someday i'm going to base a novel on my family and no one will believe any of it was ever true

[gyzym]

Changed my layout and my default icon (SORRY CATHY I GOT REALLY SICK OF THAT RED HOUSE ALL THE FUCKING TIME DON'T HATE ME I KNOW IT IS CONFUSING BUT YOU WILL ADAPT SOMEHOW). Also changed my journal title for the first time since HAVING this journal, largely because... er, well. Because while "angelheaded hipsters" was and is one of my favorite Ginsbergian turns-of-phrase, I am not actually a hipster? At least not according the the current definition. I'd be more accurately described as "hippie," and I've wanted to screw around with my journal title for ages. It will probably change again shortly, once I scroll through the Inspiration Meme for the umpteenth time, but for right now it's a line from the e.e. cummings poem here's to opening and upward.

In other news, onthecount and I had a conversation last night about a Wizard of Oz AU and she...she drew DOROTHY COBB, oh, it is so glorious, and several other EQUALLY GLORIOUS THINGS (Tin Man Arthur! Scarecrow Eames! oh god really just click that link).

Furthermore, if anyone still needs proof that I am apparently Larry David, here is an actual conversation from the Chanukah brunch my family did this morning to make up for the one that got canceled due to blizzard:

My Aunt: Here, have some fruit.
My Father: Thanks.
My Aunt: Why aren't you taking any mango? Take some mango.
My Father: No, I don't like mango.
My Aunt: Of course you like mango. Everyone likes mango. Have you ever even tried mango?
My Father: Yes, I've tried it. I don't like it.
My Aunt: YES YOU DO, EVERYONE LIKES MANGO. EAT THE GODDAMN MANGO.
My Father: I DON'T LIKE MANGO.
My Aunt: You're probably mixing it up with something else. Where did you have it--in a smoothie? On a salad? Because you have to just try it plain to--
My Father: I've had it in smoothies and in salads and plain, I don't like it, I feel like I'm in Green Eggs & motherfucking Ham, I AM NOT EATING THE MANGO.
My Aunt: YOU MUST HAVE BEEN EATING SOMETHING ELSE, MANGO IS GOOD NO MATTER HOW YOU PREPARE IT.
My Father: The only time I've ever liked it was when I had some of those dried slices.
My Aunt: Oh. I don't like it like that.
Everyone: DSJFDSJFSDHJFKHDSFJKDSFHKDSJ.

Okay AND NOW I AM WRITING THINGS, BECAUSE I KNOW ALL I DO LATELY IS POST ABOUT HOW MY CRAZY FAMILY IS CRAZY, BUT IN MY DEFENSE...THEY ARE CRAZY. But my writing mojo is baaaaaaaaack, THERE WILL BE FIC OF SOME KIND BY THE END OF THE WEEKEND I SWEAR. My holiday_heist thinger went up yesterday but it was, let's be honest, largely an excuse to make it widely known that my people, the Jews, eat Chinese food on Christmas. BUT I COULD HAVE JUST LINKED YOU TO THIS VIDEO:

:DDD

ETA: OH ALSO, in an attempt to aid in the fake-naming of my brothers, I asked the 19 year old what he would pick as a superhero name. He considered deeply and then, dnfjsdfndsf oh my god, said MUTATION, and when I asked him why he said, very seriously, "Because it's a name of ambiguous morality. I could be caught in the epic internal struggle of good and evil! THINK OF HOW MANY COMIC BOOKS THAT WOULD SELL."

I reminded him that it was a theoretical exercise, but he would not be swayed. What even is my life.

Comments

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD YES

I WILL BRING MATZO BALL SOUP AND BRISKET

[two-if-by-sea.livejournal.com]

NUTELLA BROWNIES, MASHED POTATOES&GRAVY, AND PEANUT SAUCE NOODLES :((((((

I COULD ALSO ROAST A CHICKEN IF YOU WOULD LIKE.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

DUDE, WE SHOULD ALL ROAST CHICKENS. BECAUSE EVERYONE DOES THAT DIFFERENTLY AND THEY ARE ALL EXCELLENT.

...MINE INVOLVES A LOT OF GARLIC. AND LEMONS.

[two-if-by-sea.livejournal.com]

MINE DOES TOO!

IN FACT MINE IS 40 CLOVES OF GARLIC.

*buries head in hands*

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD, DO YOU DO THAT...I THINK IT'S INA'S RECIPE? BECAUSE SDJKFDSFHDS THAT IS SO GOOD.

I LIKE. COVER THE CHICKEN WITH GARLIC AND ROSEMARY AND THYME, AND STUFF IT WITH LEMON, AND THEN...COOK IT ON TOP OF A PIECE OF CIABATTA BREAD. WHICH I KNOW SOUNDS DISGUSTING BUT IT MAKES THIS BREAD SALAD THAT IS DELICIOUS AND TERRIBLE FOR YOU AND I ONLY LET MYSELF DO IT EVERY FEW MONTHS BECAUSE, AGAIN, TERRIBLE FOR YOU, BUT DFSJFDS SO GOOD.

[two-if-by-sea.livejournal.com]

I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S INA'S RECIPE, but it's the one that The Stinky Rose made famous, where you line the chicken with garlic and stuff like 10 cloves up the chicken's butt and then mash up the garlic to make GARLIC GRAVY and it's AMAZING, and yes, SO BAD FOR YOU, but god the ciabatta bread, that sounds amazing, I will do that sometime, omg jizzy why is roasted chicken so good. Do you ever shove a whole thing of onion cut in half with the lemon, because seriously, seriously.

