oh, ruffles, i thought i knew you

[gyzym]

I think I've mentioned a couple times that I can't access LJ from my office, except from my phone--it's a double edged sword, because on the one hand I WANT TO, but on the other hand it would seriously fuck with my productivity. BUT TODAY IT HAS BEEN TORTURE, because I have been waiting since I ran to grab an iced tea at 8:45 this morning to show you guys this. Long were the hours between me and my lunch break, let me tell you.

But now I am happily settled in at the nearest Starbucks, eating leftover Chinese food with a spoon I snatched from the office kitchen (why yes, my middle name is class, how did you know?), and I can finally show you the latest terror American gluttony hath wrought.

You guys, this is what I saw when I went to get my tea this morning:



Now, there are a lot of things I could say about this photo--about, for example, how it is unholy and wrong to malign the chicken wing like this, the chicken wing that never did anything but provide sweet, deep fried bliss after a couple of beers. About how Ruffles potato chips were supposed to be better than this; about how a girl turns her back on junk food for one measly year and THIS IS WHAT SHE GETS.

However, all of the things I could say would come back to the same point, that point being:

YOU GUYS, WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE

Comments

[okydoky.livejournal.com]

Lololol you clearly need to try these and see if your rage is justified! :D

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

NEVERRRRRRRRRR :D :D :D

[99-mg-of-hate.livejournal.com]

I tried these after finding them at a Wawa near me and while I am usually all for buffalo and ruffles, I didn't really like them.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

I just...cannot imagine how they would be good. THESE THINGS SHOULD NOT BE COMBINED.

[99-mg-of-hate.livejournal.com]

Snyders makes really good buffalo pretzels, but these were an abomination. Ruffles needs to stick with the chedder sour cream.

[hermette.livejournal.com]

all I can think is how ugly that font is.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

The font is HIDEOUS, it's true. Although I tend to save up my font rage for the woman in my office who insists on sending me emails in motherfucking Comic Sans dkfjsdkfhsd

[hermette.livejournal.com]

sdf;jksd WHYYY??????? That is only appropriate if you're making a mail out for a bake sale for the baptist church's vacation bible school.

Actually, no. That's never appropriate.

I used to work FOR a woman who was just ... like, okay. This chick who worked in my department got fired, so all her accounts got shuffled, and when my boss sent out the email with the restructured list, it said "Do to the fact that so and so is know longer working here..."

Just. What?

[beachlass.livejournal.com]

Weird potato chip flavours, I don't even.

[fae-boleyn.livejournal.com]

I... What? OK, Doritos now has taco and cheeseburger flavors (the taco is really more just spicy and isn't bad, the cheeseburger isn't nasty but too weird to try a second time), but... I... Huh. I haven't seen these, maybe they've not hit PA yet? Still, that just doesn't sound like it'd taste good at all.

[onthecount.livejournal.com]

Flavored potato chips always have that SUPER THICK layer of moth-dust flavoring shit on them, THESE LOOK LIKE THEY HAVE ENOUGH TO CHOKE SOMEONE. ;lsadkfaskd why would you even do that. Just eat chicken wings and forgo the chips, okay. :(

[zolac-no-miko.livejournal.com]

I... I think I may have eaten some of these...? THEY WERE JUST SITTING THERE, THE BAG WAS OPEN, I WAS CURIOUS. They... they were kind of tasty?

[lmeden.livejournal.com]

WHAT THE HELL.

My world is so crazy right now.

[sorrynotsorry.livejournal.com]

IT'S A SIGN THAT MEANS I NEED TO TAKE YOU TO WING NIGHT.

[calico-jane.livejournal.com]

It could be worse. To celebrate the World Cup last year, Walkers gave us here in the UK such flavours as Haggis, Spaghetti Bolognese and Barbecue Kangaroo. Current flavours on sale include Chili con Carne, Steak and Ale Pie, Full English Fry Up and Roast Chicken Dinner. We can forgive these, since they're for charity...

Although since my favourite crisp flavour is Prawn Cocktail, I'm perhaps not the best judge :)

[silverakira.livejournal.com]

For some reason, the picture of the wings on the packaging creeps the hell out of me.

It also vaguely reminds me of the Doritos Late Night Tacos at Midnight abomination I saw at the store a while back. How many ways can I say DO NOT WANT?

[popcorn-orgasms.livejournal.com]

HAha! I bet there are the best chips ever. Best Chips You Have Ever Eaten!

[erdbeerasche.livejournal.com]

This...looks like it tastes vile. D=

[postcardmystery.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAHAHAHA, WHAT THE FUCK YOUR COUNTRY.

(Is it weird that for me, Walmart is like this mystical thing that I have only heard about on television/Kevin Smith movies and I'm not 100% sure I believe exists?)

[fic-kitty.livejournal.com]

At least they're not ketchup flavored. Or "all-flavor" flavored. Don't ask me what all-flavor is, I've never been able to get a consistent answer.

[kleat.livejournal.com]

I stopped bothering after they came up with the ketchup flavour. *shudders* I honestly don't get the North-American obsession with ketchup. Don't get me wrong, I like the thing but... in limited amounts and only on specific foods. Say, with fries or a hamburger. Not with pasta and potatoes and all sorts of meats and fish (even if said meat and fish have already been seasoned) and anything else you can think of. There are alternatives to ketchup. Really.

Uhm. *cough* Just uh, ignore that rant. Sorry. Anyways. Those wings are way to orangy to look appetizing in my opinion... I would stay away from those chips.

[foes-of-reality.livejournal.com]

on the one hand I WANT TO, but on the other hand it would seriously fuck with my productivity. <--THAT. THAT IS MY LIFE. Except that most of the time I cannot resist. E.G., RIGHT NOW. I AM THE POSTER CHILD FOR PRODUCTIVITY!FAIL. WHAT. DX

the latest terror American gluttony hath wrought
My thoughts precisely. We have the most bizarre, and often horrific, junk food. Like "mozzarella sticks and marinara"-flavored Pringles. THEY ANGER MY TASTE BUDS.

[flyingichthyo.livejournal.com]

Oh, god, are they any good?? I SIMPLY MUST KNOW. Tell me you tried these!

I was at the store last night, to pick up - no joke - milk and chicken wings. AND THEN I SAW THESE. I was so torn! Do I get them? Do I not? I already have *real* wings in my hand...

I decided not to get them, obvy. I *do* regret that.