am trying to finish and post shit tonight, but first i need to get this off my chest:

[gyzym]

To the motherfucking dipshit asswipe who clipped my car in the parking lot tonight:

Thank you. No, really--the dent you left by my headlight adds a certain amount of je ne sais quoi to my ride, don't you think? And the scrapes of pale green paint were a really nice touch; they stand out beautifully against the blue, scream accident in bight neon letters better than any imitation could. You probably didn't leave a note out of shame, or fear of a higher premium, or an inability to take responsibility for your actions like the fucking adult you're supposed to be, but what's a little insurance information between friends, right? You've given me so much more than any kind of settlement could--here I thought I was just running to grab an egg roll and some General Tso's, and I got a reaffirming sense of violation and irritation and screaming rage instead.

I feel a little forward asking for a favor, considering all you've done for me tonight, but it's just a small thing, so I'm going to ask anyway. If you could kindly proceed to your nearest fire--whichever is most convenient for you, of course, I'm not picky, and I know how you like taking the easy way out--and then go ahead and die in it, I'd really appreciate it.

Cheers,
Jizz

Comments

[zanzando.livejournal.com]

>:( DIPSHIT.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

RIGHT? Just like, augh, wtf.

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry, bb :(

*hugs*

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

It's okay, it's not even a big enough dent to warrant making an insurance claim, I'm just pissed the fuck off about it.

[anoncents.livejournal.com]

What's up with people being jerks lately? Yesterday, my mom discovered someone left a serious scrape on her car... :/

I hope it doesn't cost too much to repair. Maybe you can go back and see if they had a video camera! Go check, maybe you'll catch the asshole. *hopeful*

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

Nah, checked already. I'm just going to have the paint buffed out and leave the dent for now, I think; I'll wait until I need a bigger repair done, and just deal with it then.

[slothy-girl.livejournal.com]

Ouchie- i hope this person spontaniously falls off the nearest cliff into hot lava if it's any consolation!!

But geez- dumb fucker shoulda at LEAST left a note D

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

Yeaaaaaah, he should have. *sigh* Oh well.

[eaconwell.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

karma will kick their ass. don't worry

[shiroi-ten.livejournal.com]

I parked on the widest suburbian street ever and some crazy drunk kids dented it. WHAT EVEN PEOPLE? :/

[fic-kitty.livejournal.com]

Hey, I'm sorry. People are sucky and stupid. I could tell you about the time that, instead of getting out and wheeling it away, or finding another parking spot like a motherfucking adult, some jerk or jerk-ette decided to push my scooter up into the top of the space with their car, which not only completely fucked up the paint and the kick stand, it left me unable to leave until they came back (this was in a parking garage, and I didn't stick around for fear of confrontation with somebody meaner and bigger than me).

It happened to be right next to the library so it could have been worse than it was but. I commiserate. And, if I may be so bold, offer friendly and supportive internet hugs.

[foes-of-reality.livejournal.com]

Well, isn't that shit-tastic. DX Every day, new douchebags are born. Humanity is doomed.

...Also, what is my degree of douchebaggery if I kind of maybe chuckled at this a little bit? Because, seriously, "adds a certain amount of je ne sais quoi to my ride" (and really, all the rest of this) must be the greatest response to an unfortunate event that I've ever seen.

And, in other news, I totally misread "premium" as "perineum," proceeded to do a double-take, and then went HO SHIT, FANDOM. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MEEEEEE?

>.>

<.<

[cs-whitewolf.livejournal.com]

Hey there, just passing by your journal for the fic and spotted this entry- if the parking lot has CCTV you can probably get the guys plates off that and get him to pay for repairs if you do. The same thing happened to my mom and she was able to get the guy/his insurance to pay that way.

Hope that helps you even a little! Douchebags like that should never get away with the shit they pull.

[wattle-neurotic.livejournal.com]

I hope karma bites them. Hard. And then delivers you something awesome.

Some people are such arseholes, ugh :(