come on and close the curtains baby

[gyzym]

GUYS. GUYS. I AM IN THE MIDDLE OF DOING SOMETHING BUT onthecount LINKED ME TO THIS AND I NEED YOUR THOUGHTS:



CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME WHY ANYONE WOULD BE INTERESTED IN LIVING LIKE THIS!??!!? I mean, it's gorgeous architecturally, don't get me wrong, but what if you came home drunk with a significant other/fuck buddy/hot & willing stranger and forgot to close the giant curtain?!?!? What if you were running late and came out of the shower and forgot the curtain was open and found SOME KID ON A BIKE LIKE THAT KID IN THE INCREDIBLES GETTING A TRAUMATIZING EYEFUL OF YOUR LADYPARTS/MANBITS?

WHAT IF YOUR MOTHER DROVE BY, LOOKED INTO YOUR HOME, AND CALLED YOU TO TELL YOU THAT YOU NEED TO CLEAN MORE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

*CLINGS TO PRIVACY IN ABSOLUTE HORROR*

Comments

[cobweb-diamond.livejournal.com]

put it on top of a gigantic skyscraper and i'd be chill with living there. or on the edge of a cliff, overlooking pure nothingness.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

On the top of a skyscraper I'd worry about helicopters; on the edge of a cliff I'D WORRY ABOUT HANGLIDERS. THERE IS NO SCENARIO IN WHICH THIS DOESN'T MAKE ME NERVOUS D:

[dremiel.livejournal.com]

WHAT IF YOUR MOTHER DROVE BY, LOOKED INTO YOUR HOME, AND CALLED YOU TO TELL YOU THAT YOU NEED TO CLEAN MORE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

HA! My mother has SUPERPOWERS! She can do that from 200 miles away!!!!

(Mind you, in the course of moving out of my house I have come to the conclusion that she is RIGHT about it)

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

DFJDSKFHDJSKF THEY'RE ALWAYS RIGHT, THAT'S WHAT MAKES IT SO TERRIBLE

[onthecount.livejournal.com]

lmao your concerns are so FOREIGN TO ME, omg. I would be upset that a) I would actually have to wear pants on a regular basis, and that everyone would see me failing hard in the kitchen.


...BUT THE CUBBIES. DON'T FORGET THE CUBBIES THEY ARE SUPER COOL!!!!!

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

ALWAYS PANTS. CONSTANT PANTS.

HOW CAN YOU THINK OF CUBBIES AT A TIME LIKE THIS

[kristories.livejournal.com]

LOL My first thought was 'but people could see you!!! ewww!!" followed immediately by "who the hell is going to clean that window? And can the dry cleaners actually clean a curtain that gigantic??"

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

...oh my god I hadn't even thought about how dirty the window would get!!! YOU MOTHER COULD CALL AND COMPLAIN THAT THE WINDOW WAS DIRTY OH MY GOD

[jibrailis.livejournal.com]

My irrational yet pervasive fear of snipers makes this the House of Horror for me. ;___;

[cherrybina.livejournal.com]

Is your fear of snipers related to your secret desire to be a spy?

[cherrybina.livejournal.com]

I just... do not even know what to think. I MEAN WHAT IS GOING ON HERE. Where do you even get a curtain that big? AND HOW DO YOU WASH IT? CURTAINS GET DUSTY. THIS IS A FACT.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

THE MASSIVE FUCKING CURTAIN SUPER EMPORIUM, OBVIOUSLY. HAVEN'T YOU SHOPPED THERE, BINA? THEY WILL SERVICE ALL OF YOUR MASSIVE FUCKING CURTAIN NEEDS?

Also, I think Walmart has a massive fucking curtain section, THEY CERTAINLY SEEM TO HAVE SECTIONS FOR EVERYTHING THE FUCK ELSE D:

[illian.livejournal.com]

Urk.

Giant one-way mirror/glass.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

One way glass TOTALLY ALSO MAKES ME NERVOUS, because I always worry that it is not a mirror on the other side really and people can actually see me!

[chaoticallyclev.livejournal.com]

I do not understand why this exists. (it also looks really ugly in my opinion. I DO NOT WANT TO SEE THE INSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE, WHOEVER LIVES HERE. IT MAKES ME FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE)

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND EITHER D:

I think from like...like, if it were perfectly made up inside...like, if it were a spread in Architectural Digest or something, I'd think it was gorgeous. BUT THE REAL-LIFE APPLICATION BUMS ME OUT HARDCORE.

[cmonkatiekatie.livejournal.com]

You could never throw stones if you lived there. And that curtain is really ugly. There is so much wrong here.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

You could never throw stones if you lived there.

A+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

[joonscribble.livejournal.com]

So it's just impossible to allow light into just ONE part of your house? If you allow for the sun to enter downstairs thus it must be upstairs?

I...yeah, not feeling this.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

With every comment I get more D: about this house. I HAD NOT THOUGHT OF THAT EITHER, but oh my godddddd

[sour-idealist.livejournal.com]

I HAD TO STARE AT THIS FOR LIKE FIVE MINUTES TO CONVINCE MYSELF THIS WASN'T A DOLLHOUSE, WTF.

