so whenever I 'ere too far beyond my door
Quote the anklet: nevermore!

To the sharp rule-bending chase to each as yet unsolved case
I turned to quench my boredom, and found it to be a cure
And it came to my attention (perhaps it does not bear to mention)
That my own captor's body I had now come to adore
And I wanted just to touch it, that rough body I adore
Only this, and nothing more.

But my fantasy was seasoned when at last I turned to reason;
He was married, curse the fates, to a love that came before.
And so I kept the safest distance, tried to play up my resistance
So I would not succumb to behavior of which he would deplore,
Yes, behavior of which even my OWN heart would deplore
(And it's made bad calls before)

Still--alas!--he came to trust me and one night on a case he brushed me
and I felt his warm erection tap upon my own back door
"Peter," said I, "can you?" and he looked at me, a man who
needed his wife's permission before we tried for something more
"Elizabeth," said Peter, "may we try for something more?"
Quote Elizabeth: for sure!

Now as I ponder, faintly mooning, pressed between my lovers spooning,
The tracker they removed today from upon my ankle sore
I remember faintly thinking that on the day that it stopped blinking
I'd run off to Tahiti, resume my crimes of long before
But leave this family that I've gathered, these people I adore?
Leave them for a life of thievery I surely would abhor?
Quote Neal Caffrey: nevermore.

---

NOW...

EVERYONE BLASPHEME A FAMOUS POEM IN THE COMMENTS. GO GO GO GO!

(Alternately: COMMENT WITH FAMOUS POEMS YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE BLASPHEMED. THIS IS A MEME I CAN GET BEHIND, YO.)

So!

I sat down yesterday to finish Girl!Neal and, um. I got to like...the very very last section and with a few paragraphs to go by body was like, KIDNEY ATTACK! Go directly to bed, do not collect $200, and don't move for 22 hours. My conclusion? My kidneys are opposed to fanfiction. SILLY KIDNEYS.

Seriously, I am a college student. WTF is up with this? Couldn't they have waited and started this little coup when I was old enough for it to be less random?

NONETHELESS, I am better now, and I am pounding this shit out and then editing it (unless anyone is around, like, RIGHT NOW to beta). It will be up TONIGHT, come hell or high water. Until then, here is a poem that I am kind of eh about!

( Poem! )

Also? While I was immobile I watched Big Eden, which I would not have been able to do if the ever-awesome

elrhiarhodan had not sent me the DVD. THANK YOU,

elrhiarhodan, YOU MADE MY KIDNEY!FAIL BEARABLE. While the movie itself is not the greatest, EVERYONE SHOULD WATCH IT, because there is some very ripped Tim Dekay in his underwear. And there is some Tim Dekay doing some other stuff that made my heart skip a beat, and mmmmmmmmm. Tim Dekay, you are lovely.

Then, when I was done with Big Eden, I rewatched episodes of WC and consoled myself with Peter's deliciousness and the chiseled beauty of Matt Bomer's features. The moral of this story? Tim and Matt can ease even the pain of your body staging a mutiny. I've proven it. It's science.

THEN I REREAD THIS AWESOME STORY

thosewerepearls WROTE FOR ME. It's called Brokedown Palace (which by the way is the name of MY FAVORITE GRATEFUL DEAD SONG, HOW DID SHE KNOW?!), and it's about Neal and Peter in the immediate aftermath of Kate's death. Oh, and it is INCREDIBLE. Everything about this piece rings true, from the dialogue to the descriptions to the fucking sentence structure. I won't go into more detail because I don't want to spoil anything, but consider this my official recommendation--and, in fact, entreaty--that you go and read it. Because it awesome.

Then I read a bunch of other fanfiction that was incredible! I'm going to do a rec post later because I want to FINISH THIS DAMN STORY NOW, but I did learn something today: fandom makes my life better. I knew that and everything, but Jesus Christ, you guys, I don't know what I would have done with myself while I was all pathetic and pained. YOU ALL WIN THE INTERNET.

Okay! I depart to finish the porn! WATCH THIS SPACE, YO. IT WILL ARRIVE SOON.

Let me explain.

No, there is too much. Let me sum up:

I KNOW I HAVE BEEN TOTALLY MIA. This is because my RL sort of exploded into Passover/new job/school deadlines/family whatsits/my brother coming to visit unexpectedly, AND I actually bothered to look at a calendar and realized OMGWTFBQQ ALL MY HP FEST FICS ARE DUE IN LIKE A WEEK. Except for the one that's due in like two weeks but has turned out to be RIDICULOUSLY long and I suddenly have no time and I HAVE NOT ABANDONED THIS SHIP I JUST GOT BUSY. Sometimes this happens, it is a fact of my existence. Nothing ever happens in manageable chunks it's ALWAYS ALL AT ONCE.

But I am going to be around again in like a day and I will finish girl!Neal and library!sex and all these other WC fics and post them and TO APOLOGIZE FOR ALL OF THIS, HERE'S 500 WORDS OF SAD MOZZ FIC THAT I WROTE FOR

hoosierbitch ONE TIME AND NEVER POSTED.

*Grovels*

Title Beautiful Things in Cages
Rating: PG
Pairing: Neal/Mozz (kind of)
Spoilers: Uh, no. Set immediately prior to the pilot.
Summary: Mozz has never been that kind of guy.

( Beautiful Things in Cages )

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Entries tagged with my flist is awesome

i'll be back later if all the family exposure doesn't finally drive me to (further) madness

er. what the icon said.

some things in no particular order:

IT'S POLL TIME

i want i want i want each breath

oh my god I did a thing:

this post has no cohesive theme!

my glee cannot be rendered textually

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS

WE TAKE A BREAK IN YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED MADNESS TO BRING YOU:

A letter:

DVD meme!

iPhone

Sherlock Holmes; Fic; A Study in The Art of Proper Reciprocation, NC-17

Assorted missives

Question! Oh, and also some Holmes fanfic.

(no subject)

HOW MANY PEOPLE CAN ROLL OVER IN THEIR GRAVE AT ONCE?

Ahahahaha

Um.