or, you know, 185 spots

[gyzym]

So, amongst the shitstorm of craziness I'm dealing with at my job this week, I've been assigned a task that I don't want to talk about because:

a) It is asinine
b) It is asinine
c) It involved a conversation in which I said, "Hey, can you forward me the email chain with the information I'll need," and the person who assigned me this task said, "No, I have deleted it, but I have a hard copy," which lead to me being given A 120 PAGE PRINTOUT OF OTHER PEOPLE'S EMAILS, WHAT DECADE IS THIS, WHO DOES THIS.

However. One of the things this task involves is me creating a world map marking off certain countries, and when I google image searched "world map labeled" for a reference, this is the first thing that came up. (To be fair, my work computer is running Internet Explorer Version Caveman; it was the second result to pop up when I ran the search on my Mac.)



DEAR WHOEVER MADE THIS MAP: I THINK YOU MISSED A SPOT

ETA: Apparently this map is actually about volcanoes, which kind of excuses the gaps, although it does not excuse Zaire or the fact that it is THE FIRST OR SECOND RESULT WHEN GOOGLING FOR A LABELED WORLD MAP.

But at least things make more sense now, y/y?

Comments

[beachlass.livejournal.com]

*laughing helplessly*

OMG, if I choke on my pizza and die, will you call my curling team to explain why I didn't show up tonight?

I think my favorite thing on that map is the careful labeling of Alaska. So the damn Canadians don't steal it?

Also, is it something in the water this week? I asked someone to forward me a missing schedule in a meeting yesterday, and they pulled a copy out of their binder and handed it to me. Mind you it was only one sheet but still...

OH! And that was before the anecdote about Pastor A.'s son making an appointment with Pastor B. to ask permission for his daughter's hand in marriage.

What fucking century are they living in??

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

I FEEL LIKE POSSIBLY WE HAVE GONE BACK IN TIME BY MISTAKE?!

[foxxcub.livejournal.com]

Is it sad I noticed England wasn't labeled before I noticed Canada?

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

fhdgsdf my first thought was DUDE, THEY DIDN'T LABEL THE ENTIRE CONTINENT OF ANTARCTICA

ETA: Which, to be fair, was ridiculous, because they didn't actually label any of the continents as such. BUT STILL. THE OTHER CONTINENTS AT LEAST HAVE A LABEL IN THERE SOMEWHERE.

I'm having these terrible nightmares about children thinking this is actually accurate dshfdsjkfldsg

[sorrynotsorry.livejournal.com]

Why would they label America's Backyard?

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

dsjkfhdsjf THIS IS WHY THERE ARE CHILDREN IN THIS COUNTRY WHO CAN'T FIND ANYTHING BUT THE US ON A MAP

[seeingrightly.livejournal.com]

WELL, THEY GOT ZAIRE, SO IT'S ALL GOOD!

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

fndnjdkfs I ALMOST SPAT OUT MY FUCKING COFFEE WHEN I SAW THAT, THEY ONLY LABELED 10 COUNTRIES AND ONE OF THEM IS WRONG

[illian.livejournal.com]

They got everything in North American except Canada? It wasn't like they RAN OUT OF ROOM!

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

I KNOW, I KNOW, WHAT THE HELL

ALSO I OWE YOU A BIRTHDAY FICLET I AM WORKING ON IT :D :D :D

[silverakira.livejournal.com]

I DESPERATELY want to know the backstory behind this map. I also love that Iceland needs an arrow.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

I do not know the backstory, but I hope to god it is "SOMEONE WAS VERY DRUNK AND DOES ACTUALLY KNOW MORE ABOUT WORLD GEOGRAPHY THAN THIS"

[surreal-44.livejournal.com]

Dude, this looks like a map my sister did for school. I will die if it's actually hers.

This is the same girl who informed me she is the very most smartest person she knows.

Oh, public skools. How u hav educatided us.!,,,

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

Hey now, my public school education was top notch! That being said, OH MY GOD THIS MAP STRIKES FEAR INTO MY HEART

[zolac-no-miko.livejournal.com]

THAT IS THE BEST MAP EVER. ...At least everything's labeled correctly? Although... isn't Zaire the Republic of Congo now? Or did it change back?

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

Zaire has been the Democratic Republic of the Congo since 1997, a fact that was apparently NOT IMPORTANT to whoever made this map dsfjsdfh

[lavender-basil.livejournal.com]

This map is *amazing*.

