vital information for your everyday life

[gyzym]

So, sometimes it's two in the morning and you find yourself mildly drunk by way of a random late night drop-by from an old friend and you're hovering between being awake and being asleep, lacking the skill to compose words or interact with people but unable to divorce yourself from internet. This is why stupid articles like this exist, okay. Hell, it's why the entire Cracked site exists.

Anyway, for your amusement, a strange Amazon product and a hilarious review, ganked from said article:





aksdjad we who are about to pass out salute you, etc etc. ♥

ETA: OH MY GOD OKAY SO I MADE ALL THESE TAGS ABOUT HOW IT WASN'T 3AM AND THEN THE TIME CHANGED BECAUSE OF SPRING FORWARD AND NOW IT IS 3 AM JSKHFDSJFKDS WTF OH MY GOD /cool story bro change your clocks guys

Comments

[chaoticallyclev.livejournal.com]

I think I just hurt myself laughing.

(also, why i have a clock that changes automatically. like magic)

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

CLOCKS TOO COMPLICATED, SLEEP NECESSARY FOR UNDERSTANDING OF TIME

[seeingrightly.livejournal.com]

Oh, oh, I wish I'd saved it but the other day I saw another review about how the book is actually completely wrong and gives terrible advice and didn't actually save this guy from getting hit at all, damnit, etc.

Your tags are full of magic and joy and rainbows, you know. Literally. THEY KNEW THE TIME WHEN YOU DIDN'T.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

ddjfdsh the only two tags on this post that should be here are "who gave me the power to tags things" and "why," the rest of them should have gotten the veto button, ALAS FOR I HAVE NO VETO BUTTON, SELF CONTROL, WHAT IS IT

[seeingrightly.livejournal.com]

psh, whatever, your power to tag things makes everything better, WHO NEEDS A VETO BUTTON OR SELF CONTROL

[siehn.livejournal.com]

lololol I am in the same boat. /shot'd. I COULDN'T RESIST, OKAY IT IS LATE, AND I HAVE BEEN DRINKING, TOO.

haha I saw that somewhere the other day. Facebook, maybe. I don't even know. It's hilarious.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

fjdsjfhdsjhf AHAHAHAHA BOATS

...yeah that's all i got but ILU BOATS <3 <3 <3

[sour-idealist.livejournal.com]

Er, thank you for this post! I completely forgot daylight savings and thought I'd lost track of time horribly... well, more than I did.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

no, it's not you, it's the clocks being tricky fucks :D

[fic-kitty.livejournal.com]

Your tags will always make me snorfle.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

djfhdsjkf MY TAGS ARE RIDICULOUS :D

[viennajones.livejournal.com]

:D :D :D
Do you think Danny would give that to Steve as a present?
Along with matching compies of 'How to avoid driving cars on a boat', 'How to avoid hanging guys off a roof', 'How to avoid Tripple Banana Level' and 'How to avoid making Danny fall in love with you for the love of his sanity and wellbeing'?

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

"HOW TO AVOID TRIPLE BANANA LEVEL," omg ilu <3

[viennajones.livejournal.com]

:D Yeah well, he can't beat Danny now, can he? ♥

[queenklu.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHA. AHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Did you hear about the guy who called the White House to tell them he had been ABDUCTED because he LOST A WHOLE HOUR and couldn't remember ANY OF IT? OBVIOUSLY ALIENS.

...I think he was joking? Maybe?

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

...oh my FUCKING GOD people are so CRAZY sdjfhdsfkds

[apples]

I just had the weirdest fucking dream in the world.

So I was hanging out with my friend and my... the.. boy who asked me out last night at my mom's old house, which she sold a long time ago. So that was weird. I don't know what we were doing? But anyway, I find out that the boy's last girlfriend, Courtney (wtf I don't even know a Courtney) is pregnant. I was, well, uh, really freaked out, and I went outside so that I could call my friend and go, "I KNEW HE WASN'T A VIRGIN HIS EX IS PREGNANT AHAHAHAHAHA!" (we actually discussed that in real life, uhh) but I decide not to call her because I realize she's ALREADY INSIDE THE HOUSE because she's been there the whole time. My dream logic let me show you it. BUT ANYWAY, I go to my mailbox, because.. I felt the need to check the mail? (The mailbox was in the middle of the yard, not on the street like it actually was for some reason??) and I look inside and it's FILLED with like, those orange padded envelopes, and there are also just plain CDs in there, and the CDs say OK GO on them, and it's OK GO's new CD. My friend comes outside and she's like, "BECAUSE IT RHYMES WITH JIZZ!" The OK GO cds were from YOU. This was totally normal in the dream, though I did think about how I could distribute all them at the office (I don't WORK at an office. or ANYWHERE.) to people and I briefly wonder about how much it cost to send me like... 50 CDs.


I'm still trying to figure out what rhymed with Jizz.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

fdfdhsfhdsfds.

Um. Well. I DID NOT ACTUALLY SEND YOU 50 OK GO CDS, I AM VERY SORRY. However, things that rhyme with Jizz...er...fizz? Liz? Um. Whizz?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU, BB, THAT IS A WEIRD DREAM AND NO MISTAKE

[apples]

I'M WONDERING IF MAYBE THE NAME OF THE CD RHYMED WITH JIZZ? AND YOU WERE SO EXCITED THAT YOU SENT THE CD TO EVERYONE. I SORT OF REMEMBER THAT. MY DREAMS ALWAYS HAVE, LIKE, BACKSTORY THAT I DON'T REALLY THINK ABOUT IN THE DREAM BUT IT'S STILL THERE. BUT I THOUGHT, "OH, OF COURSE JIZZ IS SENDING OK GO CDS THIS MAKES TOTAL SENSE EVERYONE IS GETTING CDS FROM HER."

[freaky-zero.livejournal.com]

And the best part? It's a Second Edition!!

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHA OH MY GOD THAT IS TOTALLY THE BEST PART

[shiroi-ten.livejournal.com]

LOOOL WHY ARE PEOPLE SO STUPID AND AMAZING? Only in America would they actually SELL. And the people that have time to write snarky comments that make my day. I suppose the captain always had trouble avoiding problems...

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

Note to self: DO NOT GET ABOARD BOAT CAPTAINED BY THAT GUY

[zolac-no-miko.livejournal.com]

I wish I had read "How to Avoid Huge Ships" a couple of months ago, perhaps by following the directions I could have prevented myself from being sucked into this whole Steve/Danny thing....

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

A+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

[zolac-no-miko.livejournal.com]

:D

Am I really the only person who had this thought? It was like, the first thing that went into my mind when I saw the picture. Before I read the post, I assumed you were making a fandom joke. ^_^;;

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

...FDSKFJSF A FANDOM JOKE WOULD HAVE BEEN MUCH FUNNIER DJFDHSJFS

[zolac-no-miko.livejournal.com]

*brushes imaginary dirt off of shoulder* I've got your fandom jokes covered, bb, s'why you keep me around~

[winslow-arizona.livejournal.com]

I forgot to change my clock. Then my mom barged into my room all "have you been lying here all morning do you have any idea what time it is" and I was like "bzuh why are you in here, I was dreaming about Spencer Reid being adorbs and you ruined it, go away."

Then I was all "oh...shit, I had stuff to do today and it's already 1 PM."

And that's how my day has been.

[skyvehicle.livejournal.com]

MOVE, ship!
get out the way
get out the way, ship
GET OUT THE WAY.

[foes-of-reality.livejournal.com]

LOL BRB AFTER I STOP DYING.

Oh, what the hell. This will never stop being hilarious. \o/