no one is safe

[gyzym]

A few days ago, my father got himself one of those iPads that aren't. Tablets, I think they're called? I could google it, but why. In any case, he made me come to his office and help him set it up, and we had the following conversation (obviously, I have subbed out Burro's real name for...er...Burro, as my father does not actually call us by the names I use in this journal):

My Father: Oh, and download that thing with the birds.
Me: What, Angry Birds?
My Father: Yeah, Burro's obsessed with it.
Me: You don't want me to download Angry Birds. It will eat your soul.
My Father: What is it? Isn't it like, a stupid game with birds?
Me: That's exactly what it is.
My Father: I'm not going to be sucked in by a bird game. I am a grown man.
Me: You don't understand what you're dealing with here. Also, I don't think people that fight with their eleven year old children about Oreo cookies get to call themselves grown--
My Father: DOWNLOAD THE BIRDS.
Me: Fine, but it's your funeral.

That was days ago. I mostly forgot about it. TONIGHT, AT 11 PM, WHILE I AM DRIVING HOME, HE CALLS ME.

Me: Hello?
My Father: THESE FUCKING BIRDS.
Me: Wha--oh my god, are you playing Angry Birds?
My Father: I don't want to talk about it.
Me: You called me.
My Father: Well, yeah, I need you to tell me how to beat 1-15.
Me: I...you...what? I'm driving, I don't remember which level that is off the top of my head--
My Father: It's the one with the birds and the wood and the glass!
Me: THEY ALL HAVE BIRDS AND WOOD AND GLASS, THAT IS THE WHOLE GAME.
My Father: I can't sleep until I win!!!
Me: I told you this would happen.
My Father: Fuck you!
Me: Fuck you!
My Father: OH, YES, YES, I GOT IT, NEVERMIND, GOODBYE.
Phone: *Disconnects*

Comments

[illian.livejournal.com]

♥ your family.

Kind of glad they are your family as I have plenty of crazy running around in my own.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

njdfkdsf CRAZY PEOPLE ONE AND ALL ♥

[futureperfect.livejournal.com]

*CRYING*

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

I TRIED TO WARN HIM!!!

[ebilgatoloco.livejournal.com]

LOL. XD

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

MY FLESH AND BLOOD, MAN. I DON'T EVEN.

[bibliokat.livejournal.com]

OMG YOUR DAD LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

I ALREADY KNOW THIS ISN'T THE END OF THIS. I AM MAKING A MY FATHER; THE BIRDS TAG RN.

[scifijunkie.livejournal.com]

I think "little house on the crazy" may be my favorite tag ever.

My dad plays this on the iPad and takes an unholy amount of glee in killing the pigs, but my mother has to play it with the sound down so her delicate sensibilities can gloss over the fact that the birds are sacrificing themselves to kill the pigs.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

fjsdhfs my mother, thank god, has yet to discover this game, but I imagine it's only a matter of time.

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

WHERE CAN I DL THIS GAME??? ALSO YOUR DAD ♥

Hey did you get my PM from earlier? LJ has been since a slore lately with comment notifications, I want to make sure I didn't miss it.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

IF YOU HAVE A DROID, IPHONE, IPAD OR...TABLET THINGER...GO TO THE APP STORE. TYPE IN ANGRY BIRDS. IT WILL POP RIGHT UP :D

And no, I did not! WHAT DID IT SAY.

[theonlytwin.livejournal.com]

MY MUM AND PLANTS VS ZOMBIES

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

jdhskd OH GOD DON'T EVEN SAY THOSE WORDS WHAT IF HE HEARS THE OCCULT CALL OF MORE GAMES WITH WHICH TO TORTURE ME

[end1essly.livejournal.com]

So I did one of those laughs that are horribly awkward and cause liquids to exit through your nostrils. But thanks for this, I needed the laugh XDDD

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

I apologize for the liquid, but glad I could make you laugh, bbcakes :D

[winter-rogue.livejournal.com]

/facepalm

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

EXACTLY.