As is someone printing off an e-mail chain. OH MY GOD!

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

Oh my god, he handed me the document and I was just like, wait, really!? This is a current project! All these emails had been exchanged in the last week! DOES HE PRINT OUT, DELETE, AND FILE ALL OF HIS EMAILS, I DON'T UNDERSTAND

[dremiel.livejournal.com]

"punched in the face by Steve McGarrett" will never not be funny.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

:D :D :D

[postcardmystery.livejournal.com]

WHAT THE FUCK EVEN IS THIS.

My country isn't even a country, it's a misshapen blob that's mating with France.

... Also, I'm pretty sure that India's, like, larger than that. By a lot.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

I JUST HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING HERE AT ALL

[lmeden.livejournal.com]

My god, who the hell prints that kind of thing out, seriously. Did they want to forget about it forever, or what? (Your life reminds me of hesselives'. Crazy and business-y.)

Haha, the map. You're gorgeous.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

dfhdsjf I DON'T KNOW, BUT IT MEANT I HAD TO TYPE OUT ALL OF THE DATA MANUALLY INSTEAD OF USING GODDAMN COPY/PASTE

[taleya.livejournal.com]

Antarctica, Greenland and Canada aren't labelled.

I SMELL A CONSPIRACY AGAINST SLED DOGS

THESE GUYS ARE SUPER WORRIED ABOUT THAT:

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

[ruric.livejournal.com]

Reminds me of my old job. You would not believe how often the directors asked me whether I could print them a copy of the website or intranet.

I would be uh...well TECHNICALLY I could do that for you but can I just take a few minutes of your time to explain how they work? And BTW just because paper is a renewable resource does not mean we have to gobble up a few small woodlands every day. And have you ever heard that we have a sustainability strategy which means DO NOT PRINT SHIT.

*headesk to infinity*

*Yes I also worked with people who would print off their emails and file them and then delete the electronic copies*

This could be why I have not done much serious job hunting since I took redundancy last year. Returning to that kind of madness fills me with horror - esp when I could be reading fic and looking at pretty boys. *G*

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

jdfhjsdkfgsd OH MY GOD THAT JOB SOUNDS LIKE A NIGHTMARE, BB. Usually people at my office aren't quite this RIDICULOUS, so generally I don't actually hate my job, but oh man, I thought I was going to flip my shit when he handed me that doc.

[chaoticallyclev.livejournal.com]

....uhm. well. I suppose I should just e glad they even knew where the stuff they labelled was? for the most part? Because several of my teachers have told me that, given an unmarked map, 20% of united states citizens can't even find north america, let alone where our country actually is within it. And then there are the people that think Alaska is somehow attatched to hawaii. which is just--well.

ALL I CAN SAY IS, HOW COME THESE PEOPLE DIDN'T HAVE TO DRAW AS MANY OBNOXIOUSLY DETAILED MAPS AS I DID? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I'VE HAD TO DRAW CALIFORNIA?

WAAAAAAAAAAAAY TOO MANY. stupid schools.

"draw our state 20x times over because we are awesome. Then draw everyting else once, but we want at least 20 drawings of california. it is, after all the center of the universe. No, we will not be learning the history of anywhere that isn't california. Not until you move to another state where they will actually go into things like world history. because we are california. now we are going to spend two years talking about baseball for no reason" <--- 4-6 grade. also, why I hated california.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

We did not have to draw Ohio over and over, much to my relief. HOWEVER, I was forced to learn how to make Buckeyes (peanut butter balls dipped in chocolate) when I was in 5th grade, despite being TOTALLY ALLERGIC TO THE CHOCOLATE, so I feel your pain :/

[leavingslowly.livejournal.com]

Haha, who has a hard copy of that many emails? How many dead trees is that?! If it makes you feel any better, I work with an old stooge who was supposed to review a document while traveling and instead of taking his laptop and making edits like a normal person, what does he do? He leaves me voicemails with real-time dictations. 12 of them, each 4 minutes and 45 seconds long (the amount of time our voice system allows for a message). You do the math. The best part is that every time the system cut him off, he'd call back and start again, with "Hi, this is Bill again. Got cut off!" I wanted to kill myself.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

Oh my fucking god, I want to cry just thinking about that.