And this time for thanksgiving I did that thing where you make sage/herb butter and shove it under the skin of the turkey breast, and I kind of want to do that sometime for the chicken, because god, so good i want to cry

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

The general rule of my life is: if it can be stuffed up inside a chicken I HAVE STUFFED IT UP INSIDE A CHICKEN, which is a really terrible sentence out of context.

dfjdsfd YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE TO TRY, you have to try this thing I made the other night, it's like...it's basically osso bucco with chicken instead of veal, and I used chicken thighs because breasts can't hold up to that cooking style, but NEXT TIME I'm just going to brown bone-in skin-on breasts for the juices and then roast them the rest of the way and toss them back in, because I just like breast meat better. BUT SDFJDFDS IT'S LIKE. ROMA TOMATOES AND THAT CELERY/CARROT/ONION BASE THAT WORKS FOR ALL SAUCES EVER, AND SO MUCH GARLIC AND THE NATURAL JUICES FROM THE CHICKEN SIMMERED DOWN INTO THIS LIKE. AMAZING. FUCKING. SAUCE.

Also lmfao my father DEEP FRIES THE THANKSGIVING TURKEY BECAUSE HE THINKS IT'S HILARIOUS, although we switch off who hosts Thanksgiving every year, so this year's Tainted Turkey Disaster was not his fault. But: deep fried turkey? Actually shockingly tasty.

[two-if-by-sea.livejournal.com]

NO BUT I UNDERSTAND< CONTEXT OR NOT, STUFFING SHIT IN A CHICKEN IS THE BEST <-- oh dear god a worse sentence to be taken out of context

FUCK, WOW, OSSO BUCCO WITH CHICKEN, that sounds fucking amazing. I love bone-in thighs the best, because I find that chicken breast is never as good because it's always so DRY, but shit shit shit, amazing, I am so going to make that after finals is done and then EAT THE HELL OUT OF IT.

I have never had deep fried turkey! I really want to though! This year we did a maple syrup basting, IT WAS MY FIRST TIME ROASTING A TURKEY, and I am never doing a maple syrup basting ever again, because it takes forever and makes your hands all sticky and only serves to color the skin (though very beautiful, it did look really nice) and also ruins the drippings for the gravy, so I had to make it out of browned turkey neck and turkey neck stock which, hahaha, it was delicious but I'd much rather make it with drippings!!

I made some weird Indian inspired chicken the other day, with onions and garlic and turmeric and yogurt cooked into a sauce?? And it was decent but I always seem to have a problem getting the taste into the meat instead of depending on the sauce. THOUGHTS??

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

See, see, I felt that way, and then I started REFUSING TO BUY CHICKEN BREASTS UNLESS THEY WERE BONE-IN AND SKIN-ON, and now I stuff rosemary up under the skin and rub them down with olive oil and salt/pepper before I cook them, and that keeps most of the juices in. AND THEN SO DELICIOUS, OM NOM NOM.

Dude maple basting is so much more trouble then it's worth, I did that oneeeee time and was like HARK, AND UNTO YOU I SAY: FUCK ITTTTT. And then the next year my father started with the deep frying, which, I mean, you *have* to make separate gravy because the drippings end up...in....the oil, but it's worth it for how crispy shit gets. SO CRISPY. SO GOOD.

I do have thoughts, actually! My thoughts are: take all the spices you're planning on using in the sauce and mix them into a dry rub a few hours before you're planning on cooking, coat your chicken with it REALLY GOOD, and stick it in a plastic bag and fridge it. And then BEHOLD THE POWER OF THE DRY RUB

[two-if-by-sea.livejournal.com]

ahaha OKAY I WILL TRY IT OUT, but thigh meeeeeeeeat, sigh, I guess my other thing is that thighs are just the right amount of meat for me since I am only ever cooking for myself, but I WILL TRY DOING THE RUB AND I WILL REPORT BACK.

God, why is crispy poultry skin so good. Duck, chicken, turkey, whatever, as long as it is crispy I will nom the shit out of it.

OMG PLANNING AHEAD. YOU ASK SO MUCH OF ME.

OKAY.

NEXT TIME. DRY RUBS.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

YOU DO NOT EVEN HAVE TO PLAN THAT FAR AHEAD, LIKE, AN HOUR OR TWO IS REALLY FINE, JUST LONG ENOUGH FOR THE SPICES TO REALLY ATTACH THEMSELVES.

Alternatively, there is the RUB THEM DOWN WITH SPICES AND IMMEDIATELY FLASH-FRY THE SIDES SO THAT ALL OF THE SPICES CRUST and *then* cook it the rest of the way in the oven, a la blackened chicken, but I hate doing things that way because it inevitably makes my pans fucking IMPOSSIBLE to clean

[two-if-by-sea.livejournal.com]

DELAYED SATISFACTION, HOW DOES THAT SHIT WORK!!

ugh, i also don't like blackened chicken, or blackened fish, or really any kind of meat that has the adjective "blackened" in front of it a;dlkfja;sfkd

OKAY DRY RUBS :D :D :D TY JIZZY :D :D :D

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

ANYTIME CATHY :DDDD