titties and beer

[gyzym]

THE TITLE OF THIS POST IS NOT MY FAULT, OKAY, IT'S REALLY NOT.

Right, so, I almost finished the Steve counterpart to that fic I put up earlier, only then my brain crapped out and elrhiarhodan did this music quiz thinger where you put your iTunes on shuffle and answer questions with the songs that come up. So I did that, and got mostly hilarious results, which I then...went through and talked about...because I have this problem where I am incapable of shutting up.

You guys are going to think so much fucking less of my music taste after this. HOWEVER, the basic principals of this XKCD comic (totally and very much copyright Randall Munroe) pretty much apply here as well:



In conclusion: try to contain your disdain. I know it will be difficult.


IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY: Swing Batter Batter - Trace Adkins

WAIT LET ME EXPLAIN. I have this. This shameful love of really atrocious country music, okay. It's like my love of ridiculous badfic and The Room! It's entertaining in its epic fail, and this is maybe the worst song of all time, but every once in awhile I feel like just laughing my ass off at terrible…stop judging me! STOP JUDGING ME, I SEE YOU JUDGING ME.

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY? Womanizer on Fire - Kings of Leon vs. Britney Spears vs. Jason Nevins (Mashup by LeeDM101)

While I hope I'm not a womanizer, I kind of…hope I'm not on fire more…

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN THE OPPOSITE/SAME SEX? In The Car - Barenaked Ladies

WELL, ACTUALLY. I have this theory that you shouldn't seriously commit to anyone until you've had to spend 18+ hours in a car with them. While this is probably borne of the fact that my parents used to say things like LET'S GET IN THE CAR AND DRIVE FROM OHIO TO SOUTHERN FLORIDA WITH TWO TEENAGERS AND A 5 YEAR OLD, YES, EXCELLENT PLAN, it has proved an effective test. If you can spend that much time cooped up with someone and come out of it not wanting to kill them dead too much, it's probably a solid match, I'm just saying.

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? Semi-Charmed Life - Third Eye Blind

I'm pretty sure this is actually my iTunes projecting, because I pretty much just used it to play "Dog Days are Over" on a constant loop today.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE? Althea - The Grateful Dead

In five years, when I'm inevitably a hobo waving around a sign that says "Will write for food," I am going to come back to this quiz and use it to justify adopting a nomadic lifestyle following Grateful Dead cover bands.

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? I Shot The Sheriff - Eric Clapton

FUCK YOU ITUNES, I DIDN'T SHOOT ANYONE. Also oh my fucking god I love Clapton a lot but I hate this song so much. It's only on my computer because my mother hates it even more than me, and I like to burn it onto CDs for her (the times, you guys, she is a little behind them), tucked in amongst music she enjoys, because she leaves me the most hilarious messages ever about how this and A Horse With No Name are the worst songs ever written, and why am I like this, and this is my father's influence isn't it, and she knew she should have married someone less crazy, and she's going to get me back for this, and thank you for the rest of the CD that isn't terrible and soul-destroying, and she loves me. :D

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Silent All These Years - Tori Amos

Ahahahahhahahahahahhaahahahahahah. I once overheard a friend of mine describe me to a third party as, "No, the little blonde girl, you met her at that party, she was the one holding the bottle of Jameson and yelling about monkeys." I'm actually pretty sure iTunes is mocking me.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band - The Beatles

hermette, I AM SO FREAKED OUT BECAUSE OF THIS, OH MY GOD. Everyone else…okay, I am working on this story that I'm not going to talk about because it's ridiculous and I can't even think about it right now, but this is like. dfhdjskfhdsj THIS IS A VERY SCARY THING MY ITUNES DID HERE, I THINK IT IS SENTIENT, SEND HELP.

WHAT IS 2+2? Rocket Man - Elton John

While completely nonsensical, the disconnect between the question and the answer here is an extremely accurate representation of my relationship with mathematics. SORRY, cherrybina, I CAN'T HELP IT D:

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? Whenever, Wherever - Shakira

Oh, god, why why why why is this on my iTunes why, dsjfhsdjkf please refer to the comic above, Christ.

On the plus side, I did send my best friend a text that said "lucky that my breasts are small and humble" when this came up, and she sent back I HAVE BEEN CONFUSING THEM WITH MOUNTAINS ANYWAY, so at least I can be sure we're still good together ♥

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Oxford Comma - Vampire Weekend

Well, as the most active relationship in my life right this moment is the one I am having with my laptop and the six million docs I have open, THIS IS KIND OF SPOT-ON.