[foes-of-reality.livejournal.com]

...120 pages. WHAT. That's just horrific. DX Also, that map? I definitely lol'ed. =D

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

I KNOW, IT IS HORRIFIC AND I WAS HORRIFIED

[jibrailis.livejournal.com]

Iceland all of a sudden seems like a very important place. I will move there tout suite from that place I live in... the one in between Alaska and the mainland U.S... I'm forgetting its name already.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, what is this "Alaska" of which you speak? Do you mean the other U.S.?

Also, Nance, what are you talking about, there is no place there. It's just empty land!

[pavarian.livejournal.com]

*dies laughing*

omg seriously who keeps hard copies of emails. 120 fucking pages of them?! that is insane. LOLOL THis reminds me of that old gmail april fools joke where they tried to sell users their new 'snail mail' service in which they will mail you hard copies of your entire inbox for free ROFL

that map cracks me up. It very carefully and politically skirts around canada to stick the US flags. LOLOL

[pavarian.livejournal.com]

i had to go hunt out that old joke page after writing this:
http://mail.google.com/mail/help/paper/more.html

i might have blearily logged in first thing that morning and tried to hit the button. because hey! paper copies! backup for paranoid people! LOL

[erdbeerasche.livejournal.com]

This map. Second result. That's scary. However,volcanos somehow justify this? (http://www.math.montana.edu/~nmp/materials/ess/geosphere/assessment/novice/volcano2.html)

120 printed pages? But WHY? So you can take it in bed with you to cuddle at night if you feel lonely? No, wait, clearly it's so you can work on this assignment even if there's a world wide blackout. It's that important.

*is horrified*

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

Okay, well, THAT IS GOOD TO KNOW, I feel better about it existing now, although *not* about the fact that it is the first or second result that comes up when you search for a labeled map of the world.

I KNOW. I KNOW. WHO PRINTS THEIR EMAILS JDSFHJSDF

[arrghigiveup.livejournal.com]

Heh, I got curious about that and went to google it. As it turns out, it may not have been as full of fail as it first seems? That map came from a short page entitled Volcanoes around the World (http://www.math.montana.edu/~nmp/materials/ess/geosphere/assessment/novice/volcano2.html).
The above map was part of an activity, beneath which was typed:
"This map shows the entire world like the first map; but it is different than the first map. It shows all of the countries in the world. For some countries, their names are given. Decide if each named country has a volcano or not. Color the named countries with volcanoes red; color the named countries without volcanoes blue.
Advanced Activity: Continue coloring all of the countries that are not named; red for those you think have volcanoes, blue for those you think do not have volcanoes."

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

Ooh, okay, that makes much more sense! However, still the first or second result to show up on google images, so, while it's better than I originally thought, it is still KIND OF UNSETTLING :D

Also, Zaire is still not Zaire anymore :D

email stooge

[elderwitty]

My ebil cunning plan - let me show you it.

Can you ask the most recent name on the list to forward you the email they sent him? Then you'll have the whole thing electronically and can take his copy back ... slipping just as you enter his domain and only regaining your balance with much hand flailing and arm waving, which will scatter those pages evenly across his space. (And if you manage to make it seem like you bump your head on the corner of something during the blizzard, you can be 'dizzy' and ineligible for cleanup duty.) :grin:

(refer to icon for innocent look if needed)

Re: email stooge

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

Ahahahaha, ohhhh, ahahahahahahahaha, oh you think I did not try that. I WANTED TO TRY THAT, but unfortunately the other people on the email chain do not work at our firm, and I was told I wasn't allowed to contact them.

I don't know either.

[shiroi-ten.livejournal.com]

;__; My geography sucks but NOT THAT BAD. WHY ICELAND?

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

APPARENTLY THIS IS ABOUT VOLCANOES??

[tomato-greens.livejournal.com]

If you had looked at the website upon which this delightful and accurate map was placed, you would see that it's actually part of an ~activity~ about ~*volcanoes*~ and that it's woefully inadequate unfinished on purpose. WHY ARE YOU JUDGING MAPS BY THEIR COVERS?

Also: I do not understand the hard-copy thing even a little. WHAT. JUST, WHAT.

...NOT TO BE TOO FORWARD OR ANYTHING. Hi again. Why is talking to people on the internet like 80x as anxiety-inducing as IRL?

/awkwarddddddddd

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

I WOULD JUST LIKE TO SAY: ZAIRE.

Also, do not worry about being forward or awkward with me, bb, I turn forward and awkward into an art form :D :D :D

[i-m-pk.livejournal.com]

sporcle.com has a great world map....that you are forced to fill in yourself (it's a trivia quiz).

But it would work really well, actually if you only need to add certain countries