i am using this icon but it is a lie; there is no porn here

[gyzym]

Sorry, I just love this icon a lot, and it *would* be relevant if tumblr didn't exist. Or maybe it wouldn't be, because maybe I would be asleep right now, because I WAS TOTALLY GOING TO GO TO SLEEP AND THEN TUMBLR ATE MY MOTHERFUCKING SOUL. FUCK YOU, TUMBLR. FUCK YOU A LOT.

So here's the latest edition of "my dream job is to be a curator of funny shit on the internet," largely courtesy the devil's own website. BUT BEFORE WE DO THAT, WATCH THIS VIDEO, FOUND WHILE I WAS BOPPING AROUND ON VARIOUS SHERLOCK TUMBLRS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO END THAT FIC EARLIER (which, okay, don't look at me like that, guys, do you know how hard it is to write 95% of a fic and then WAIT 7 MONTHS TO WRITE THE LAST 5%, because if you don't the answer is FUCKING HARD and I was looking to achieve the Sherlock headspace and achieved lols instead, CHRIST, COULD THIS SENTENCE BE LONGER):

No, really, watch it. Even if you've never seen Sherlock, watch it. It is funny on all of the levels.

OTHER THINGS THAT ARE FUNNY ON ALL OF THE LEVELS:































STOP, PRINCESS TIME:



No, really, it's princess time. I'm going to go ahead and explain this one the same way I did on tumblr: This is an almost accurate representation of me as a Disney princess. I own that dress! I own silver shoes that sparkle kind of like that! I really do have that much hair! It’s a pain in my ass, which is why it’s always up on top of my head.

However, if a bluebird came and sat on me like that, I would not be smiling at it. I would be doing this:



Trufax, kids.

In conclusion, an image that is both ridiculously accurate and so relevant to my life right now I could weep:



SLEEPING FOR REAL NOW, GUYS. NO MORE TUMBLR. NO INSOMNIA DANNY/STEVE PROBABLY. NO MORE SITTING AWAKE TRYING TO DECIDE IF I SHOULD CHANGE MY JOURNAL NAME FROM "STRAWBERRY WAFFLE BALLS & JALALENO CORNDOG SHRIMPS" TO "SHE GOES OUT AND STEALS THE KING'S ENGLISH." IT. IS. BED. TIME.

HAPPY APRIL 2nd! I CAN NOW TELL YOU ALL I LOVE YOU AND YOU WILL KNOW IT IS NO JOKE ♥

Comments

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

[shiroi-ten.livejournal.com]

♥__________♥

I adore your late night posts, no matter how bad they are for all the sleepy cycles. >.>

[sour-idealist.livejournal.com]

Westboro Baptist Church counter-protests are the greatest things in so many ways. (Er, assuming that's what the third from the bottom one is, rather than... something else.)

[viennajones.livejournal.com]

I did not notice a 7 month gap between the end of that fic and the rest of it. So okay, I'm still a little tired, but I think it's rather because you did a good job with that ending. By the way, that thing from your not-fanfiction is up on my wall now, right next to Hawaii on my globe lamp :D

Eeee. PRINCESS! Oh god. I love princess makers, they're like, the best thing in the world.

Sleep well ♥

[seeingrightly.livejournal.com]

ksaldjaskldjaskld I tried to do that princess maker but like 98% of the dolls on that site do not offer the option of a pixie cut for hair and then I get frustrated and stop. (Seriously one night I sat around making steampunk and pin-up and adventurer girl!Arthur and girl!Eames because I am cool.) BUT DOLL YOU IS SO CUTE.

I am either "not too far" or "eh" from Ohio, depending on if I'm at school or not. This one of those moment when I realize how fucking small Jersey is. SHUT UP WE HAVE A HUGE REPUTATION AND A TON OF NOTORIETY AND WE ARE LOUD AND PROUD. WE FORGET WE'RE LITTLE.


OH GOD AND THEN I ACCIDENTALLY MADE A METAPHOR THAT WORKS FOR JERSEY AND DANNY HIMSELF AND MYSELF.

[tzikeh.livejournal.com]

see icon.

[seeingrightly.livejournal.com]

BASICALLY <33333

[fic-kitty.livejournal.com]

Between you and seeingrightly I am FALLING OVER RIGHT NOW FROM LAUGHING.

My night has been gun porn, and this.

\o/

[snottygrrl.livejournal.com]

unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately depending on how one feels about ohio), i live in one of the grey states that. which actually means that i can enjoy your late night meanderings not so late at night (er, except that sometimes it is that late by the time i get to them). and i do v. v. much enjoy them [*cuddles you close*]

[nianeyna.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD THE SHADOWFAX ONE. I LITERALLY CRIED LAUGHING. It was terrible really, I kept trying to scroll down to the next one but every time I looked back at the screen there I went again. THE LITTLE DOG. HE IS SO SERIOUS. AND THE BIG DOG IS JUST LIKE :D?

[arineat.livejournal.com]

BAHAHAHAHAH!!!! OMG, JIZZ, THAT VIDEO *DIES* You physically hurt me with the lulz. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY NOW!

Also, that map? ACCURATE. NEVER WAS FOR DIRECTIONS IN THE MID-FUCKING-WEST. At worst you'll get the answers on the map, at best it'll be "Rait, now whatchoo gun do eis, take this here road down a little ways till you see a house with a yella mail box. You're gun wan take a left thaer Keep going till you come to a fork in the road. Take the road that has the wonky sign on it."

-___________-

[zolac-no-miko.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD THAT SHERLOCK VIDEO. I LITERALLY LAUGHED SO HARD I COULDN'T BREATHE ANYMORE. I THINK I MAY HAVE ACTUALLY DIED FROM LACK OF OXYGEN.

[wheres-walnut.livejournal.com]

I was sort of half heartedly scrolling until I saw the Ohio picture and figured, "Oh, this must be a Jizz post."

[forsweatervests.livejournal.com]

This post is amazing. No lie.

[pennyplainknits.livejournal.com]

Thats where Ohio is? I thought it was in the middle! All my illusions are shattered.

[winslow-arizona.livejournal.com]

I LOL AT THIS POST.

...And now I go to waste the rest of my morning with that princess maker.

[twig-tea.livejournal.com]

LOLOLOLOLLLLLLLLING FOREVERRRRRRRRRRRRRR

[elrhiarhodan]

You make me smile.

And you may even make the black cats smile.

[jacquise.livejournal.com]

GOD JIZZ THAT VIDEO

"my back? YOUR back? CACKALAKALAKALACK!"

[acquiredsight.livejournal.com]

Okay, you are such a redditor. Or maybe you don't do reddit and just see lots of reposts on tumblr or something. Still: "make a gorilla face" is my favorite.

[merely-anger.livejournal.com]

Steve Holt!

Hahaha, holy crap. That seriously made my night. Thank you. :)