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? Everyday People - Sly and the Family Stone

This is accurate if we have an Eats, Shoots and Leaves moment and insert a comma. Everyday, people! Because seriously, you guys, PEOPLE HAPPEN TO ME EVERY DAY.

Otherwise, lolno. The people in my life are many things, but they are not particularly "everyday." Please see every entry ever about my family for further proof.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? Napolean - Ani Difranco

Shit, iTunes has revealed my plan to take over the world too soon. I was going to learn from Eddie Izzard history, too! Ah, well, foiled again.

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Wishing He Was Dead - The Like

…oh my god, apparently iTunes is really bitter about my single-mindedness with Dog Days today. I AM NOT ACTUALLY EVIL, TRYING TO KILL ANYONE, OR PLANNING WORLD DOMINATION. Christ.

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? Rocky Raccoon - The Beatles

I am tempted to do this now, if I ever end up deciding to legally bind myself to another person instead of just sharing houseroom with them and causally thieving from their closet. The absurdity value alone, man.

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? I Can Sleep When I'm Dead - Jason Michael Carroll

If you don't know this song, please do not google it. Please do not. Please do not, it will only hurt you. If you do know this song, please refer to the first answer I gave about terrible country music and not judging me, because I just. I have nothing to say for myself. I have nothing to declare, not even my genius.

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? No Sleep Tonight - The Faders

Well, writing does often lead to no sleep. I'll give you this one, iTunes, but you are still on notice.

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? I'm Crazy and Gay Cats - Mike Birbiglia

WAIT LET ME EXPLAIN AGAIN. I do not actually have a song called I'm Crazy and Gay Cats in my iTunes--Mike Birbiglia is a hilarious comedian I discovered via This American Life, and this is a bit from one of his comedy albums. He is amazing, you guys should try him.

Also, I do not possess any cats, gay or otherwise, and if there is anyone reading this blog who thinks my insanity is a secret, I'm going to advise going back and looking a lot harder.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? Pena - Captain Beefheart

dfjsdkf I was just telling someone about this stupid fucking thing the other day--I have this friend, okay, who hooks me up with awesome music all the time, and she loves Captain Beefheart, and I HATE CAPTAIN BEEFHEART (sorry, Captain Beefheart fans on my flist, I am not judging you, I just, ugh). Anyway, she put a bunch of it on my computer because she likes to see me suffer and I keep forgetting to delete it, and THIS SONG starts off with someone repeating the phrase "fast and bulbous!" enthusiastically, because Captain Beefheart is all absurdist whatever.

This is jarring at the best of times, but it is ESPECIALLY JARRING WHEN WRITING PORN SJDKFHDSKFDSF

WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN? Toxic - Britney Spears

It said the worst thing that could happen, not the worst song, iTunes. Oh, god, I am mortified to have to admit that I own this song, whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

HOW WILL YOU DIE? Broken - Norah Jones

HOW COMFORTING, ITUNES, THANK YOU

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET? Shelter Me - The Waifs

While neither pertinent to the question nor funny, this does give me the chance to pimp The Waifs! They're this really awesome Aussie folk band I've been obsessed with for years, you guys should check them out.

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH? Hurricane Drunk - Florence & The Machine

There are a couple people on my flist who have received drunk dials from me and can confirm this--this is scarily accurate. I laugh like a hyena when trashed, pretty much constantly. It's very sad for me, or at least for the people around me.

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY? Carry Me Home - The Hush Sound

Well, okay, the first line of this song is "I used to dream until I stopped writing fiction," and NOT WRITING FICTION WOULD TOTALLY MAKE ME CRY. So, fine, this one gets a checkmark.

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED? I Want You Back - Jackson 5

…I tried to actually write something about this like four times, and stopped and danced around in my chair all four times. I GIVE UP, EVERYBODY DANCE NOW.

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST? Yellow - MIT Logarhythms (a cappella cover of the Coldplay song)

Yes indeed. The color yellow strikes fear into my heart. I quiver in terror. In fact, I would go so far as to say yellow…bring out my yellow streak.

…oh, whatever, it's 1 AM and there's never a bad reason to whip out the instant rimshot button.

DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU? Relentless - Jo O'meara

YES, THIS QUIZ IS INDEED RELENTLESS ON THAT TOPIC. I mean, look, I'm as willing to talk about sex and whatever as the next girl, but I am not in middle school, quiz. If I want to know if someone likes me, I will ask them, because I am a fully developed adult. LET IT GO.

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE? Bonnie & Clyde II - Martina Sorbara

Kudos for actually grabbing a song with a historical event in the title, iTunes! But really, this is the one you pick?

WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW? American Boy - Estelle & Kanye West

Yes, this song does hurt me. I think it hurts us all.

