further adventures of my lunatic relations

[gyzym]

Or, The Family von Jizz Sounds Off On:

Making Crab Cakes!

Me: It's kind of like making latkes.
My Mother: It's exactly like making latkes!
My Father: Except for how it's shellfish.
Me: ...
My Mother: ...
Me: We're the worst Jews ever, aren't we.
Burrito: *ignores us all as he eats pepperoni*

Fraternity Shenanigans/Culinary Experiments!

Burro: I ate cake with hot sauce on it last night.
Me: What? You did what? Oh my god, why?
Burro: Well, we were having chicken for dinner, and there was hot sauce on the table, and I said I'd eat hot sauce on pretty much anything--
Me: And then, what, you decided to prove your point?
Burro: Could you let me tell a story?
Me: You lead with "I ate hot sauce on cake last night," and you expect me to be calm about this?
Burro: You know, I'd kind of let myself forget how you are about food.
Me: You wound me, but fine, continue.
Burro: As I was saying, one of my bros was like, "Would you eat it on ice cream?" and I was like, "Prooobably not," and then someone else was like, "Would you eat it on cake?" and I was like, "Yeah, I'd eat it on cake," and then someone was like, "I have cake," so.
Me: So you ate it?
Burro: I said I would! So yeah, I totally did. I think they're gonna put it on Youtube. It wasn't actually that bad.
Me: Seriously.
Burro: Not that bad!
Me: There is something wrong with you.
Burro: Maybe, but no one can say I'm not a man of my word.

The Shitstorm of Anti-Semitism in the News This Week!

My Father: For fuck's sake, is Mel Gibson out recruiting these assholes now?

This has been today's episode of Fuck I Love These Crazy Assholes. Tune in next week for further nonsense!

Comments

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

You have the best tags, I swear.

And now I want latkes with sour cream.

Or red velvet cake with tabasco. *g*

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

I think it's less that I have the best tags and more that I have SO MANY that some are bound to be amusing :D

[chaoticallyclev.livejournal.com]

My sister has DEFINITELY eaten hot sauce on cake. And BBq sauce on cake. And frosting on meatballs. And pickles covered in whip cream. She just likes to eat disgusting things together, I think. Of course, she also probably has no tastebuds left after years of snacking on jalepenos and habenero peppers.

And I suspect that last comment by your father might have some truth to it >.> ...what even are people anymore? Except assholes, we got that part.

I feel like I am going to use this icon all the time now. It feels so appropriate for all the things, to me.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

fdsjkfhdsfs THAT ICON IS THE MOST AMAZING OH MY GOD

[chaoticallyclev.livejournal.com]

it's expressed my feelings quite well several times today.

[oaktree89.livejournal.com]

It's because of moments like this that I'm so proud of my heritage XD

I mean, other moments too, of course.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

You and me both, bb :D

[abbylee]

Was it *chocolate* cake at least? There's a place near me that makes amazing chili chocolate gelato. And I've definitely made plain ordinary brownies more fun by adding chili powder (the real kind, not the stuff with cumin, etc) into the batter.

... And now I need chili & cinnamon hot chocolate.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

It was yellow pound cake. He hurts me in my soul.

HOWEVER, CHOCOLATE + SPICE = DELICIOUS. Please to be seeing, yes, spiced hot chocolate (which admittedly I have to make with soy), and also my great love, MOLE

[abbylee]

... yellow pound cake? Okay, I can see how that's better than ice cream, but that basically just screams "I'm a boy; we do stupid things" :D

[lmeden.livejournal.com]

OMG, YES. I love everyday craziness. Especially of the wonderful kind, like this is. XD

(I'm also amazed by the fact that you remembered the conversations so well.)

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

I write a lot of these conversations down while they're still fresh, lol, for blackmail purposes/the potential book I'll write about them someday. I have a Moleskine that is at least half full of random shit my family says.

[lmeden.livejournal.com]

Really? Don't they ever notice when you're scribbling away?

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

Nah, I do it after, usually--I have a pretty good memory for shit like this, especially when it's like, 15 minutes post convo rather than a day or two. Plus, I am so often found scribbling away that it's normal :D

[lmeden.livejournal.com]

Very cunning. I like. XD

[fic-kitty.livejournal.com]

Your family sounds like the bizzomb.

. . .

The jizzom bizzomb I'M SORRY I COULDN'T RESTRAIN MYSELF.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

FJJDSHFJDKS I AM MAKING A JIZZOM BIZZOMB TAG HOLD ON

[fic-kitty.livejournal.com]

\o/

[erdbeerasche.livejournal.com]

I love your family. (By the way hot sauce on cake WHAT D=)
And your tags are absolutely awesome.You know what should be a tag? Shit my family says! =P

[zanzando.livejournal.com]

My personal favourite is waffles covered in powdered sugar and soaked in ketchup.

[please don't ask]


[no really]

[stella-polaris.livejournal.com]

Your Family entries are like the bestest thing ever on my Flist I can't even

[photoclerk.livejournal.com]

I love that you clearly have ~feelings~ for cake.
Also, jsyk, I read about half of your entries to my roommate who is a straight male completely divorced from fandom and who doesn't get at least half of the jokes or references, but laughs anyway like a champ. I just can't contain my glee and have to share it with someone else. Much of your fic has been forced upon him as well. The poor thing has no idea what's happening to him. ^_^;;;

[asimaiyat.livejournal.com]

I was hoping it would be, like, a savory corn cake? But no. :(

Also your family is awesome.