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Erp, so. Know I've been posting less than usual, and I am really sorry about that! RL's been a little nuts, my bad, dudes, but I am trying! And in homage to this, here is a post full of funny things. And puppies. And a bunny inna hat.

So, to start, here is the most hilarious video ever:

( And here's a bunch of other stuff! )

A funny shit on the internet post, because I am A LITTLE ANTSY TODAY, OKAY, MAYBE I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO SOMETHING, I WONDER WHAT IT IS? Even if I have to wait until the episode ~miraculously appears on the internet~ because my cable is busted.

TO START US OFF, THIS IS SO ACCURATE I CANNOT EVEN:

( and a million more (why did you guys let me get a tumblr, that was enabling) )

( Funny Shit I Found On the Internet: The Punch iambickilometer's Stupid Virus In The Face Until It Dies (Like A Kangaroo ONLY MORE VICIOUS AND BENT ON THE DESTRUCTION OF GERMS) Edition! )

FEEL BETTER,

iambickilometer! ♥

Last night my subconscious, apparently in the mood to fuck with me, dropped me into a dream where I was Jason Bateman's mail order bride. NO, I DON'T KNOW EITHER. I do know it must have been hysterical, as for the first time in years I woke myself up laughing, but this is the only part I remember:

Me: Are you...are you making sexy faces at yourself in the mirror?
Jason Bateman No!
Me: You are, aren't you?
Jason Bateman: ...oh, god, I miss Arrested Development so much.
Me: As do we all, Jason. As do we all.

SO, THAT HAPPENED. In the tradition of what the actual fuck, this is another Funny Shit On The Internet Is Funny post. "But Jizz," you're probably thinking, "you just did one of these the other day!" To you I say: I DREAMED I WAS JASON BATEMAN'S MAIL ORDER BRIDE. YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID.

( You guys know the drill by now. )

Sorry, I just love this icon a lot, and it *would* be relevant if tumblr didn't exist. Or maybe it wouldn't be, because maybe I would be asleep right now, because I WAS TOTALLY GOING TO GO TO SLEEP AND THEN TUMBLR ATE MY MOTHERFUCKING SOUL. FUCK YOU, TUMBLR. FUCK YOU A LOT.

So here's the latest edition of "my dream job is to be a curator of funny shit on the internet," largely courtesy the devil's own website. BUT BEFORE WE DO THAT, WATCH THIS VIDEO, FOUND WHILE I WAS BOPPING AROUND ON VARIOUS SHERLOCK TUMBLRS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO END THAT FIC EARLIER (which, okay, don't look at me like that, guys, do you know how hard it is to write 95% of a fic and then WAIT 7 MONTHS TO WRITE THE LAST 5%, because if you don't the answer is FUCKING HARD and I was looking to achieve the Sherlock headspace and achieved lols instead, CHRIST, COULD THIS SENTENCE BE LONGER):

No, really, watch it. Even if you've never seen Sherlock, watch it. It is funny on all of the levels.

( OTHER THINGS THAT ARE FUNNY ON ALL OF THE LEVELS: )

In conclusion, an image that is both ridiculously accurate and so relevant to my life right now I could weep:

SLEEPING FOR REAL NOW, GUYS. NO MORE TUMBLR. NO INSOMNIA DANNY/STEVE ~~PROBABLY~~. NO MORE SITTING AWAKE TRYING TO DECIDE IF I SHOULD CHANGE MY JOURNAL NAME FROM "STRAWBERRY WAFFLE BALLS & JALALENO CORNDOG SHRIMPS" TO "SHE GOES OUT AND STEALS THE KING'S ENGLISH." IT. IS. BED. TIME.

HAPPY APRIL 2nd! I CAN NOW TELL YOU ALL I LOVE YOU AND YOU WILL KNOW IT IS NO JOKE ♥

After he was forced to watch ALL OF THE AMAZING 90s VIDS YOU GUYS SO GLORIOUSLY PROVIDED:

Burro: HOW THE HELL DID YOU FIND ALL THESE SO FAST?!
Me: The internet provides.
Burro: Fuck that, I use the internet too, this is not natural. Do you have like--is there like a secret society of 90s enthusiasts, do you have some kind of network of people who--why are you laughing, what'd I say?

dfjdsfhsdjfdsjkfsdKDLHFSDHFGDSJKFHSDJKFHJSDKFS BURRO OH MY GOD YOU KNOW NOT WHAT YOU DO *GASPS FOR AIR*

( And now some macros for your trouble: )

OH JESUS, ALSO, THIS:

HNNNNNNG, CHIN. HNNNNNNNNNG.

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Entries tagged with macro posts to distract myself

funny shit on the internet again some more

funny shit on the internet take 742834723

i am going to sleep before 3 am like a human, BUT FIRST!

you go chasin' down the women and drinkin' up the beer

i am using this icon but it is a lie; there is no porn here

you can't cry cause you're laughing at me

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April 2020

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