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS? Titties & Beer - Rodney Carrington

…fuck you, iTunes. Fuck you so much.

Comments

[doctor-fangeek.livejournal.com]

Here via Elr's friends journal, and because I used to read your fic when you wrote White Collar ::smirk::, and because this meme is just SO MUCH FUN!

Anyway, I think iTunes is just sneaky evil or something. For you, it wants to expose your atrocious country music kink. For me, it wants to make it look like I only listen to about 5 different bands, by carefully selecting 2 or more songs by the same group. Again, and again, and again.

But reading this was super entertaining, so I think it's all good in the end. :)

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

I AM GLAD TO ENTERTAIN, and yes, iTunes is sneaky and evil and terrible, ALAS D:

[snottygrrl.livejournal.com]

i know you don't know me at all, and i don't want to seem like some creepy stalker grrl, but you make me smile :D

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

You are not creepy or stalkerish, bb! I post random shit about my life on the internet for the sole purpose of making people smile, I am always glad to hear it was a success :D

I am not judging you.

[loceheri.livejournal.com]

Laughing a little, yes. Judging you, no. You are far from the only person with embarrassing music saved on their computer. Good for you for putting it out there. For those of us who will read your awesome fiction no matter what else happens love you for who are, no musical choice could change our mind.

Re: I am not judging you.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

Awwwww, bb! I AM TOUCHED THAT YOU ARE NOT ABANDONING ME BECAUSE OF MY OCCASIONALLY AWFUL MUSIC TASTE ♥

[fic-kitty.livejournal.com]

WELL. I don't know very much about you, but actually this post title seems strangely accurate.

If only for its very randomness.

Is... is that awful? Am I an awful person? I can't help it, when I think of you, I totally think of titties and beer.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

fhsdjkhfsdjkfh YOU ARE NOT AWFUL, BUT NOW I AM MILDLY WORRIED ABOUT THE INTERNET IMAGE I PRESENT

[leupagus.livejournal.com]

So can I come to you with quations about obscure country songs? Because that would be useful.

Also you should feel no shame for any of these answers - after all, at no point did "Your Body is a Wonderland" come up as an answer. Rejoice!

Also also if you need someone to cheerlead the Steve-side of your story, I too am insomnimaniacal tonight. I'm just saying.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

YOU CAN. I don't know if I will know *all* of the answers, but, sadly, I will definitely know some.

This story is at the point where I'm just like sfjhsdjf TOMORROW I WILL FINISH IT AND NOT TODAY, but! Should you feel like having an insomniac email exchange/chat, PM me your email or gtalk info or AIM shit orWHATEVER METHOD IT IS YOU USE TO COMMUNICATE ON THE INTERNET, unless it is MSN messenger because that shit makes Macs cry. I will be up for awhile and will happily spew nonsense in response to any and all intelligent things you have to say :D

[chaoticallyclev.livejournal.com]

THE ONLY THING WRONG HERE IS THAT HONKYTONK BADONKADONK DIDN'T SOMEHOW SNEAK IN THERE. IT IS THE HOLY GRAIL OF TERRIBLE COUNTRY.

...what? I SPENT THE FORMATIVE YEARS OF MY CHILDHOOD LISTENING TO CRAPPY RADIO PARODIES. CRAP COUNTRY WAS THE LOGICAL NEXT STEP.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

...oh god that song is totally on my computer, so is Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off, kill me kill me

[blueraccoon.livejournal.com]

(i almost posted this anonymously, but.)

I own Ke$ha. I can't judge anyone's music taste. That is all.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

fjsdfhdssdjghds I TOTALLY ROCK OUT TO THAT ONE TERRIBLE ONE IN MY CAR SOMETIMES. Actually now that I think about it I have trouble distinguishing them, so I might have rocked out to more than one of her songs. IT IS SO BAD, BUT CREEPILY INFECTIOUS.

[sorrynotsorry.livejournal.com]

I may have a couple of those songs but still judging.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

DO NOT JUDGE. DO NOT.

[queenklu.livejournal.com]

*HYENA NOISES*

I was going to learn from Eddie Izzard history, too!

I'm pretty sure not a week has gone by since I discovered Eddie Izzard that I don't quote from Dress To Kill. Hell, pretty much every time I stepped outside this winter I went "Oooooh it's a bit cold, it's a bit cold. RUSSIAN FRONT NOT A GOOD IDEAAAAAA. HITLER NEVER PLAYED RISK WHEN HE WAS A KIIIIID."

