my brother the thief:

[gyzym]

Okay, know it's been awhile since I did a post about the lunatics to whom I am related, but this could not be held back. So! This weekend Burro was in town, and at one point we were hanging out and he noticed that I was knitting something.

Burro: Hey, whatcha making?
Me: A laptop case.
Burro: Why do you need a laptop case?
Me: Because mine's been missing for like six months and I figured it was time to bite the bullet, but I didn't want to buy another one, because they're expensive.
Burro: Huh. I can't imagine needing another laptop case; I have two.
Me: You...have two.
Burro: Yeah, the second one just sort of showed up one...oh.
Me: YOU ASSHOLE, YOU STOLE MY LAPTOP CASE.

He admitted that that is probably what happened, and agreed to bring it when he comes back into town THIS weekend for Mother's Day. Today, he sends me a photo of both laptop cases sitting on his coffee table, and we have the following conversation via text:

Burro: Haha I have 2 computer cases! I'm holding the one for ransom so if you're gonna want it back I expect something for it
Me: BITE ME
Burro: Guess someone's not gonna get a computer case back with that snarky of language
Me: You a thief, yo, I don't have to listen to you
Burro: I prefer the term expert borrower yo
Me: Well, I don't negotiate with expert borrowers, I'm just saying
Burro: Well then...NO COMPUTER CASE FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me: I am laughing so hard I am choking rn, just fyi
Burro: That's unfortunate for you but if you think that's gonna elict me to give you back the computer case because I feel sorry for ya then you're sadly mistaken...don't hate me cuz you ain't me

ON THE ONE HAND, BEST EVER. ON THE OTHER HAND I WANT MY LAPTOP CASE BACK D:

Comments

[wheres-walnut.livejournal.com]

YOU GUYS SHOULD MEET IN A CROWDED PLACE AND EXCHANGE VALUABLE GOODS.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

THAT IMPLIES THAT I AM GOING TO AGREE TO HIS TERMS, NUT. NEVAAAAAAAR

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

There are days when I live for your lj posts.

This is one of those days.

ROFL!

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

:D MY BROTHER, HE SO CRAZY

[omglawdork.livejournal.com]

That Burro, he crazy.

I vote you withhold your delicious soup for eternity until you get the laptop case back.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

Dude that is a totally brilliant plan. ON IT.

[hungerpunch.livejournal.com]

I WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH BURRO SO BAD IT HURTS ; A ;

lol just way too funny, dude.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

BURRO IS PRETTY MUCH THE BEST :D

[ladyoflisquill.livejournal.com]

expert borrowe

Love it. I believe I am one too. :)

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

:D :D :D

[fic-kitty.livejournal.com]

DUDE WHAT. YOUR BROTHER. THAT EXCHANGE IS ALMOST TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. AND THEN HE USED ELICIT CORRECTLY IN A SENTENCE. I SEE WHY YOU FELT THE NEED TO SHARE THIS WITH THE WORLD.

[fic-kitty.livejournal.com]

EXCEPT I JUST NOTICED HE MISSPELLED IT BUT WE'LL GIVE HIM POINTS FOR TRYING AND ALSO TEXT MESSAGES CAN BE A BITCH.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

HE IS A FRAT BRO, THE FACT THAT HE KNOWS THAT WORD AT ALL REGARDLESS OF HIS SPELLING FILLS MY HEART WITH GLEEEEEE

[winslow-arizona.livejournal.com]

IF I HAD A BROTHER, I WOULD WANT HIM TO BE LIKE BURRO, POSSIBLY.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

I WOULDN'T TRADE HIM :D

[winslow-arizona.livejournal.com]

OF COURSE NOT :)

[sour-idealist.livejournal.com]

askfjlfajfkf I think I am forever ruined for sitcoms because they will all pale in relation to this.

Also, there are patterns for knitted laptop cases?

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

There might be! I don't know, I am winging it :D :D :D

[sour-idealist.livejournal.com]

Ah, I see!

My mother claims that there are patterns to knit everything, but hey, who needs them?

[fic-kitty.livejournal.com]

I just did a generic search for "laptop case" on Ravelry and came up with 28 different patterns :P

[sour-idealist.livejournal.com]

Someday I will stop reflexively hating it whenever my mother is right. ;)

[themostepotente.livejournal.com]

Ahahaha, it just *showed up* eh?

[arineat.livejournal.com]

EEEHEHEH!

Aw, too bad I'm 1) too old for Burro (23) and 2) already (happily) married. He's such a character. *loves him (non-creepily) from afar*

[gunslingaaahhh.livejournal.com]

this is similar if not IDENTICAL to the conversations i often have w/ my brother in real life.

[eyra.livejournal.com]

Hahhahhah bros. EXPERT BORROWERS ALL.

I have not yet made it home to retrieve my Easter candy, and yesterday my brother sent me a picture text of a Reese's egg, with the words "I'm sacrificing a piece of your candy. The sacrifice includes me eating it."

[nianeyna.livejournal.com]

I love this comment.

[fandorina13.livejournal.com]

I suggest you steal Burro's laptop case when he comes back. Or anything else at this point. :D

[ebeneezerdark]

...I prefer the term expert borrower...

This sounds like something Neal Caffrey would say. Now I've got a mental image of your brother with thick dark hair and gorgeous blue eyes... and annoying as hell... :-}