Um, hi, I found your Hollywood AU a couple weeks ago and I think I commented and then I decided to lurk... and failed at the lurking part, apparently.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

I KNOW!! I KNOW!! I WAS LIKE, THIS CAN'T BE REAL. AND onthecount WAS LIKE, SOMEONE LIVES IN IT!! AND THEN I HAD TO MAKE THIS POST!

Feel free to not-lurk as often as you want :D I'm so glad you enjoyed that story, and welcome aboard!

[seeingrightly.livejournal.com]

I think I just might be missing the point, but that is a VERY SMALL HOUSE.

Wait. WHERE DO YOU PARK YOUR CAR.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

Having looked closely at the photo, I think the question *might* be: where do you park your...sailboat???

[shiroi-ten.livejournal.com]

*does a Cobb squint*

WHY IS THERE NO LAWN? Did they spend all their money on the gigantic glass and FORGET ABOUT CURB APPEAL? Maybe it is just the area...I hope so. Plus the inside looks like an insane asylum. Surrounded by white and glass and...stares.

The only glass house I ever wanted to live in is in Big Sur on top of a hill. the shower glass was squiggly. xD

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

WHERE WE'RE GOING, WE DON'T NEED LAWNS?

[kleat.livejournal.com]

Honestly? It reminds me of a twisted, modern version of the thinnest house in Amsterdam - it's about as thin as that one but old Amsterdam style instead of modern glass and squished between two other similar but much wider houses. (I have a picture somewhere but I can't find it and anyways I can't post it because I don't know how...)

I share concerns about cleaning the windows and the curtains but what really really worries me is, once you put the curtains down, HOW DO YOU PUT THEM BACK UP?

Imagine coming back from a great night out with a Joseph Gordon-Levitt lookalike (or preferably the real thing)and being like "Wait! I have to pull the Curtain up! Think you can help me out?"

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

I HAD NOT THOUGHT ABOUT THAT, BUT UGH. Maybe there is a pulley system!?

[saavira.livejournal.com]

All I can think of is 'Can you imagine how heavy that gigantic fucking curtain is?'

And why is it just ONE giant curtain? Can't they just invest in another curtain rod thingy where the landing is? So there's two curtains. And you don't have to walk all the way upstairs to close the GIGANTIC curtain if you decided on sexy times downstairs.

Does the roof curl downwards? I mean, I guess you won't need to clean the gutters if the rain water and gunk just flows down, but, but...WHY?

I feel like I'm putting way too much thought into this.

[kleat.livejournal.com]

I admit to having very similar concerns about the Curtain's weight. It looks extremely unmanageable...

[gollumgollum.livejournal.com]

I would be terrified of getting up in the middle of the night to pee (like i do, oh, every night) and walking into/through the giant glass window because i'd forgot to pull the curtain.

And my absolute first thought was of the nagging i would get from my mother about how dirty the window was ALL THE TIME. *nods*

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

SO MUCH NAGGING. ALL OF THE NAGGING *shudders*

[leavingslowly.livejournal.com]

I think some people are just natural exhibitionists. The girl in the unit across the courtyard from me? She never closes her bedroom blinds and it's a straight shot into the bathroom. I accidentally saw her naked ass on the toilet the other day. TMI for me, personally, but she must know people can see her and doesn't give a damn!

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

Augh oh my god I AM SO SORRY ABOUT YOUR OTT NEIGHBOR EW D:

[hazysea.livejournal.com]

I am seriously in HYSTERICS over the concept of a giant curtain! Oh Lord XD

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

SO BIG. SO NOT ADEQUATE. MDKSFMSDF.

[oaktree89.livejournal.com]

*insert glass houses pun here*

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

A+ :D

[beachlass.livejournal.com]

Our breakfast table conversation this morning

beachlass: Look at this house
boy: I really hope the kids next door don't play baseball

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

....ahahahaha now I'm re-imagining the sandlot to include this thing :D :D :D

[two-if-by-sea.livejournal.com]

imagining you with this house

imagining your family with your house

imagining your ex just casually wandering by and staring at the house. for hours.

laughing.

[two-if-by-sea.livejournal.com]

Also it looks to me like the only visible part of the curtain is whatever two rooms are shown? The bottom floor at least looks to have a definitive wall that keeps you from seeing the rest of the first floor. I can't tell from the top, it but looks like it's just a sitting room of some sort? That wouldn't be so bad. It'd just be like having really large windows for the non-private parts of your house? :D

[dakunut.livejournal.com]

Eventually that curtain is going to get dirty.

WHAT THEN? DO YOU TAKE IT TO THE WORLD'S LARGEST LAUNDROMAT?!

No. Just no.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

The world's longest laundromat, for sure. Or maybe the manufacturers wash it for you? IT WOULD KIND OF BE THE LEAST THEY COULD DO.

[foxxcub.livejournal.com]

ALL THESE THINGS JUST RAN THROUGH MY HEAD AT ONCE OMG :O

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

I KNOW. IIIII KNOW. D:

[buhfly.livejournal.com]

I think it might be something that just becomes second nature? I mean, if you had a bedroom that faced onto the street with a regular window, you'd remember to close the curtains, right?

[ebilgatoloco.livejournal.com]

I kind of want to know where this place exists at....It's soo oddly shaped! O.0