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

fjdksfhsdjkfhsjkd a couple years ago I saw him live and, just, Christ, THE MAN IS HILARITY PERSONIFIED JDSKFHSDFSF

[siehn.livejournal.com]

lolololol I TOTALLY HAVE CRAPPY COUNTRY ALL OVER MY COMPUTER TOO, DON'T WORRY.

also bad 80's music because my family is a terrible, terrible influence, and my sanity was a lost cause at birth.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

CRAPPY COUNTRY FANS UNITE! :D

[angelgazing.livejournal.com]

I considered doing this, but then I got "Under the Sheets" for "What is your life purpose" and decided that, no, no, it would be a much better idea to get some sleep.

<333


I've seen you in a fight you lost

[angelgazing.livejournal.com]

Oh, oh, and "what's your motto" got me Don't Waste Your Love On Me by This Is Ivy League.

/o\

[celemie.livejournal.com]

No big deal, just laughing hysterically at 4am...
:DDDDDDDDD

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

:D :D :D :D :D

[nianeyna.livejournal.com]

Haha, I tried to do one of those memes once, except... I had just put a bunch of podfic on my ipod... so it kept giving me stuff like part 8b of Fanny Fangirl's porn epic, and let me tell you, I am mostly a lesbian. "Throbbing cock" does not describe any aspect of my life, at all. It was at that point that I decided never to put my iPod on shuffle again, ever, especially if there were other people around. XD

ALSO HEY, this is totally random and idek what reminded me of it, but are you still working on that original fic you posted a snippet of a while back? Because it looked AWESOME, and if you have decided not to work on it anymore you should, you know, crush my hopes and dreams now. ;)

also also, it occurs to me I've been commenting a lot here lately. Um. Sorry? Hello? I NEVER KNOW WHAT THE ETIQUETTE FOR THESE THINGS IS.

ETA: going to listen to Dog Days Are Over now to get it unstuck from my head. *toddles off to youtube*

SON OF ETA: I... had never actually seen the music video for that song before. Wow. I mean, it's not like I knew what was going on in that song before, but I'm even more confused now. XD

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHAHAHAHA. You can take all your podfic and set it to audiobook status if you want, which will keep it out of your main shuffle pool and in a separate iTunes tab. That is what I do!

I am still working on that and like, four other original pieces dsnhsdjfks. They just don't ever go up here because of like, the idea that I might actually want to do something with them some day/not wanting to clutter up a fandom space although LOL LOL I TOTALLY DO ANYWAY THESE DAYS. But yes. It, er, exists? I AM FRANKLY DEEPLY FLATTERED THAT YOU EVEN REMEMBERED IT, NGL.

THAT VIDEO IS EXTREMELY BIZARRE IT IS TRUE :D

[viennajones.livejournal.com]

I have this theory that you shouldn't seriously commit to anyone until you've had to spend 18+ hours in a car with them.

Actually, I think this is a very valid theory.

Anyway, that graphic up there makes me SAD T____T I want Pandora back. It was AWESOME and I loved it and then they had to go and deny access from Germany because of licensing.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

Try Grooveshark, it's better anyway :D

[robanybody.livejournal.com]

Hee, Mike Birbiglia. I love his comedy so much, but holy shit, some of his stories just hit my embarrassment squick so hard. For the story about the blind sports writer, I had to cover my face with my hands and go, "Oh, honey, NO."

Also, back in the mid to late '90s, I used to love Trace Adkins and Toby Keith. I'm more embarrassed about Toby Keith than I am about Trace.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

He definitely pounds on the embarrassment button, oh my god. Sometimes I am like, loool, Birbigs, and sometimes I am like WHY, BIRBIGS, OH MY GOD.

I totally have Toby Keith too /o\ He's so hysterically self-absorbed! It cracks my shit up every time.

On a totally unrelated note, I...read all of your Alex/Scott fic in one sitting the other night after sheafrotherdon linked me, and didn't leave any comments because I'm a terrible person with the attention span of a gnat. But! I LOVED THEM, OH MY FUCKING GOD, YOU ARE A GENIUS ♥

[sirona-gs.livejournal.com]

Yaknow, this sounds like quite a fun meme! I might just gank it! Remember how I mentioned British Indie bands? Yeah. Mind you, knowing me, the most embarrassing shit will come on instead!

Also, I can't really judge -- there were about two or three years of my formative life when my parents decided to SCAR ME FOR LIFE and play The Winning Hand VHS on a loop. Even now I can recognise their voices the second I hear them, and Willie Nelson makes me shudder. Dolly Parton, though -- when she comes on, I can't help but chairdance! SO NO JUDGING OVER HERE.

