children of the 90s, rise up

[gyzym]

This is a drive-by post; I will be back later to answer comments (oh my god I love you guys have I mentioned that recently) and probably to make a fjdsfjdshf post about last night's ep.

BUT IN THE MEANTIME:

Me: Do you remember the Gator Golf commercial from when we were kids?
Burro: What the fuck is Gator Golf?
Me: *Sings the Gator Golf jingle*
Waiters in the Restaurant: *Side-eye me so hard I'm surprised nobody hurt themselves*
Burro: Nope, not ringing a bell.
Me: Seriously? This song's been stuck in my head for 17 years and you've got nothing?
Burro: Hahahahaha 17 years, your life blows.
Me: You're not helping.
Burro: You're beyond help.

THE GATOR GOLF COMMERCIAL, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN:

Guys. I ask you. I plead with you. Leave the scraps of terrible 90s commercials you remember in the comments. Link me to YouTube vids, embed shit, tell me how to access the mp3 files. THIS IS A CALL TO ARMS: I CANNOT TORTURE BURRO BY MYSELF, AND HE NEEDS TO BE TORTURED. For the sake of nostalgia. For the sake of my pride. For the sake of long-suffering older sisters everywhere.

ETA from the car on our way to spring Burrito from school:

Burro: Dude, I'm such a fucking bum right now, this hoodie isn't even clean.
Me: Yeah, man. My sweatshirt's clean, but my shoes totally don't match right now.
Burro: YOUR SHOES DON'T MATCH?!
Me: Yeah, what's the--oh my god, you asshole, I meant they don't match my outfit, they match EACH OTHER, what is wrong with you?
Burro: Don't look at me like that. You think I forgot how you used to dress in high school?

IF I DIDN'T LOVE HIM SO MUCH I'D HATE HIM, YOU GUYS. He must paaaaaaay.

Comments

[gelbwax.livejournal.com]

DOES ANYONE ELSE REMEMBER THIS ONE? My homeroom in 7th grade had a TV in it that would always play CNN before class started; this commercial came on at 7:48 every morning like clockwork.

[snowdarkred.livejournal.com]

Fuck, I still have the damn song memorized. D:

[onthecount.livejournal.com]

THIS FREAKING JINGLE. IT IS THE MOST RESILIENT PARASITE.

[winslow-arizona.livejournal.com]

...I'm pretty sure they still run that one where I live. Or they did a couple of years ago. I hate that jingle so much.

[metalspork13.livejournal.com]

Okay I still see this commercial on a DAILY BASIS. I literally saw it about half an hour ago. WILL IT NEVER END.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

Oh my god, I watched the whole thing and I was like, lalalala, I must have gloriously missed this one lalalala, AND THEN I GOT TO THE JINGLE AT THE END. THE HORROR, OH MY GOD, THE HORROR

[arineat.livejournal.com]

Oh god, his voice. AND THAT SONG! I was only vaguely sure I knew that commercial until I heard the jingle! *curls into a ball and rocks back and forth*

[fae-boleyn.livejournal.com]

Dude, they're still using this one. Or else the change is so small it's almost impossible to tell the difference.

[everbright (from livejournal.com)]

Dude, I'm from Chicagoland. I used to watch the commercial with the actual Empire Guy, before he kicked the bucket.

[margeauxmay.livejournal.com]

it's a Chicagoland staple; you can start the "588-"...and RANDOM PEOPLE will finish the "2300 Empiiiiiiiiiiire" without any prompting whatsoever.

it's insidious is what it is.