things this post makes: no sense

Okay, internet, HI, HELLO, I APOLOGIZE FOR MY ABSENCE TODAY. I have emails I need to answer and comments full of awesome that I haven't replied to and I don't really have any defense for myself except for that I got. Er. I got...idea-fied, this thing, my brain, sometimes I get ideas and I fall in love and they eat me and I'm not talking about it because I'll jinx it but just, with the handwaving and the general insanity and the not having the focus for anything other than, you know. Meandering. Story. Things.

MY POINT BEING: SORRY, I SUCK, ALL OF THE THINGS, TOMORROW, I WILL DO THEM. Probably when I have less of a headache.

If you want assurance of the fact that I was completely out of it today, here are some things that happened, all of which make it clear that it is give-up-on-today time, which I will be doing promptly after I hit post:

1) Weeks ago sorrynotsorry (SUPREMELY AWESOME BEING THAT SHE IS) found and brought to me some hazelnut chocolate spread that didn't have dairy in it, because I am allergic to dairy and have thus missed out on Nutella my whole life, and my bitterness over that fact, it was deep, it was so deep. And I LOST IT, I LOST THE AWESOME PACKETS FULL OF GOODNESS BEFORE I COULD TRY THEM, and then today I found them again and, mid-paroxysms of glee over HOLY FUCK NUTELLA IS DELICIOUS, I tripped over my dog and fell. And landed. On the ground. With my face. In the piece of Nutella toast.

2) I absentmindedly started a tumblr that has no things in it because I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW HOW TO USE TUMBLR, I don't even know how I ended up on the setup screen, I just kind of clicked some things, it was like highway blindness, and then I blinked and had a tumblr. Here is what I have done with it so far: stared at the "Maybe you should try posting something!" screen. Closed the tab.

3) Had a Danny Williams moment involving rage over the instructions "Tear here" on a tape dispenser to the point that I actually took a photo on my iPhone to post because WHAT IDIOT DOESN'T KNOW TO THAT YOU NEED TO TEAR TAPE, WHAT KIND OF DIRECTION EVEN IS THAT, made angry noises about it to everyone near me, and then realized that it was just the clear tape dispenser sitting on top of something else that said "tear here." Felt like an asshole.

4) SOMEHOW MANAGED TO FLING A BRA OUT OF MY LAUNDRY AND INTO A LARGE STACK OF PLASTIC CUPS, WHICH ARE NOW EVERYWHERE.

5) On finding a mysterious football diorama of unknown origin in the supply closet of the...law firm...where I work (DON'T ASK, IT'S A MYSTERY), and while overcome with various story ideas and too confused by the diorama's existence to actually engage my brain-to-mouth filter:

BossLady: What is that?
Me: I have no idea, what the hell.
BossLady: How did it get in here? Who would leave that here? Why would that be at a law firm?
Me: I think we should put a Post-It on it that says 42.
BossLady: ...why?
Me: Because obviously it's the answer to life, the universe, and everything, what else could it be?
BossLady: Was that supposed to make it clearer for me?
Me: MAYBE IT'S A VERY SMALL PORTAL TO NARNIA

remember when i could focus on things for more than 10 seconds? yeah, me neither

Three FIVE things:

1) TUMBLR. WHAT IS IT, HOW DOES IT WORK, WHAT DOES IT DO. Mine is here, and I assure you it will have changed in theme and title at least four times by the end of the week, because I am like that. I POSTED A PICTURE OF PRETTY RAIN, oh, god, social media, why, why, why, I hate you why. IF YOU GUYS ARE ON TUMBLR, TELL ME AND I WILL...FOLLOW...YOU? POORLY, PROBABLY. Oh god mostly I'm doing this so I can stop making 15 posts a day here, and/or because I like the word "tumblr" even though it frightens me.

2) Sometimes I get weird about things, you guys know this, IF I HAVE MISSED REPLYING TO A COMMENT IT'S NOT YOU, it's that I'm not getting half my notifs and Burro went back to college Sunday morning and I miss him more than is really acceptable and sometimes that kind of thing manifests itself strangely, in that I get randomly overwhelmed and then feel like an asshole when I try to catch up because HOW DID I DO THIS and blah blah because I'm a ~special snowflake~, or, to put it another way, flaky. SORRY. SORRY. I am shaking it off and am mostly back to normal now, but the last few days were kind of just missing my bro and what the hell random anxiety that I didn't recognize until it was mostly over, mixed in with a story idea that has eaten me aliiiiiive, which I desperately want to talk about but am afraid of scaring away, because, eep, pressure! What if people don't like the idea? What if people DO LIKE THE IDEA AND THEN I CAN'T WRITE IT? <---Behold, the anxiety train, it's still in the station. I will probably spend the next few days being my regular old self but compulsively APOLOGIZING FOR EVERYTHING, be warned. Feel free to just ignore that, MY APOLOGIES :D

3) Shit, I've forgotten the third thing. WAS IT THAT iam_space HAS LEFT ME WITH THE IDEA OF CALLING MY TUMBLR "RUMBLR IN MY TUMBLR" AND I AM HAVING TROUBLE RESISTING? OR THAT I'M ALSO CONSIDERING CALLING IT "RUMBLR STUMBLR TUMBLR" EVEN THOUGH wheres_walnut WILL LAUGH AT ME FOREVER? Probs.

4) OH NO I REMEMBER THE THIRD THING IT IS THAT I DISCOVERED THE ULTIMATE FANGIRL TOOL AND IT IS THE FUCKING CAPS CONVERTER. Yeah, that's right. That conversation you had in a chat window in all caps with your BFF Jill or whoever, flailing about Steve and Danny and cocks? That you want to turn into fic but can't because, oh, fuck, you did the whole thing in caps? BOOM, BABY. NOT A PROBLEM ANYMORE.

5) Random fifth thing: did anyone on my flist go to University of Michigan? IF YOU DID, SING OUT--I PROMISE, DESPITE MY OHIO BLOOD AND MY LOVE FOR OSU, I WILL NOT HATE ON YOU FOR THIS. Um, much. Maybe a joke or two, but really I just need to ask you a million questions about U of M and their alumni program for no reason at all, lalalala no reason, ahem. Leave a comment or PM me with contact info if you're willing to deal with me, yeah? Be warned: if you do this, I will probably chat at you and/or send you rambling emails at odd hours of the night.

OKAY, ENOUGH NOW. HERE, HAVE SOME SCOTTY IN FLANNEL FOR NO REASON AT ALL, NOOOOOO REASON, THIS IS JUST TO MAKE UP FOR THE REST OF THIS RIDICULOUS POST:



Hnnnng, Scotty. Hnnnng.

ETA: ALSO JESUS FUCKING CHRIST ON A CRACKER DO THESE TUMBLRBOT EMAILS EVER GET LESS WEIRD