you go chasin' down the women and drinkin' up the beer

[gyzym]

Last night my subconscious, apparently in the mood to fuck with me, dropped me into a dream where I was Jason Bateman's mail order bride. NO, I DON'T KNOW EITHER. I do know it must have been hysterical, as for the first time in years I woke myself up laughing, but this is the only part I remember:

Me: Are you...are you making sexy faces at yourself in the mirror?
Jason Bateman No!
Me: You are, aren't you?
Jason Bateman: ...oh, god, I miss Arrested Development so much.
Me: As do we all, Jason. As do we all.

SO, THAT HAPPENED. In the tradition of what the actual fuck, this is another Funny Shit On The Internet Is Funny post. "But Jizz," you're probably thinking, "you just did one of these the other day!" To you I say: I DREAMED I WAS JASON BATEMAN'S MAIL ORDER BRIDE. YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID.































♥

Comments

[luthien82]

Serious Brown! Oh my god! *lol*

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

RIGHT? That one killed me.

[sheafrotherdon.livejournal.com]

I don't know why the duck one makes me laugh so much, BUT IT DOES

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

BECAUSE IT'S DANNY, CATE. IT'S DANNY THE DUCK.

[forsweatervests.livejournal.com]

They would taste *so* delicious. Um.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

EAT ME LAST

[illian.livejournal.com]

Duck one: I heard it in Steve's voice to Danno.
. . .
I totally blame you.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

I DID TOO. I almost made a note of that and then I was like NO, I WILL NOT FORCE MY INSANITY UPON THEM, I ALREADY TOLD THEM ABOUT THE BATEMAN DREAM

[kleat.livejournal.com]

I'm torn between the whipping the heir back and forth one, and the the zombie apocalypse pie chart... I think I would be pretty tasty actually.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

The whipping the heir one cracks my shit right up, can't even lie :D

[sorrynotsorry.livejournal.com]

I THINK YOU MIGHT NEED A TUMBLR INTERVENTION. (unless this is just internet in which case it should be an internetvention.)

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

I'VE GOT IT UNDER CONTROL! I DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM! Oh god.

[twig-tea.livejournal.com]

TROLOLOLOLOLOL

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

:D

[zolac-no-miko.livejournal.com]

Ohmigod I just tried the Google search myself. Yeeessss~!! ...Apparently those are movie quotes, should've figured. The one man wolf pack didn't show up on mine, though, sad day.

I've hung out with falconers long enough to understand what's going on with the owl, but it's still funny. And the hose does seem a little excessive.

YOU HAVE ALL THE BEST MACROS. FROM NOW ON, IF I EVER NEED TO SPAM MY FRIENDS WITH MACROS, I WILL JUST GO TO YOUR JOURNAL.

[zolac-no-miko.livejournal.com]

Also I know someone whose official zombie plan is to get bitten as soon as possible. His reasoning: why go through all the angst and horror and fear and crumbling civilization? Join the winning side immediately! XD

[schemingreader.livejournal.com]

I like the bear one best, myself.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

The bear one KILLED ME. KILLED. ME.

[jtsbbsps-dk.livejournal.com]

LOLOLOL! I *love* your funny shit on the internet posts xDD Please don't ever stop making them. Just, you know, don't do it so much that you forget about writing fic or telling us about your fucked up dreams and insane family xD In short: Just keep doing what you're doing ;D

♥

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

I CAN DO THAT ♥!

[seeingrightly.livejournal.com]

lkdfjdf those Spider-Man macros are like half of what I reblog. I DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY COME FROM BUT THEY ARE BEAUTIFUL.

This one's the best, though: http://slyasaslything.tumblr.com/post/3995548070/i-just-died

THE JESUS ONES kdjfsldkg the first few are from Talladega Nights.

THE WALDO ONE THOUGH OH MY GOD.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

JDSHFJKDS RIGHT??? THE WALDO ONE, IT TOOK ME A SECOND AND THEN I WAS LIKE OH MY FUCKING GOD MADE OF WIN

[foxxcub.livejournal.com]

SHIT'S ON FIRE, YO

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

[starlit-cities.livejournal.com]

The watering the owl! HAHAHAHAHA!

I immediately thought of Danny as an owl and Steve hosing him down.....don't know why...my mind is a scary place.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

Ahahahaha HE WOULD BE SO ANGRY

[postcardmystery.livejournal.com]

OH GOD THE OWL I LAUGHED OUT LOUD AT THE OWL.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

THE OWL IS WIN <3

[fic-kitty.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAH WALDEN POND BEAR. AND ALL THE OTHER ONES ACTUALLY, BUT THAT ONE CAUGHT ME BY SURPRISE :D

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

HE ADVISES YOU TO SELL YOUR CLOTHES AND KEEP YOUR THOUGHTS.

AND ALSO TO CATCH SALMON IN YOUR PAWS, BECAUSE HE'S A BEAR

[taurenova.livejournal.com]

I, on the other hand (and because of 3 hours of Lego Harry Potter pre-bed), dreamt about being a Hogwarts student (Ravenclaw, natch) and there was lots of general shenanigans until Desire and Despair from Neil Gaiman's Sandman showed up an wanted me and this guy I was hanging out with to fight something - they were in disguise but I recognised them and went running around the school (which was a whole lot more modern than it really should be) looking for people who knew who the Endless were so that I could build an army because I was sure that this thing we had to fight was going to be ridiculously hard to fight.

Naturally all the Ravenclaws had heard of the Endless.

Sadly, though, I woke up as we were rushing off to wherever the hell this thing was.

On the top of Funny Shit From The Internet: that Spider-Man frame looks like it's from the really old series where the same music was used every episode and Doctor Doom tried to take over the world UN no fewer than 3 times within a few episodes: once be replacing representatives with robots, once with mind control and, my absolute favourite, once by threatening to ignite a ring of volcanoes around the Mediterranean and shift the Earth very slightly out of orbit and lower the overall temperature of the world by 4 degrees (IDK if it was Fahrenheit or Celsius, though). Dude was obsessed with the UN in that cartoon.

Thus concludes a lesson in Marvel history that I'm sure you didn't really need. (It was a truly awful Spider-Man, though. The 90s Spidey cartoon was the best.)

[inspiredlife.livejournal.com]

This entire post is made up of win and totally made up for my shite afternoon.

Can't decide which one I like best. I think the duck though which made me lolololol.

[chaoticallyclev.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD, THAT LAST ONE. OF, IF IT WAS A YEAR AGO, I WOULD PRINT THAT OUT AND PLASTER IT TO THIS ONE DUDE'S FACE. ...long story. point being, much laughter!

Your dreams are very special. that is all I have to say.

[lasamy.livejournal.com]

The duck!! LOL the duck

[winslow-arizona.livejournal.com]

I think the goat is my favorite. Or the baby turtle. Because if ever there was a reptile that could be called cute, IT WOULD BE A TEENY TURTLE.

[shiroi-ten.livejournal.com]

agh ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT THE LOVE OF MY LIFE.

I can't sjgiasojas brb laughing too hard. YOUR MACROS. <3

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

[katkaminion.livejournal.com]

And also:

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

SERIOUS BROWN AHAHAHA!