come on and close the curtains baby

[gyzym]

GUYS. GUYS. I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF DOING SOMETHING BUT onthecount LINKED ME TO THIS AND I NEED YOUR THOUGHTS:



CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHY ANYONE WOULD BE INTERESTED IN LIVING LIKE THIS!??!!? I mean, it's gorgeous architecturally, don't get me wrong, but what if you came home drunk with a significant other/fuck buddy/hot & willing stranger and forgot to close the giant curtain?!?!? What if you were running late and came out of the shower and forgot the curtain was open and found SOME KID ON A BIKE LIKE THAT KID IN THE INCREDIBLES GETTING A TRAUMATIZING EYEFUL OF YOUR LADYPARTS/MANBITS?

WHAT IF YOUR MOTHER DROVE BY, LOOKED INTO YOUR HOME, AND CALLED YOU TO TELL YOU THAT YOU NEED TO CLEAN MORE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

*CLINGS TO PRIVACY IN ABSOLUTE HORROR*

Comments

[cobweb-diamond.livejournal.com]

put it on top of a gigantic skyscraper and i'd be chill with living there. or on the edge of a cliff, overlooking pure nothingness.

[dremiel.livejournal.com]

WHAT IF YOUR MOTHER DROVE BY, LOOKED INTO YOUR HOME, AND CALLED YOU TO TELL YOU THAT YOU NEED TO CLEAN MORE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

HA! My mother has SUPERPOWERS! She can do that from 200 miles away!!!!

(Mind you, in the course of moving out of my house I have come to the conclusion that she is RIGHT about it)

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

On the top of a skyscraper I'd worry about helicopters; on the edge of a cliff I'D WORRY ABOUT HANGLIDERS. THERE IS NO SCENARIO IN WHICH THIS DOESN'T MAKE ME NERVOUS D:

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

DFJDSKFHDJSKF THEY'RE ALWAYS RIGHT, THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT SO TERRIBLE

[onthecount.livejournal.com]

lmao your concerns are so FOREIGN TO ME, omg. I would be upset that a) I would actually have to wear pants on a regular basis, and that everyone would see me failing hard in the kitchen.


...BUT THE CUBBIES. DON'T FORGET THE CUBBIES THEY ARE SUPER COOL!!!!!

[onthecount.livejournal.com]

WHAT ABOUT IN A DARK CAVE.

WHAT ABOUT IN THE BATCAVE?

[kristories.livejournal.com]

LOL My first thought was 'but people could see you!!! ewww!!" followed immediately by "who the hell is going to clean that window? And can the dry cleaners actually clean a curtain that gigantic??"

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

IN MY MIND, MICHAEL CAINE IS IN THE BATCAVE. ALWAYS. AND I LOVE MICHAEL CAINE, BUT IF HE SAW ME NAKED I THINK I WOULD DIE IN FEAR OF HIS JUDGMENT

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

ALWAYS PANTS. CONSTANT PANTS.

HOW CAN YOU THINK OF CUBBIES AT A TIME LIKE THIS

[jibrailis.livejournal.com]

My irrational yet pervasive fear of snipers makes this the House of Horror for me. ;___;

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

...oh my god I hadn't even thought about how dirty the window would get!!! YOU MOTHER COULD CALL AND COMPLAIN THAT THE WINDOW WAS DIRTY OH MY GOD

[cherrybina.livejournal.com]

Is your fear of snipers related to your secret desire to be a spy?

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

I cannot judge you for your irrational fear of snipers, because I am so afraid of bees (BEES! BEES. FUCKING BEES, THEY SHOULD NOT BE SO FRIGHTENING, I AM NOT EVEN AFRAID OF THE STING, I AM AFRAID OF THE BEE) that once I completely drenched myself in hot soup attempting to escape one.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

MAYBE SHE ACTUALLY *IS* A SPY, AND THUS HAS REASON TO FEAR THEM?

IT'S OKAY, NANCE. YOU CAN TELL US ABOUT YOUR LIFE OF CRIME-FIGHTING.

[jibrailis.livejournal.com]

I could tell you that, but then I would have to order you a new identity and hiding place. :(

[onthecount.livejournal.com]

I HATE PANTS. :(

AND HOW CAN I NOT THINK OF CUBBIES

[cherrybina.livejournal.com]

I just... do not even know what to think. I MEAN WHAT IS GOING ON HERE. Where do you even get a curtain that big? AND HOW DO YOU WASH IT? CURTAINS GET DUSTY. THIS IS A FACT.

[illian.livejournal.com]

Urk.

Giant one-way mirror/glass.

[illian.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure which would be worse: his disapproval or the opposite.

[jibrailis.livejournal.com]

Bees! Bees really like me for some reason. I probably should not tell you this story because it is FULL OF FEAR AND TERROR, but one time when I was talking to class, I threw out a wrapper in a garbage can, and a bee flew out and stung me in the hand. It wasn't too bad though, so I went to class, and when I took off my jacket, the BEE FLEW OUT OF MY JACKET AND STUNG ME AGAIN.

boo hiss, bees. not cool.

[illian.livejournal.com]

"And whose palm prints are up that high? Because your hands aren't that big!"

ARGH. I can hear it in my head!

[chaoticallyclev.livejournal.com]

I've only been stung by a bee once, and it was actually because i kind of fell on it and killed it. But in general, bees like to climb on me. a lot. and there was this big hive on the walk to my house back in california, and a bunch of them would circle around me, and i would start turning the other way, and the usually left after that.

I'm scared of strange dogs? like, i like dogs that i know and are mine, but i don't like other people's dogs. they too like to jump on me, and i am not very large, so it never ends well.

[chaoticallyclev.livejournal.com]

I do not understand why this exists. (it also looks really ugly in my opinion. I DO NOT WANT TO SEE THE INSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE, WHOEVER LIVES HERE. IT MAKES ME FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE)

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

RIGHT? RIGHT? ISN'T IT THE MOST TERRIBLE THOUGHT EVER??

[cmonkatiekatie.livejournal.com]

You could never throw stones if you lived there. And that curtain is really ugly. There is so much wrong here.