And also -- EDDIE IZZARD IS MY TRANSVESTITE BOYFRIEND. I adore everything about him! I had the chance to see him live in Manchester about seven years back, and I laughed so hard that I almost fell out of my seat and got vertigo from it. He will forever be my favourite comedian ever.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

I SAW EDDIE LIVE IN COLUMBUS OHIO (shut up, he was there, WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO) like three years ago, I think it was three, mighta been two, ANYWAY. HE IS AMAZEBALLS.

Also you should totally do this meme, it's a blast :D

[gurl-dont-even.livejournal.com]

Mostly just echoing what lots of other people have said, BUT!

Sorry for being a huge stalker, but most everything you say is deeply humorous, and based on the fact that I've even been reading all of your personal posts, I feel like I should actually say something to you instead of quietly lurking like a weirdo.

Mike Birbigulbugs is REALLY FUNNY. I bought my dad his book as a gift recently.

[arineat.livejournal.com]

I SWEAR I AM NOT JUDGING YOU! Much xDD

Your mom sounds brilliant. *Awe and envy*

No, the little blonde girl, you met her at that party, she was the one holding the bottle of Jameson and yelling about monkeys.

<3______________<3 You sound like fun!

LAKDJFLAKSDLFKJASLKDJF IZZARD!

O______________O Captain Beefheart??? *blink*

HAHAHAHAHAH! The last one!! Oh, bb, *pets*

/Random reactions to this post.

P.S. The Waifs = ♥

*Adds them to my playlist*

(I'm actually that compulsive, I had to delete this comment to fix a mistake and now I'm editing it. Again. -_____- FAIL.)

[onthecount.livejournal.com]

I am sad to realize that (according to this, lol) our musical tastes only overlap where you are ashamed to have things and I am resigned to liking them. XD;

[winslow-arizona.livejournal.com]

Hello, terrible country music, my old friend. I'm a lifelong fan of the genre, but I honestly do not understand the popularity of certain country singers *coughTraceAdkinscough*.

Also, I Shot The Sheriff is an easy song to hate. It just is.

[sheafrotherdon.livejournal.com]

I am going to do this later today, this meme, because it is CRACKALICIOUS. Although I don't want to get married, so that you know, poses a problem for those couple of questions. Unless :))) maybe i-Tunes will select 'Fuck You'?

ANYWAY, all this by way of saying, holy god, yes, 'I Shot the Sheriff' is the WORST SONG EVER. I HATE IT. HATE IT, PRECIOUS.

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

UGH IT IS LIKE MUSICAL TORTURE. And I side-eye Clapton so hard whenever I hear it, because I am like, HI, ERIC, I KNOW YOU CAN DO BETTER. I KNOW ABOUT DEREK AND THE DOMINOES. I KNOW ABOUT CREAM. I HAVE HEARD LAYLA, YOU ASSHOLE, DO NOT GIVE ME THIS SHIT AND PRETEND IT IS YOUR BEST WORK. YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED.

...I mean. Um. I'm...not secretly Eric Clapton's high school English teacher?

[cherrybina.livejournal.com]

AHAHA THIS IS SO AWESOME. Also, if I ever did this, which I won't, you would laugh so hard at my taste in music. SO EMBARRASSING.

P.S. You can totally say bad things about math and I promise it's okay with me :D. PLUS I AM REALLY KIND OF TERRIBLE AT ARITHMETIC ANYWAY.

P.P.P.S.S.S. I Want You Back is one of my favorite songs of all time. OF ALL TIME. I have a not-so-secret wish for someone to make a breakup/make up vid to it for my OTP in every fandom I've ever been in :D

[gyzym.livejournal.com]

I TRY WITH MATH, I REALLY DO, WE JUST DO NOT SEE EYE TO EYE.

Also oh my god we share that wish, I WANT THAT IN EVERY FANDOM, I want *canon* versions of that, dfhdsjfhdsjf

[lavender-basil.livejournal.com]

Can I just tell you how HAPPY I am that I "found" you through Five-O fandom? This is just full of awesome.

Signed,
The person who has "Kiss This" by Aaron Tippin on her iTunes because, oh my god, it doesn't get any better than bad country music.

[aredblush.livejournal.com]

I have a love/hate relationship with this kind of meme because while the songs are rarely embarrassing, the titles always fits the questions with freakish precision :|

[slowlikewine.livejournal.com]

I had no idea that Titties & Beer was a real song. I thought it was just something my cousin and his ridiculous (but actually quite lovely) friends had made up for the sole purpose of singing really loudly and off-key when they get drunk on the front porch knowing full well that I have to work in the morning (we're neighbors, see). Huh. The more you know.