[fic-kitty.livejournal.com]

AHAHAH JIZ I could say stuff about how ridic your family is, but... what hasn't been said at this point :P HERE IS MY QUESTION THOUGH (I often have a question); what happens when he DOES BEAT ANGRY BIRDS, or at least the levels he has access to, and there are no more levels to play? Do you suppose he will self-destruct?

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

I IMAGINE HE WILL FIND A NEW WAY TO BOTHER ME, IT'S NOT LIKE IT IS HARD

[shiroi-ten.livejournal.com]

AGH THOSE APPS ARE THE END OF ALL LIFE.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

PLEASE SEE TITLE OF POST :D

[ember-firedrake.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD, THAT GAME. FUCKING PIGS.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

I KNOW, RIGHT?

[trinaest.livejournal.com]

OMG Your conversations with your dad are the best things EVER. :D :D

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

Some days I think he's just a figment of my imagination, but that would be worse, because that would mean my imagination was KIND OF AN ASSHOLE :D

[kleat.livejournal.com]

I... had forgotten about this game. Now may or may not be a good time to play? It's only 1:30... MUST... RESIST...

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

DON'T DO IT! SAVE YOURSELF!

[blueraccoon.livejournal.com]

My mom actually has an iPad, but she has not discovered Angry Birds. She has, however, discovered Moron, which is an app designed to make you do stupid things so it can laugh at your lack of comprehension. I visited for a week and COULD NOT STOP PLAYING IT.

I'm going home in two weeks. I kind of want to play Angry Birds. I think I may be losing my soul.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

RESIST THE URGE, TRUST ME. Once you pop the fun don't stop, and by "the fun" I mean "YOUR OBSESSIVE COMPULSION TO PLAY THE GAME UNTIL YOU DIE"

Angry BIRDS

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

Re: Angry BIRDS

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

jfdhskfhsdkfh TOMORROW HE WILL END UP CALLING ME ABOUT ELEPHANTS, JUST WATCH. MY LIFE IS JUST AN EPISODE OF CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM THAT NEVER, EVER ENDS

[viennajones.livejournal.com]

This is gold. You should write a book about your family, seriously. I'd read it.

[jibrailis.livejournal.com]

I was reaching out, yelling NO DON'T DO IT, even as I was reading this post. Just whyyyyyy, another one bites the dust. Damn you, Angry Birds. *shake fist*

[gunslingaaahhh.livejournal.com]

YOUR DAD IS MY HERO.

[abuseofreason.livejournal.com]

DAMN YOU ANGRY BIRDS!! That game took over my entire restaurant, closely followed by Words With Friends and Robot Unicorn Attack, but I'll always remember... it started with birds.

[gwyneth-valora.livejournal.com]

*blinks*

Wow. And I thought my family was bad enough...

Although, when I went home the other day I found Dad sitting at one end of the couch playing Angry Birds on his iPhone, my mum at the other end playing it on my brother's iphone, and my brother sitting in the armchair playing it on his new iPad. Apparently, they hadn't moved in two hours. *scratches head*

[hungerpunch.livejournal.com]

a;lslk;slkdaksfjgdkgjdlgjdfd.

I JUST WANT TO SEE YOUR FAMILY ALL IN ONE PLACE FOR 5 MINUTES. i feel like it'd be a phenomenon of nature or something.

[padfootthegrim.livejournal.com]

LOL

... yeah kinda glad my family's version of crazy generally doesn't veer into electronics and games.... BUT IM NOT RULING ANYTHING OUT BECAUSE MY MOTHER HAS AN IPHONE NOW OMG

[oaktree89.livejournal.com]

asdfghjkl;
your dad XD

[winslow-arizona.livejournal.com]

I do not understand this Angry Birds, simply because my mother hasn't discovered it yet. Her never-ending game of choice is Bejeweled.